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I Love You!


fred

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How is that for a title to grab your attention? Well, it is true, I really do. I love all of you as brothers and sisters, children of God. I love you as friends and neighbors in this virtual group we belong to and fellow travelers on this most difficult and terrible journey through grief. You have all helped to bring me to where I am today. You´ve picked me up when I have fallen and carried me when it wasn´t possible for me to go on any further alone. Just knowing that I was not alone, that there are so many others that can´t sleep at night, or remember what we are doing from one minute to the next, or cry at the drop of a hat. All of the things we have experienced, we have shared together and it makes it easier to keep going, Not easy, but easier. Besides all of this love, caring and compassion; I have also found hope. Hope that I will survive this ordeal and be able to go on, hope that life may become ¨normal¨ again, that perhaps, just maybe, I will someday love and be loved as I was twenty months ago. Hearing that some of you are making that transition; still struggling perhaps, but making progress all the same is very encouraging. It is most encouraging not just because I can cheer you on and believe that someday I will also make it, but because I am starting that same transition myself. Someone loves me! And I love her as well! I know that for those of you just begining this journey, the idea is almost unfathomable, the pain and loss are too great, but if this thought gives you any hope, then it is good. The love I felt long ago is not diminished in any way, this is a new love, a new begining. A big reason for posting these thoughts and feelings here is not only to let you know that I am moving forward, and to give you hope, but also as an announcement of a very noteworthy event here in our group. You see my words are not just directed to all of you that have accompanied me on this journey, but also to her. For she is one of us. A very special, very warm and loving individual that has given so much of herself to help the rest of us along. Her words have always lifted my spirits and it was with great delight that I found us growing closer and closer together. Neither of us is healed yet, and so we are getting to know each other very slowly and carefully. We are all fragile creatures yet, and we certainly don´t want to risk losing any of bond that has developed between us, but yes, we are in love. I could go on at some length about this most beautiful and amazing woman, but perhaps it is her turn to speak now. Could I ask that the rest of you please refrain from replying to this post right away, at least until she accepts this ¨public¨ proclamation of my love. Your turn, Love :wub:

Edited by fred
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Fred,

I will never forget that day back in May when you sent me a private email through the group because you were worried as I had not posted in a week. There was such caring and compassion in your note and I could not believe that someone would have noticed I was not there. We continued to email for months and then went to online chatting and then eventually we started talking on the phone and there were real voices to go with those letters. At that point it all started to seem real as we talked many times a day, never wanting to get off the phone. Meeting in person of course was the best, of course I had not felt knots in my stomach like that since I was a teenager. You have to be the most wonderful and caring person I have ever known, it is so wonderful to have someone love me again. I have to wonder if Steve sent you to me, you put me right back up on that pedestal that he used to have me on that I fell off of 18 months ago. Yes we are taking it nice and slow, just the way we should but enjoying every minute of it along the way. To think it was not that long ago that I thought my world had come to an end, that things would never get better and then you came along and saved me. Gee did you think you would ever fall in love with a "Jersey Girl?". LOL I think this video says all the rest....

I love you too,

Wendy :wub:

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Well, my gosh....isn't this world a wonderful world! Bless all our hearts and we are so privileged to hear this great story to two great people. It's such a life, isn't it? Bless your beautiful and caring hearts. Jack and I had such a caring and wonderful life in much the same manner. Love you both. I'm amazed and love this so much.

Love, Karen :wub:;)

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Oh Wow.. ((((((((((((Fred & Wendy)))))))))))))

Hope you don't mind me butting in here but I just had to tell you both how very happy I am for you!

I'm wellin up here.. but..

I know love is a great thing and my wish for both of you is that it continues to grow as you meander along on your journeys.

(And Wendy.. us Jersey Girls aren't so bad, are we? lol :) )

leeann

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So wonderful to see you as well Karen,

Fred and Wendy, it is so good to hear that things like this can happen. I actually had been wondering about you as well Wendy as I haven't heard from you in awhile. I hope you are still not sleeping in the recliner. Hopefully one day I will meet someone a well, for now I am content with being single.

Love always

Derek

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Fred and Wendy what wonderful news. Fred were you just about ready to "pop" with joy. I can almost see you with your chest all puffed out. It so nice to see something joyful come out of all of our sorrow.

My only fear is that if this continues you'll leave our group and Wendy you especially have been a big help to many of us.

I wish you both the very best and good luck on this new journey. :wub::wub:

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Hi Karen, Derek and Mary Linda, It is so good to hear from all of you. I don´t think you need to worry too much about Wendy and I disappearing from the site. We are still grieving, we still have bad days and really bad days and even bad weeks, but at least now there is someone special for both of us that is always there with a hug (and you know that nothing else is as good as big hug in person from someone you love). Could you forget where you met your special love, or who was there to share that time with you?

