Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Music


Chai

Recommended Posts

For 57 years, playing the piano has brought me back to my center through all sorts of turmoil--good and bad. (Isn't it interesting how the passage of time can change the verdict on what ultimately is "bad" and what ultimately is "good"?

Right now I'm hard at work on Alberto Ginastera's "Dance of the Fugitive Cowboy," a journey of wild desperation and energy that ends in descending major chords and a double glissando. A Very Exciting Work in which the hombre excapes!

So pull out your stringed lyre or Indian flute, etc. and create your own music!

Karen MH

Dear Karen,

I love to hear how you find music healing in your grief process, but for you, you are creating music. That is wonderful! You can choose a song according to how you are feeling, or whatever song you are learning to play can helpyou feel better. "The Fugitive Cowboy" sounds very uplifting, fun and sortof like an adrenaline rush! Also, I must congratulate you on being able to stick to a practice like that for 57 years; it takes time and patience and energy.

I used to play piano, but I quit when I was 12, silly me, because I didn't like to practice. I wanted to skip "The Entertainer" and go straight to Beethoven! I do ocassionally piddle around on the piano downstairs in the lobby room, though, and there is something very peaceful about it. It forces me to focus on one thing, and really get into the music. When I'm done with school I hope to go back to piano and really re-learn the basics so that I can move, in order, and eventually be able to play some of the famous composers' songs.

:) Thank you for sharing!

I just was listening to Enya yet again, and this song at first made me sad, because my dad will never be "home" again. But then I thought, well, what if home is in the spiritual realm? Then, my dad is home. And as for the "wish" made in moonlight, I would like to think our loved ones are wishing for our happiness, and blessing us. Or, alternately, the "wish" made is the idea that our loved ones, though away from us, are happy where they are and have attained their dreams.

So, I see these lyrics from the point of view of our loved ones, not us:

"On My Way Home" by Enya

I have been given

one moment from heaven

as I am walking

surrounded by night,

Stars high above me

make a wish under moonlight.

On my way home

I remember

only good days.

On my way home

I remember all the best days.

I'm on my way home

I can remember

every new day.

I move in silence

with each step taken,

snow falling round me

like angels in flight,

Far in the distance

is my wish under moonlight.

Chai

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 71
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Dearest Chai,

Yes! You understand exactly the joy of making music: I choose what feeds me at the moment. "The Dance of the Fugitive Cowboy" is an amazing adrenaline rush. In fact it was an encore at the Aspen Music Festival. I started learning it in July--five months before Sid died. Of course, at the time I didn't realize that the music was helping my spirit and body keep going on the earth while his was fading into heaven...

In between playing "Fugitive" I love to work on some Mozart and Beethoven, my all time favorite composers. Their compositions (even the same ones!) have nourished me since I was in college! Time and practice IS required; and chiefly, two things make that happen: 1.) I enjoy what I'm learning; and 2.) periodically I have a reason to play for others--like Christmas music for a group, liturgy, my family, friends; a concert at the college where I taught; a funeral Mass; a service at the synagogue. a recital at the theatre, etc.

From Sid's life-after-life experience 20 years ago, I have learned (in Sid's words) that "heaven cannot be described in any human way. The peace, love, warmth are beyond all human communication."

Your dad and Sid ARE AT HOME and very possibly are up there right now smiling at each other and at us: loving our whole conversation about them.

Shalom (the Peace that Surpasses All Understanding)

Karen MH

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So true Chai music is amazing!!!! my dad was a huge partier and was the life of every party... his favourite band was The Beatles and now everytime i listen to them i think of my dad and i smile, music helps me grieve and will always be one of the most important things in my life. I also am now the life of every party when im up dancin, chattin up everyone, makin people laugh and everytime i do stuff like that i feel really close to my dad because he did the same and i feel like i really belong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Vickie O'Neil

Music is so wonderful, has anyone heard Skyline Pigeon by Elton John? The grooves are worn out on that Vinyl for I listened to it so many times after my Dad dyed,,,turn me loose from your hands, & I always played my Dad's old Military music, too, "The Caissons go Rolling Along"...Dad expected me to go Rolling along...keep moving!

