Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Recommended Posts

I lost my world on January 6th this year when my husband, aged 52, died from a massive stroke. He was my best friend, my protector and my life. I have been coping fairly well on the surface, by writing his eulogy for him and holding my head high with pride on the day of his funeral. Financially, I am okay, and I have returned to work (on a 4 day week). But, I feel this massive hole in my life and just want him back. I would give my life up, my home just to have him back. I don't want to be in this world anymore because it seems such an ugly place without him. I didn't know that it was possible to physically feel your heart break ... I am simply functioning, not living, and I hurt unbelievably. On the other hand, I feel incredibly blessed and priveleged to have had such a wonderful husband for the past fifteen years. It feels incredibly unfair that he was taken from me. We loved each other so so much and were content with our own company. I feel so alone, and am alone every evening. Weekends are better as I drive down to the town where we used to live to visit his family and our friends. We only have a few friends in this new area, and they are mainly men ... who find it awkward to be around me. Work is my anchor for the time being, but I feel as though my heart is in a vice that is being squeezed. :(
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boo - - I am so sorry about your loss. I, too, lost my husband of 28 years on January 6. He was only 56. Like you and your husband, we loved each other's company and because of his long illness, have few friends in the area. I brought my husband from Phoenix back to his home town, Ft. Worth, to be buried next to his father and to be near his big family and many friends. Our 28th anniversary would have been March 14. I plan to fly to Ft. Worth on that day, just for the day, to spend our anniversary at my husband's grave and to speak with him. Like you, I have never felt such pain. They say it will get better. I certainly hope so for both your sake and mine, because there is no joy in this life with pain this raw. Please keep posting and let me know how you are doing.

Kathy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Kathy

thanks for replying. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and dare I say it, I know how you feel. I think it's good that you are spending your anniversary with his family and to speak with your husband. My husband's birthday is on March 16th, and I haven't yet decided how to cope with that day! Perhaps we were meant to help each other? Strange how we both lost our soulmates on the same day. I live in the UK, and send you my prayers and thoughts. Boo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boo,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. This is the hardest thing I can imagine, but you have found a good site to be at, with other people who have been through it and can understand what you're going through. It's good that you have work to go to, and someplace to be on weekends so you are not alone.

Please keep coming here and expressing yourself, it all helps.

Kay

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Boo and Kathy:

I feel that our lives are a mirror. I also lost my husband of 20 years last June 28, 2008. He was 54 and he died of a heart attack. He did not die immediately. He was in the hospital for 5 months with many ups and downs. He eventually died of sepsus. I am so sorry to hear about both your losses. I am happy that you have found this place to talk about what is going on. I know that it is way too soon since the passing of your husbands. It is still early for me. It will be a year this coming June, but it will get better. There are many people on this site that have lost their spouses a long period of time. They all are wonderful people and have helped me through really rough times. Just reading all the posts will help you somewhat in coping with your grief. My husband and I had no children and like you have very few friends in the immediate area where I live. It is sad that our husbands have died so young. I would have given anything if he could have lived even for another 10 years.

I hope that you both will continue to post here and my prayers are with both of you.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Jeanne, thanks for your reply. I find all these messages really do give me the strength to battle through another day, even if that does sound like a cliche. I too have no children, and really mourn the fact that I couldn't have my husband's child now more than ever. I will post here often and read through others' experiences and try to draw the positives from those. Can I say how sorry I am for your loss and how much I totally empathize with your words, "I would have given anything if he could have lived even for another 10 years" - too true! Sending you love and prayers, Boo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...