No, Mary Linda, I won´t be taking Wendy away from all of you. I KNOW what she means to all of us, remember that it was her words that first stole my heart. I missed her posts right away when she wasn´t on for a few days and was just checking to see if she was okay when we first began to trade emails. No, I expect we will be here for a long time to come. How can we ever begin to repay the debt we owe for all that you all have done for us. Just think of the group as a big extended family. Sometimes cousins will drift off or move away for a while, but once you are in the family, it is permanent. :wub:

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My dear friends I wish I could post in Greek so I can expres my feelings for both of you.Wendy you were a great help and always here when I needed you Fred you gave strength when I was in hospital in april and most amasing you wrote in Greek !How about honey moon in Greece?Happy news you give us hope for going on love your far away friend TENY

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Wow!!! Blew me away!! :wub: I am so happy for the both of you! I know what a caring man Fred is, I still have the personal message he sent to me on 4/20 encouraging me, it is sitting right by my computer. You guys are so special, I am blown away with surprise and equally tickled to death about this new (to us) turn of events. Of course we won't lose you both, you are family, and you'll keep checking in even when you don't feel pain inside so much. You see, grief is forever, but it changes form, and eventually turns from inner anguish and pain into kind of a settled acceptance, and even an inner sense of peace knowing that the person is inside of you, and you never lost them at all, it just changed form. I still draw strength and comfort from my George, and I know you both will your late spouses, even while enjoying the company of one another. You both know the acceptance that comes with shared grief and can add that to the dimension of your relationship. I wish you both the best in your newfound love, and hope you continue to keep us posted!

Love,

KayC

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Fred and Wendy,

You are two of the most empathetic and eloquent people on this site, and you've helped so many of us, including me -- it's awesome that the site has brought you together. It was meant to be!

I wish you every happiness together. You renew my faith and remind all of us that not all of life's surprises are bad ones.

:wub: Kathy

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Fred and Wendy,

I know you will still be here even when you don't have those grieving days. If anything you will stay and be a help to those newbe's that come to this site to encourage them that there is hope and that we can live again. I don't have very many bad days anymore, but I still come here to help others and to give to them what this site has given me. Hope that life will get better even when it didn't seem like it at the begining.

Love always

Derek

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Hello everyone, how can I thank you all so much for your good thoughts and prayers. You are all such wonderful friends and I am glad Fred told you all the news. Kay you have no idea how caring Fred is and how he makes sure each minute of the day I am okay, he constantly tells me that if I am happy that he is happy, wow is that sweet or what? We have this special bond that no one can break...we even vowed that if God forbid this does not work out between us that we are friends for life, close special friends that would need to be accepted by anyone new coming into our lives. Yes Derek I still fall asleep at times in the recliner, just did last night as a matter of fact...we are working on that, but I can be very stubborn and I can still hear you telling me to get out of the recliner and go to bed ! LOL ( I was thinking of you with the recent Hurricane, you and Carson okay ? ) Karen, Leeann, Mary Linda, Patti, Kathy G. and Teny I can not tell you how much you all mean to me, no I will not be leaving the group and neither will Fred, I will make sure of that. We both love you all so very much and consider you our family, like Fred said we are both still hurting , we still miss our spouses very much and have a long way to go. We could never replace what we have lost and won't even begin to try but the bond we have now together is amazing and we are there for each other every minute of the day. I just want new people especially to know that life can go on after losing a loved one, it is not an easy road to go down and I have cried and kicked and screamed the entire way. I spent over 30 years of my life with Steve, since I was 15 years old...that is very hard to get over, so I will not get over it...I will just move on and make a new life...make new firsts and try to be happy once again. This group has been amazing, but it does help to have people you can speak with privately to open up even more with that understand from experience what you are going through. I have that with Fred, and also my dear friends William and Gail and Corinne whom also mean the world to me. Thank you all again for posting to our news, I love you all !

Love,

Wendy :wub:

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Wendy & Fred,

I'm very happy for you. God works in mysterious ways...we've all heard that a million times. Sometimes it comes to us in sadness and other times in a wonderfully happy way. I'd say you two are very blessed to have found each other. I said a prayer for your future happiness. God bless you as you go forward in this relationship.

Sherry

Edited by shhh65
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Fred and Wendy, it is so good to know that there can be happiness down the road,and i am so glad you found each other to be that 'special someone'. I was on the site last night and was wondering who was the special one, as I am new to the site its taking me a while to get who is who,but everyones been wonderfull to me and i apreciate all the advice i've been given. So best wishes to you both, and I hope you will find peace and happiness, Cheryl lee

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Wendy,

It is so good to hear you say that life does go on and you are living it. You have come a long way. I remember when you first joined this group and the thoughts of meeting someone and caring for them was the furthest thing from your mind. Way to GO!!. Now get out of the recliner and get some good sleep in your bed. :P

Love always

Derek

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Dear Wendy and Fred:

I have not been posting for very long since my husband has be gone for 3 months. This news just shocked me but also made me feel very happy for both of you. I hope both of your lives are filled with much happiness and love as you take this next journey together.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

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Wendy and Fred,

What a wonderful surprise! I remember when I first joined this site, I would read all the posts, including the "loss of a spouse,partner"..I found myself thinking it would be so nice if all of the people posting in that group could find someone special here , someone that understands what they are going thru. Someone to help them thru this hard,hard time. I am so glad you two have found eachother, I wish you all the best.

How often do you get to see eachother? Wendy, how does your daughter feel about this? Thank you both for making my day a little brighter with your news.

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Guest moparlicious

Wendy and Fred,

You two give me inspiration and hope, it has been 13 months since my beautiful Dan has left this earth and not a day goes by I don't think about him. Thank you both for brightening my day, and please know I am elated for you both. I have been feeling very down lately and think of myself as the ugliest person ever, I hate my looks and being alone is so lousy!!! I too am a Jersey girl and I know you all are great, but we truly "ROCK". Even though I live in Phx(not for long) I am always true to my east coast. I love you guys, I wish you much happiness and u two are the best!!!! Wendy you have no idea how much you have helped me these months to get through, I love you both, you have special places in my heart. Love, Kim

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