For my Pat I play his country music...Lscy J. Dalton "The Last Wild place" , Emmy Lou.."One of these Days", & old Hank Williams.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I read and listen to all of your wonderful songs, 2 come to mind for me. The first is the saddest as I never really listened to it until after my Mother's passing. It is sung by favorite female singer, Celine Dion. I wish I had listened earlier, as I feel I may have behaved differently when it was needed. The second made me cry the first time I heard it and this is when my Mom was still with us and now, I can only listen when I am alone. It tears me up, but I feel it also helps me to heal. The song is by David Cook and it is about his older brother who is struggling with brain cancer. You can feel the emotion when you hear it and I feel it is the sweetest honor he could have given his brother. (((Hugs))) to all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg_17ZTRBRQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6PUDlbiEDU

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went to a live music performance on Sunday and saw an Irish duo called The Guggenheim Grotto. After the concert I bought their new cd entitled "Happy the Man" which includes the following song. I don't have a link to the music, but I got these lyrics from their web site. This song is anything but uplifting - in fact I cried when I heard it on the cd. It describes how I feel exactly.

Heaven Has A Heart

heroes get forgotten

good men overthrown

I found true love

then I lost my love

so I’ll carry out my days alone

but I won’t parade my sorrows

we all have our own tunes to moan

but here is a truth

that everyone must swallow

heaven has a heart of stone

build your castles with diamonds and marble and steel

and you get knocked down

live your life with compassion and humility

still you get knocked down

I’m not saying

‘don’t fall in love... don’t reach for the stars...’

but everyone should know

that heaven has a heart of stone

and you can want it with every fibre of your being

but how it plays out in the end is never sure

my baby got so thin I didn’t know her

then she slipped away for evermore

and what’s another grain of sorrow upon the world

with nations of people reduced to ashes and bone?

still, what kind of heaven gives you something then

takes it from you?

a heaven with a heart of stone

build your castles with diamonds and marble and steel

and you get knocked down

live your life with compassion and humility

still you get knocked down

I’m not saying

‘don’t fall in love... don’t reach for the stars...’

but everyone should know

if heaven has a heart

then heaven has a heart of stone

Mike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, Mike ~ what a powerful song. I found it on YouTube, here:

Would you be willing to add it to our list on our Grief Songs Web page? If so, go here, http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/blog/?p=41 then scroll down to the bottom of the page, where it says Leave a Message. Be sure to include the song title, the artist, and the YouTube link. (You don't need to put anything in the space that asks for your Web site.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Oh, wow. These songs everyone is sharing are so beautiful and amazing! So very touching. ;_; I love them. Ah, they are so special. Wow.

Karen MH, I love how happy you are when you talk about music. :) It makes me happy. Thank you for the excellent tips! I love the image of your Sid and my dad sitting up there smiling down on us... :wub:

rugbyboy7, those are special moments when we can feel like our dads are with us. :)

I love all these songs you are all sharing. Thank you thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I have four songs off the top of my head, happy and sad, that came to mind when I read this thread.... I like to bold the lines that really strike meaning to me....

1) "Into the West" by Annie Lennox

Lay down

Your sweet and weary head

Night is falling

You have come to journey's end

Sleep now

And dream of the ones who came before

They are calling

From across a distant shore

Why do you weep?

What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see

All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms

You're only sleeping

What can you see

On the horizon?

Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea

A pale moon rises

The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn

To silver-glass

A light on the water

All souls pass

Hope fades

Into the world of night

Through shadows' falling

Out of memory and time

Don't say

We have come now to the end

White shores are calling

You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms

Just sleeping

What can you see

On the horizon?

Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea

A pale moon rises

The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn

To silver-glass

A light on the water

Grey ships pass

Into the West

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2) "May It Be" by Enya Click Here to Listen

May it be an evening star

Shines down upon you

May it be when darkness falls

Your heart will be true

You walk a lonely road

Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utulie (darkness has come)

Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)

A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call

Will fly away

May it be you journey on

To light the day

When the night is overcome

You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utulie (darkness has come)

Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)

A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3) "Heaven Forbid" by Click Here to Listen

Twenty years it's breaking you down, now that you understand there's no one around.

Take a breath, just take a seat, you're falling apart and tearing at the seams.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and you don't know why.

Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It's on your face, is it on your mind, would you care to build a house of your own.

How much longer, how long can you wait, It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and you don't know why

Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Heaven forbid you end up alone, and you don't know why

Hold on tight wait for tomorrow and you'll be alright

It feels good. (Is that reason enough for you.)

It feels good. (Is that reason enough for you.)

It feels good. (Is that reason enough for you.)

It feels good. (Is that reason enough for you.)

Heaven forbid you end up alone and you don't know why

Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Heaven forbid you end up alone and you don't know why

Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Out of this one

Don't know how to get you out of this one, don't know how to get you out of this one,

Don't know how to get you out of this one, don't know how to get you out of this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4) "Needle and Thread" by Sleeping At Last

When the world welcomes us in,

We're closer to Heaven than we'll ever know

They say this place has changed,

But strip away all of the technology

And you will see

That we all are hunters,

Hunting for something

That will make us okay.

Here we lay alone

In hospital beds tracing life in our heads

But all that is left

Is that this was our entrance and now it's our exit,

As we find our way home.

And all the blood and all the sweat

That we invested to be loved

Follows us, into our end,

Where we begin to understand.

We are made of love,

And all the beauty stemming from it.

We are made of love,

And every fracture caused by the lack of it.

"You were a million years of work,"

Said God and His angels, with needle and thread.

They kissed your head and said,

"You're a good kid, and you make us proud.

So just give your best and the rest will come,

And we'll see you soon."

And all the blood and all the sweat

That we invested to be loved,

Follows us into our end

We begin to understand

Maybe Hollywood was right:

When the credits have rolled and the tears have dried,

And the answers that we have been dying to find

Are all pieced together and, somehow,

Made perfectly mine, mine, mine

Made perfectly mine

We are made of love,

And all the beauty stemming from it.

We are made of love,

And every fracture caused by the lack of love.

Caused by the lack of love

I guess that's enough for now. Music has been, is, and always will be my outlet. I sang at my father's funeral somehow without breaking down....it was so comforting to me to know I could still sing with this broken heart, because I thought, for a few days, that I would never want to sing again. But I see now that music somehow makes me feel alive, reminds me that I'm not alone, and I know my Daddy smiles on me for loving music so much.

But this all reminds me, I have one more song before I go to bed, it's the one I sang at his funeral:

5) "Someone's Wathcing Over Me" by Hilary Duff

I found myself today,

Oh I found myself and ran away,

something pulled me back,

Voice of reason I forgot I had,

All I know is your not here to say,

What you always used to say,

But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up,

no I won't break down,

sooner than it seems life turns around,

and I will be strong

even if it all goes wrong,

when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe,

someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light,

and it's shining on my destiny

shining all the time

and I won't be afraid

to follow everywhere it"s taking me

all I know is yesterday is gone

and right now I belong

to this moment, to my dreams

So I won't give up,

no I wont' break down,

sooner than it seems life turns around,

and I will be strong

even if it all goes wrong

when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say

and it doesn't matter how long it takes

believe in yourself and you'll fly, high,

and it only matters how true you are

be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up,

no I wont' break down,

sooner than it seems life turns around,

and I will be strong

even if it all goes wrong

when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe...

That I won't give up,

no I wont' break down,

sooner than it seems life turns around,

and I will be strong

even when it all goes wrong

when I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe....

that someone's watching over

someone's watching over

someone's watching over me

~Courtney

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Courtney,

Thank you so much for sharing those beautiful songs! I really feel that Annie Lennox's "Into the West" especially stirs my heart. :)

I think the ideas you bolded are very important, too.

