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Missing My Mom

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t's been 1 year and a little over 8 months since my mom has past. I'm doing better with my grief but some days are better than others. I still find myself crying at my desk sometimes when I think about her, she's in my thoughts every day. My great nephew had his 1 year shots done yesterday and a memory popped into my head of my mom taking me for my kindergarten shots and her having to carry me home cuz I wouldn't walk lol She was such a great mother, she raised us kids by herself and never complained about it. What a strong person she was. I see my mom in my nephew, she always wanted a great grandkid and wanted to be alive to see it, the only way she knew was by me whispering in her ear when she was in a coma, I said mom, you're going to be a great grandma and her eyes moved inside so fast, I wish I could have told her while she was alert but we didn't find out soon enough and in a way, it might have broke her heart knowing she wouldn't be around for him. BUT we did go shopping for quilt material 2 months before she died and she said to me, I'm going to pick out material for the great grandkid I'll never know. So now we have all this quilt stuff and nobody knows how to quilt!! lol Mom couldn't start any of the quilts because the last round of chemo she was on wrecked her hands, her poor hands were so sore, it looked like 3rd degree burns on them, the bottoms of her feet were the same way. God I miss her so much, good thing I'm going to therapy today :)

Anyway, that's just a little rant I needed to say, I hope everyone is doing well.


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  • 4 weeks later...

I had a hard time as well watching my mom as she fought cancer. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffer that much and there is nothing you can do to fix it. I truely believe that God chooses your child for you and I hope that our parents get to meet them in Heaven before we have them here on Earth. My husband and I are planning to start trying soon to have another child and that is so hard to think about mom not being here with me and meeting him or her. I just hope she gets to meet them before we do!

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Dear Dawn,

My heart and prayers are with you. Your mother has a beautiful, joyful radiance to her in that picture you shared with us. :) Just lovely. Also, I think it is so sweet and special that you got go out and buy that quilt material with her. Now your child can have a quilt made with patterns picked out by his/her beloved grandmother.

Cancer is a terrifying thing...I can't believe how quickly it can damage the body. My poor dad lost the use of his hands for the most part, too, and it was so scary to see this guy who I used to watch write in a notebook all the time, unable to even turn a page...

I'm not someone who has children yet, but I agree with the sentiment of wishing for the impossible, that my father could have met any future children I may have. So the sadness that is in your post in that regard, it stirs me.

take care,


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