My Sweetheart Is Gone..

[Azarae]

I'm Karla...I operate a bird & small animal sanctuary from my home. My main focus has been the birds since there are no other rescues for them in my area,

I've read thru so many posts...as a previous dog & cat owner I grieved & cried along with the stories...I'm not sure, but I don't think I saw one bird owner here so I may be the "lone birdlady" so to speak.

2 years ago, I researched some & decided to buy a bird. A Quaker to be specific. I found a breeder & set up a date to see her baby birds.

I fell asleep on the way there(3 hours) & woke up to the car stopping at the casino parking lot 10 minutes from the breeders house. I was SO mad, I told my husband that I had 5 dollars & when it was gone we were leaving!!

I stopped at the first .25 machine I found, stuffed in the bill & pulled 3 times...I won $1400.00 & drug my husband out of there a.s.a.p after I was paid...I told him we had to go get my "lucky" bird!!

At the breeders I was horrified. 12 of those poor babies were stuffed into a tiny cage just overflowing with poop, dirty water & no food in the bowls...I ran out to the car about to be sick..when I looked up my husband was getting in--WITH a quaker!!

I was mad..but she was the smallest. She became my Kyra belle..& I vowed to only rescue not buy from a breeder because of those conditions...the laws protect cats & dogs more than birds in the area of what is considered "cruel"...it's so sad.

It took work, but she grew to love me & only me. She would holler "I love you, what'cha doin??" when I came home & loved to play peek-a-boo & have her feet tickled...

A week ago I fell asleep on the couch & Kyra's cage is only a few feet from there. She must have flown to be with me & got trapped under the covers & smothered to death by her own "mommy".

I stayed with her after I buried her..the first night almost made me insane to leave my baby in the cold dark ground alone. I know it was an accident but oh how I miss her....the other birds call her particlar squawk & wait to hear it back, but it doesn't come...we are all so sad.

Sometimes I think I will never stop crying...of course I don't bother telling anyone..."It's just a bird!" is all I would hear.

Thank you for reading my babble, I will try & sleep some now...it's been almost impossible since I killed her....I have nightmares of the look of her when I found her.

Karla B. & flock.

[MY DARLING MINKY- GIRL]

Dear KYRA BELLE' S, MOMMY, KARLA,

IT IS CAROLE, HERE AT, 3.50 PM HERE IN LIVERPOOL, UK

It is unbearable to lose any pet we have loved and cared for, even it is for just one minute, every little pet, is precious and with its own unique personality, which grows with each day, as you show it love .every living creature, has it's own persoanlity, some huger than others, even chickens are extremely caring and loving to each other,,,,, and pigs, play like puppies, if they have this chance.... even when one of my two fish, died I was so very upset.....knowing the one I still have, was not expected to live, and has had to adjust to being alone.They had done everything together.... so there is no such thing as " JUST A ........."

THEY MORE YOU LOVE AND SHARE THEIR LIVES, THE MORE IT HURTS, WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER WITH YOU. EVERY INCH IS A MEMORY , WHICH CAUSES GRIEF,

I have devoted my whole adult life to all my pets, and have been through huge grief, over and over,,,, and it never gets any easier..FOR ME,they are all missed and remembered forever, like your special darling, Kyra Belle..... you must all be so very sad...I know, especially the way she died,,, BUT YOU LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH, THAT WAS MUCH MORE THAN SHE MAY HAVE EVER HAD IN HER LIFE.....YOU MADE HER LIFE SO SPECIAL, AND SHE RETURNED HER LOVE TO YOU, WITH ALL HER WEENY HEART, SHE SOUNDS SO LOVELY, AND SHE WAS YOUR *LUCKY-BIRDIE * WHERE SHE WAS LOVED SO VERY MUCH.

,,the only thing that keeps me going is, THE HOPE THAT WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN, EVENTUALLY.

SINCE MY TWO KITTIES,ESPECIALLY THE UNEXPECTED DEATH OF MY YOUNG LOVING PAL, ** MY MINKY**, WHO DIED THE WEEK AFTER MY TEDDY, HAS ROCKED MY WHOLE WORLD RIGHT NOW, AND FOREVER . BOTH TRAGICALLY DIED IN SEPTEMBER THIS YEAR, I HAVE FOUND A SITE, WHERE EVERY STORY AND POEM ( LAST NIGHT , WAS VERY TOUCHING ) EVERY SINGLE STORY IS SO TOUCHING, EVEN ABOUT PRECIOUS LITTLE BIRDS ********OF COURSE !!!

****PETWHISPERS.COM ******** I HAVE READ EVERY SINGLE STORY AND POEM

BEST WISHES, AND I KNOW HOW PAINFUL YOUR GRIEF IS, HOPE YOU ARE COPING FAR BETTER THAN I AM XXXXX KEEP UP YOUR SPECIAL CARE, FOR YOUR LUCKY *FLOCK* OF NEEDY ONES, XX

[sunstreet]

Karla,

I am so so sorry for your loss of your precious Kyra Belle. How very difficult and tragic when anyone of our precious pet soul's die. I too feel some guilt over the death of my beloved "Street" cat, as he was only five when he died. I was so focused on my older beloved cat "Sunshine", who had multiple health issues that took a lot of my time. At the same time dealing with my Father's Alzheimer's disease and wanting to see him as much as possible while he still knew who I was. I feel like I neglected my poor "Street" never even entertaining the idea that he would die, he was only five after all. I keep going over in my mind, what did I miss? I should have known he was not well, why didn't I know?

Karla, we can make ourselves sick, if we grab onto the guilt as a personal friend. Instead I encourage you to feel the guilt, then let it go, it was a tragic accident, no fault of your's, and your beloved Kyra Belle, died next to his Mommy, feeling your warmth, your love. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself.

I applaud you for choosing to only rescue instead of buying. And no, I am one person who knows that your beloved Kyra Belle, was not just a bird, he was your beloved Kyra Belle a precious bird soul.

Take good care,

Sunstreet