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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Thinking Of New Beginnings


fred

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Hi Friends! I am quite happy to see this new section as it seemed that some of the newer folks to the ¨Loss of Spouses...¨ section were disturbed by the talk of dating and new beginnigs that many of us approaching our second anniversary were starting to feel. At this point (I am at twenty-one months) the feelings of loneliness are overwhelming some of the numerous other emotions I have suffered from. I am not ready for another marriage, yet, but now and then it would be nice to spend a day or an evening talking with someone or going for a walk or sharing dinner. Before I found this site and all of you rescued me, a young friend had talked me into signing on to an online dating site. All of my emotions were too raw and I found the experience actually frightening. Little by little I have gradually become more comfortable with the idea of sharing my life again and am now on three of the online sites (technically four, but my first choice was so bad as to be worse than worthless). Unfortunately, it doesn´t seem that these sites work quite as well as they advertise, or maybe it is just that no one is really interested in me. Whatever the case, does anyone have any good suggestions. The Christianmingle.com site that Derek recommended is the most promising, but as I have only been on there a week, perhaps I just need to be patient.

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Fred, I think the most important thing is not to push it. If it is meant to be it will come. I think sometimes people are so "hungry" for the attention we miss that they try to hurry things along and scare people away. I haven't even begun to think about anything like this but at some point I am sure that I too would just like to have a night of companionship. I have a friend who in the second year started dating one of her daughter's high school friends dad who was also widowed. They go out to eat once in a while and he helps her sometimes with her yard and stuff. Before he came along she would barely leave the house, so it has been very good for her.

Just keep looking and when/if the right person comes along you will know it. I'm sure Jersey has lots of eligible women. Like we told Karenb though be careful because there are some not too nice people out there too. I know men can take a little better care of themselves physically but you have to watch for the emotions too.

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