Really Missing The Kisses

[mlg]

I have really been in a funk this afternoon. One of our last patients today was a lady who had a stroke about a year ago. Her husband brought her in a wheelchair and we put her in a room. It is cold here today so she had on 2 jackets and a sweatshirt. I had to take her blood pressure so we had to get her arm out of all the sleeves on one side. After I got her blood pressure taken and her husband and I got everything back on he asked if there was anything else he could do. She looked him straight in the eye and the glance between them reminded me of the glance Tom and I used to have. She then said I wouldn't mind a little kiss and he gave her one. All I have been able to think about since is that since my girls were little anytime we wanted a kiss we'd go to the person and sing a little song about "Give me a little kiss, will you huh...., I love you." I've been singing it all afternoon but he isn't here to give me that kiss. I am just missing him so much. Better close because the tears are flowing and I can't see what I've written.

[kath]

I know.

[MikeC]

Now you've got me tearing up, Mary Linda. It is so unfair that memories of sweet little things that once brought us so much joy can evoke such feelings of deep sadness.

Mike

[kayc]

Mary Linda,

I know. I try not to think about those things anymore, it's too hard. What I miss the very most in having George hold me, I felt so comforted, so safe, so loved. I never have that feeling anymore, that feeling of protectiveness and caring, but sometimes I feel just an inkling of it when I think about him and the fact that he still loves me. I bet he wishes he could reach me just as bad and I wish I could reach him, but with a difference, he has a different perspective now, not so finite, but he realizes that time as we know it here is relevant and that he will have all of eternity with me.

Those kisses...they kept us going...

[JeanneC]

Oh Mary Linda:

I know how you feel. I miss Alex's kisses, but I especially miss the hugs I used to get.

Hange in there.

Love,

Jeanne

[marsha]

Mary Linda - I agree with Kay - it's so hard I have to turn my mind away. I had to bring Joe's death certificate to our cable company today to transfer the account to my name. Needless to say, I had a bad drive home. I feel like i'm erasing him from the physical world. But he remains so in my heart. Sometimes I feel like I've gone past grief, and am turning into stone. Joe and I were always hugging and kissing - that's what people wrote in their sympathy cards, because that's what they saw. Now I'm just a tough momma trying to make my way. Well, they say we need 15 hugs a day or so, so here's one cyber hug for you - Marsha

[KathyG]

Bill used to tell me five to 10 times a day that he loved me and I'd hug him and answer, "That's good, because I love you." Sometimes he would say, "You must think I'm a broken record," but I always replied, "I will never get tired of hearing you love me, no matter how many times you tell me." And I never did.

I know he still loves me, but I wish I could hear those words today. When Bill was here, no matter how bad or hard things got, his optimism and encouragement always made me feel like we'd come through OK. Now I just have to gut it out and do the best I can without my protector and cheerleader.

Tomorrow, it will be one year since I kissed him goodbye for the last time. I felt like my heart was breaking then and I feel even more broken now.

[kayc]

Kathy,

I'm sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I remember when I hit that one year anniversary being glad that all the "firsts without" were over with, well most of them anyway. We're all here for you. Hugs...

KayC

[missingcharlie]

Hugs and kisses are absolutely one of the things I miss most! His laugh is another thing I really miss - he had the cutest laugh when he was really "tickled" about something.

I could go on about the things I miss about him, but I'm sure all of you are feeling the same way.

HUGS to all of you!!!

Patti