Gail_R Posted September 17, 2008 Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 Hi everyone it has been sometime since I have posted. Thought that I was doing so good and today all I can do is cry. Tomorrow would have been Bruce and mine 32nd anniversary so that's Sept 18th and then on 20th Bruce will be gone 20 months. I thought that I was ready to start a relationship...so I had a few dates with a very nice man...thank god he is as nice as he is because i'm not ready for anything right now but a friendship and he is alright with this so we still email and talk on the phone but as for dating I'm ready yet maybe someday but not right now. Bruce was and will always be the love of my life and that is not fair to have someone try to live up to that. Thanks everyone for being here for me again. Love Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 17, 2008 Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 (((((Gail)))))Hugs,KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 Thanks Kay I need that hug more then you know. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted September 17, 2008 Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 Gail,The dating scene again, who would of thought when we got married that we would be in that place again. I have dated off and on for the past year,Karen has been gone since April of 2006. I like you have found that I am not really ready to have a serious relationship. Personaly I don't know if I eever will be only because I have gotten used to being alone and rasing my son and really don't want to change anything else. Basically I have found that I am happy with who I am and where my life is. One day, who knows maybe I will run across that one special person that I will be willing to let into my life. You are lucky that the guy you have dated is as understanding as he is. Every time I have mentioned just being friends with the women I have dated they are done with any contact what so ever. You have 2 events so close together, I can imangine the emotions that you musst be going through. These happen however as I am sure you have now noticed that they don't happen as often any more. You will be in my thoughts and prayers durning the next few days.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 Thanks Derek..yes I am lucky that he as understanding as he is. But forgot to mention that he knew my husband Bruce and I think that is why he is so good about it. Meet him at a wedding of a friend in June and he just showed up at my house a few weeks later and we did go out on a few dates but I guess I was just not ready. Not sure if or when I will be. You are so right the bads days are not so often anymore but when they come it is like a slap in the face and it brings it all back not that you forget it but it is just a little easier to live with. Well thanks again for all your help. gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 I am kind of at that stage as well, I don't know if I ever want to marry again. I am enjoying the freedom (well at least as much freedom I can have while rasing a 9 year old) LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 (edited) Just don't get married! At least not yet. I am comfortable being who I am right now but don't feel married because mine is so out of the norm but I AM married so I'm kind of in a weird place. If I had it to go over again, I'd say wait and give yourself lots of time to adjust and process all the changes and get comfortable with who YOU are. Marriage can wait for "someday". Edited September 18, 2008 by kayc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 It is only just about 3 months since Alex passed. I just at this time cannot imagine myself even being with someone else. Just the thought of going through those uncomfortable first dates and the small talk. I know when time goes on it might change, but if I do happen to meet someone I know I won't try and see if that person is like or compare to Alex. That would be a mistake. That is why I would take my time. Right now I am just dealing with the loss day by day.Love and God BlessJeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Kay that is good adivse...marriage is something that I am not looking for right and maybe never. It would just be nice to have someone to go out for coffee,dinner,movie or a concert but that is all that I am looking for. Beside that this gentleman has two families grown kids like mine and then a 11 year old daughter and a new family is not what I want. You are right I have to get use to being by myself first...Bruce and I married when I was very young just 18 had all three of our kids in the first 5 years ...thought that we would have the rest of our lives to grow old together maybe do a little travelling but it was not to be...if I want to have young kids around all I have to do is get the grandsons over. Bruce has only been gone 20 months of Saturday so I think that I will take my time but that does not mean that I want to sit at home very night by myself...so someone to do things with would be nice after all I am just 50 to young to sit in a rocking chair and rock my life away. Thanks Kay for being such a good friend. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Jeannie and Gail,My husband was a friend of George's too, and that made it easier...it started out just friends and he knew and understood George so well, I don't think it would have happened if it'd been any other way. But even so, it was too soon and the common basis we had was not enough...here we are in separate towns with separate lives, separate finances, what kind of a life is that? I'd had no idea it'd go this way. If I'd have been in my right mind I would have made different decisions. That's why I feel compelled to offer caution to others...not that anyone else would do something as stupid as me, but...just in case. I can't take back the last few years and redo things, but maybe I can make someone else stop and think better than I did. I've been lied to, cheated on, he's hurt me financially, you see, we are very vulnerable when we lose our spouse, it's important to recognize that until such time as we are stronger and know who we are. I AM that person now, but now is kind of too late, now I suffer the consequences. I've seen people get married right away where things turned out great, but then there's my case, and either way...it's not a good idea "too soon". If they're meant to be, they'll be "meant to be" tomorrow too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Kay your adives is good..thank you...but don't think that you were stupid it is so lonely to be by ourselves...when we married our husbands we thought that it would be for ever and it was not and it is not fair. Today was our anniversary so I went to Bruce's grave and but some flower...also had myself a really good cry. But I know that he would not want me to be so unhappy so with little baby steps I keep going. thanks again Kay Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Gail, my dear sweet friend whom I love with all my heart...please know I am with you on this special day and am sending big (((HUGS))) to you. I am so glad you went to visit Bruce and brought him flowers, that is very special. Keep hugging those darling grandsons !!!Love You,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Wendy you are my best friend and I am so glad that I meant you on this site have help me so much and I don't think that you know what a wonderful and caring person that you are. thanks for being here for me and helping me with everything. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Gail thank you and you are so welcome and please don't forget how much you have been there for me too, I don't know what I would have done without you too. I always carry you in my thoughts and in my heart...some day we will get together and I will be able to hug those Grandbabies myself ! Love You,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted September 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 Wendy that sounds good...anytime you are welcome at my house I have 5 bedrooms so there is no problem about finding you a place to sleep. But I will just let you know that I live out in the country on a farm...you being a city girl you may not like it to much LOL. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 Gail I am far from a city girl, Jersey is alot of farms. I grew up with every type of animal imaginable including horses and pet skunks. I worked on a dude ranch with my Mom starting at the age of five which is when I learned to ride and groom and muck out stalls for free trail rides that my Mom and I would pack picnic lunches and ride for hours. I will be quite comfy at your place believe me !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted September 20, 2008 Report Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hellow Gail its a hard day for you and Im thinking of you .I have missed your posts and advise for me.You have new life in your family that will bring a lot of joy.I know the feeling of steps back but I hope that as time goes by this feelings will be easier to handle.Love from far away TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now