15th Wedding Anniversary

[JeanneC]

Today is my 15th year wedding anniversary. I met Alex 20 years ago as a blind date at a BBQ on 4th of July. He liked me more than I liked him. In fact I happened to like someone else at the BBQ. But Alex would not leave my side the whole day. I figured let me give him a chance. He did seem nice. We had such a nice day and evening with all our friends. After the BBQ we all went to see the fireworks and then went to the diner afterwards (that's what we all do in Brooklyn at the end of the day - go to a diner! haha). Since that day were were never apart. Friends of ours who introduced us were so happy that we got together. And then of course the rest is history as they say.

Today is one of the first that I have to endure. I have been dreading this day all week. Before Alex passed away I was thinking and getting excited that we will have been married 15 years and together 20. I was hoping that we would be together forever. But what is forever? I guess the forever for Alex and me was 3 months ago. There will be other firsts, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday and his. But this was suppose to be a shared anniversary. I know many of us have to go through all of these occasions, I just don't know how to get through them.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[MartyT]

Jeanne, dear ~ You get through these difficult days just as you get through any other day: one day at a time, with a little help from your friends, including the members of your GH family. Know that you and Alex are in our thoughts and hearts today . . .

[JeanneC]

Marty:

You are always so gracious.

Thank you very much for thinking of me and Alex.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[WaltC]

A July Barbeque 20 years ago

Anniversaries can be wonderful when we have our loved ones with us to share the day.

But they can be tough when we are alone.

Fortunately we have friends at this site who understand others' grief and losses - we have been there.

Try your best to remember the good times back with Alex back in 1988. Here's something to help:

Remember the words to the July 1988 hit song:

"Together forever and never to part, Together forever we two

And don't you know

I would move heaven and earth To be together forever with you"

How long is "forever" ? I don't know but I am sure for me the love continues long after the physical presence left.

I don't remember many of the songs from 1993, but I do remember this one:

Alex would tell you:

"I hope life treats you kind

and I hope you have all you dreamed of

And I'm wishing you joy and happiness

but above all this I'm wishing you love

And I will always love you, I will always love you"

I hope that your special day goes well for you - I know it is tough.

Edited September 25, 2008 by WaltC

[JeanneC]

Walt:

That was so beautiful. Thank you so much for helping me remember. I do not know who sang the first song. But the second one was very popular from Whitney Houston.

I will try to remember the good times. In fact, yesterday I called a friend, whose brother in sick and she was very close with Alex and his family and we were remembering some funny things that Alex used to do. It was nice to laugh for a a change.

Thank you again for the advice.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[kayc]

Jeannie,

Yes, the "firsts" are tough, but then when a year has passed, it helps to know we've endured all of the "firsts without" and although grieving continues, at least the "first" are done. I think most of us remember our "firsts"...my first Birthday without George came and went and no one even said "Happy Birthday" to me, no one called, no cards, no presents, nothing...it was such a stark contrast to what I was used to because George always made a big deal about it, he lived up every holiday and event to the fullest. Our first anniversary after he passed was hard too, we had ordered something very special to us for our gift to each other (a long story I won't go in to) and there it sat...I didn't know how to deal with the day. But somehow, I got through it.

How we get through it is one day at a time, one foot in front of another, keeping busy...

I wish you the best and pray that this anniversary will flood you with love at the memory of so many years with the love of your life.

With love,

KayC

[JeanneC]

Kay:

You are right about the stark contrast. People do call, but they call and say "I am sorry", which kind of makes me feel worse. People just don't know how we feel when we lose a spouse. I find a great deal of comfort here and everyone understands what I am going through.

One day you must tell me the anniversary story.

Thank you very much.

Love,

Jeanne