bEcKa_00 Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 I probably think way to much about so many things, my dad always told me that lol On March 8 it will be 2yrs. since my father passed away and I am struggling with facing this day. I can't believe that much time has passed because the morning my father passed away is so vivid in my mind. I can remember everything that happened on that morning.....Since that day I have moved to AZ, became engaged and am finishing my degree. I am trying to move on with my life, even though it is extremely hard, but these past few weeks have been more of a struggle than ever before. My emotions are running crazy, I cry myself to sleep, I get frustrated easy and I feel as if I'm becomin somewhat depressed. I don't know if it's because his ann. is coming up or if I'm just getting overwhelmed with everything happening this year. I talk to my mom almost every day, I try to call my brother & sisters often, I talk with my fiance but there is always something that seems to be missing. I don't know maybe I should just deal or be stronger. I don't like feeling overwhelmed or depressed and I can't seem to get his under control..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Becka It could be just as you said.. everything that has happened this year. You have been through at least two of the top 10 stressors in a short time. (Experiencing a loss and moving) That alone could make one feel overwhelmed! I was thinking perhaps you have been so busy with everything... school and adjusting to the move etc.. that maybe now you have a bit more time to reflect on what has happened. This took place with me & with my last significant loss as well. I was super busy dealing with so many things that I barely had time to mourn or grieve. And then once things began to calm down... I felt the loss much more keenly. I would think it is all normal and just part of grief. And naturally most of us feel rather raw too when we are coming up to an anniversary or holiday. And I must admit.. leading UP to the anniversary or holiday is usually a much more difficult time for me than the actual anniversary or holiday turns out to be. I would allow yourself the gift of expressing your grief. And yes I too thought that I was feeling waay worse than I had previously.... but I found it was all just part of it for me. And I'm sure it is for you too. I wouldn't worry about it. I found I did much better just letting my feelings BE whatever they were and not judging them made this most difficult time a wee bit easier.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bEcKa_00 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Thank you for you kind words!! I do believe that what you said is true, because after my fathers passing and when I moved back home things just went nuts for the rest of the year. I mean, I was throwing myself into every possible thing I could...trying to help other people, volunteering, taking 15-20 credits and working full-time. Thinking that if I was helping others and keeping my own life moving than things would get better on there own. I never thought that what I was doing at the time, I was kind of setting myself up for what I'm going through right now - and I'm not sure how to deal with it now. I think none stop about him!! Memories, thoughts, poems we read together, times we spent together, him helping me with my jump-shot..I mean you name it I'm thinking about it. So for me to start dealing with my emotions and feelings now, I'm just not sure how. Other than crying, becoming extrememly emotional over things and having my fiance calm me down..I feel as if I'm just going in circles over and over again. Whether that's part of the grieving process or not, I don't know. I'm trying to figure out how I, me as a person deal with these situations and I'm struggling. I think what it really comes down to is I am struggling, big time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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