- Chai

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my, Kathy ~ You certainly did attach it correctly, and now you've left me sitting here in tears. The line, "I sure miss you, but Heaven's sweeter with you there" really got me. Just beautiful! :wub:

Would you consider adding this one to our list of recommended songs on our Grief Songs Web page? Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, and just follow the instructions there. (There is no need to put anything in the Website box. Just be sure to include your song's title, artist and YouTube link in the body of your post there, just as you did here.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I find this one that expresses how I feel. I put together a slide presentation for my mom using this song. Titled " I Sure Miss You". I hope that I attached this correctly.

Marty, I posted this on the Web Page that you requested. I hope that I did it correctly. Thank you for allowing me to share it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HI everyone

I haven't noticed this song mentioned anywhere yet. Thank you, Marty, for the beautiful music web site! There are many, many songs there that I relate to personally....I have what I call "Power songs" that I usually only hear when I need to, for many different reasons (relationships, work issues, family....and now, grief....)

We had Brooks and Dunn's "I Believe" played at Daddy's service last week. It's always been one of my mom's favorites, and she felt it truly represented how they both believed. Today, just a little while ago, I was doing some reading on the couch while finishing up laundry w/ CMT playing in the background. They have a show on, the 100 greatest videos, showing snippets of the videos w/ commentary from the artists, directors, and others.....

"I Believe" came on. I stopped what I was doing, expecting to burst into tears. I didn't. And the washing machine, which is loud and noisy and near the tv, stopped and there was complete silence, right on the line "You can't tell me that it all ends with a slow ride in a hearse......" I knew right there that Dad was around. It was quite comforting.

Music, indeed, is the universal comforter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLA06UmFg0s

Old man Wrigley lived in that white house

Down the street where i grew up

Momma used to send me over with things

We struck a friendship up

I spent a few long summers out on his old porch swing

Says he was in the war when in the navy

Lost his wife, lost his baby

Broke down and asked him one time

How ya keep from going crazy

He said I'll see my wife and son in just a little while

I asked him what he meant

He looked at me and smiled, said

[Chorus]

I raise my hands, bow my head

I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red

They tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see

Oh i believe

Few years later i was off at college

Talkin' to mom on the phone one night

Getting all caught up on the gossip

The ins and outs of the small town life

She said oh by the way son, old man Wrigley's died.

Later on that night, i laid there thinkin' back

Thought 'bout a couple long-lost summers

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh

If there was ever anybody deserved a ticket to the other side

It'd be that sweet old man who looked me in the eye, said

[Chorus]

I raise my hands, bow my head

I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red

They tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see

I can't quote the book

The chapter or the verse

You can't tell me it all ends

In a slow ride in a hearse

You know I'm more and more convinced

The longer that i live

Yeah, this can't be

No, this can't be

No, this can't be all there is

[Chorus]

When I raise my hands, bow my head

I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red

They tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see

I believe

Oh, I

I believe

I believe

I believe

I believe

I believe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Towee, dear, this song is simply beautiful, and I hope you'll consider adding it to our list of recommended songs on our Grief Songs Web page. Just scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, and follow the instructions there. (There is no need to put anything in the Website box. Just be sure to include your song's title, the recording artist, and the YouTube link in the body of your post there, just as you did here.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I'd like to share a song called 'Landslide' by Fleetwood Mac, whenever i hear this now i think of my mum and everything i've gone through, it;s always nice to hear someone else has felt what you have felt or share the same experience or perspective.

I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills

till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love

Can the child within my heart rise above

Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides

Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, Ive been afraid of changing

cause Ive built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

Im getting older too

Oh, take my love, take it down

Climb a mountain and turn around

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well the landslide will bring it down

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well maybe the landslide will bring it down

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So...I was wondering...anybody else having any experiences with music and how it is affecting/helping you in your grief? I was wondering if anyone had any more songs they could share...

