PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hi all,Ooops, I'm feeling sorry for myself again. Today is my birthday. I did have a few friends call and a friend took me out to lunch. But it just isn't the same. I'm so sad tonight and crying like a baby. I miss my husband sooooo much.My husband always brought me a dozen red roses on my birthday. We usually stayed home because the weather this time of year was so bad. But he always made it a special time together. It just seems like holidays, birthdays, etc. make the grieving so much worse. I just can't stand this life without him. I had it so good and now he's gone. I should be doing better...actually I thought I had but the holidays have caused me to regress back into the intense crying.I'm ashamed that I feel sorry for myself. I was so blessed to have had such a wonderful relationship.But tonight I feel bad...I'll do better tomorrow...and even better after the holidays.Thanks for listening. Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Pat, I just want you to know that I read your post, and it's certainly understandable that you're feeling sorry for yourself tonight. I want to wish you a Happy Birthday anyway, and when you go to bed tonight, I wish you pleasant dreams of Walter, and roses on your pillow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hi Pat, let me wish you a Happy Birthday! I know its hard without him on your birthday. I'm glad you have the good memories. The holidays are pretty tough from those of us who have lost the one we love. Your not feeling sorry for yourself, you are grieving and thats okay. Take care of yourself and pace yourself through this holiday. I wish for you some peace on this birthday and the upcoming holiday. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Thanks Marty. That's so sweet! Kind words really do help.Thanks Deborah for your nice wishes. I don't feel so alone now! Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hi.... It's sure a hard time of the year and your birthday, too. As they say it will pass, but we just have to go with it. You've made it this far....it'll be fine...we're with you. I am sorry it hurts so much but just know IT WILL BE BETTER IN TIME. Just do what you've been doing so far.....add a few things here and there....stay in good company, eat well, sleep, whatever it is you need to do. Just try to stay healthy. Please take care.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Pat, I wish I could send you a dozen roses! Happy Birthday! Know that your friends here are thinking of you, I know it's hard, I'm feeling blue too and crying, you aren't alone. I wish we could all turn back the clock, we'd be so happy. I have no idea what this "emotion" but I just have to use it, maybe it'll make you smile! Love,KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeC Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 I'm sorry you are having such a bad night. The holidays are hitting me pretty hard, too - this is my first Christmas without my wife. I am going to wish you a happy birthday anyway, Pat, and also wish you better days in the weeks ahead.Happy Birthday, Pat!Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hi Karen,Yes, I'll endure and as I said, tomorrow will be better. But sometimes it feels like I'm walking along and suddenly I have fallen into a hole and have to climb out again. You know the feeling.Thanks for caring.Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 KayC,Your little "emotion" cracked me up. It makes me think that I should put duct tape over my head and mouth! Thanks for making me chuckle.Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Awww Mike, thank you for your birthday wish! Your wife looked like such a dear, sweet lady. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is tough on holidays. I have a book called, "A Decembered Grief, Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating" by Harold Ivan Smith. I should get it out and read it. Take care,Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 I'm going to call it a night. Hopefully next birthday I will be able to deal with it better. Thank you one and all for helping me through this evening! It really made a difference. I'm so grateful to you. Sending you all hugs and warm thoughts!!Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shhh65 Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Roses.docPat,Happy Birthday...it's not midnight yet. I tried to attached a vase of red roses but not sure it worked. You know what they say about the thought counting. So here's a ((((PattyAnn)))) instead if it doesn't show up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vickie O'Neil Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Happy Birthday PattyAnn,Here are my bouquets, a Dozen Red Roses, a Dozen Lilac,,,for the Saggittarius, & another Dozen Yellow for your Brave Heart!Warn Hugs from Arizona, & Happy Birthday, Honey.Vickie O'Neil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Happy birthday from far away.My husband use to bring me red roses for my birthday also.I just dont like them anymore.I feel the same and trying to get over the hollydays with less pain.TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Vickie,I enjoyed your bouquet of flowers. I did not realize yellow symbolized brave heart. I don't know that I am brave. Guess we have no choice but to go through these things. Thanks for your kind thoughts.Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Teny,Thank you for your message. You must have loved your husband so much and I am sorry you feel such sorrow. For those of us who were lucky to have wonderful spouses it is difficult to get through holidays without them. My heart is with you. Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Patty,I guess Sherry is a little more computer literate than I am. I had tried to send you roses too but they wouldn't paste. I don't know why I didn't think I couldn't send a Happy Birthday without them . I had a really bad day yesterday and guess my brain just wasn't connecting. I do hope you had as good a day as you could and that there were some happy moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyAnn Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Mary Linda,Thank you for your good wishes. Sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Are you o.k. today?Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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