"Let Go, Let God" by Olivia Newton-John on her Grace and Gratitude Album... It helps me ..........

YOU TUBE LINK TO SONG

When you can't find your direction

And your heart won't guide you home

Let Go

Let God

When your dreams are broken in the dust

And you've lost the will to trust

Let Go

Let God

Let the signs remind you

We are passengers

Let the signs remind you

To surrender

To surrender

Let Go and Let God

When faith's a dying fire

And there's no spark to feed the flame

Let Go and Let God

When your courage fails you

And the well of hope runs dry

Let Go and Let God

Let the signs remind you

We are passengers

Let the signs remind you

To surrender

To surrender

Let Go and Let God

Let the signs remind you

We are passengers

Let the signs remind you

To surrender

To surrender

Let Go and Let God

Let Go and Let God

Let Go

And let God.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 6 months later...

Thanks everybody for sharing all of these special songs. Music was a huge part of my fiancee's life. He played guitar, banjo, and mandolin and wrote beautiful songs. But my best (and saddest) memory occurred shortly after we met. I was in Boston for the weekend and Brian called me on the phone. He played and sang "Song for Ireland." It is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard and I knew that I was falling in love with this man. He sang it to me many more times during our 3 1/2 years together. I listen to Dick Gaughin's version (which is probably the best next to Brian's) almost every day in my car and my tears flow. I also have a CD on which Brian and some friends performed the so "Bread of Life" by John Michael Talbot. He starts the song off playing guitar and singing by himself. It is such a treasure to have this gift. For Brian's memorial service my sister put together some CDs with his favorite songs (he has a passion for celtic music) and I play these CDs daily. I just miss him so much and try to find any connections I can. Sadly, the songs he wrote are mostly lost because he didn't write/read music but played by ear. Although we have the lyrics, we are not able to replicate the music. I'm hopeful that our church has audio copies of some of the services where he played his songs. I would love to hear them now.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

Song for Ireland

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chai, what a great topic! I have missed talking to you :-(

Wow, amazing songs and lyrics, brought a lot of tears, but they are gentle healing ones ...

here's my selection:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keED-eCum20&feature=related (this reminds me of when I told Cliff it was ok to sleep, that I would be alright and he didn't have to worry about anything, that I loved him and always would, that I wouldn't leave him for a second ... as he died) I used to sing it a lot in happier times but it always choked me even before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFRm2srRC64 (I chose this for his funeral, and always sang it to him ... many many happy memories too ... it sums us up v well as a couple)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpgY5S3AcSw&feature=fvst (Cliff always played this to me)

(apt now)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVLsETDwfWQ&feature=PlayList&p=3AFDE0E2E2DC867F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=37 (my friend sent this link to me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL23cb5SaBg (we got married to this one)

http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-time-is-now-lyrics-moloko.html (I play this a lot now, and manage to smile instead of sob)

(oh dear, that's set me off)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK1CGsUi6w4 (strongly identify with this right now, and tend to think of him as a cosmos mariner these days)

(no explanation needed)

and here are the lyrics to Joe Cocker's "The Great Divide" which I chose to play at his funeral - it summed up (still does) just how I felt/feel:

Nights are long

And the wind is howling down

Into the hollows

Somewhere deep inside

I can hear you calling out

Across the great divide

Right or wrong there's a feeling in my heart

I try to follow

But lately i just hide

And my dream of someday crawling out

To cross this great divide

Isolation

Heart like a drum

And the beating is wearing me down

Standing at the station

But the train never comes

Still I'm hanging on

Like some old ghost town

Miles to go but I see that one way out

Stars in the distance

Skies are open wide

Waiting for my soul to rise

Above this great divide

Desperation

Is a dangerous blade

In a reckless and trembling hand

Sweet salvation

Just a thin line away

I should cut and run

But I'll make my stand

Nights are long

But I'll close my eyes again

Until tomorrow

Slip the bonds and ride

Touch the face I long to see

Above this great divide

We'll be all We long to be

Beyound this great divide

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...