Anxiety - Upset Stomach

[Spring2009]

My boyfriend died suddenly three weeks ago at the age of 41 of a heart attack. I've never experienced such pain in m life as in the past three weeks. The first week or so, I think I was in shock. Now, it's just plain sadness. Yesterday, I felt the dark cloud pass for awhile and I felt better than I have yet. Today, I'm back to complete sadness again. I keep telling myself that it's going to get better, but some days I wonder.

I've lost 15 pounds in the last three weeks because my stomach is constantly upset and I have no appetite. I am making myself eat little things throughout the day, because I understand the importance of keeping nutrition in my body. I'm hoping to receive some input about the nausea thing. It starts between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. every day, as soon as I wake up. I have been taking Ambien to sleep at about 10:00 p.m.

When I wake up, my head is spinning with 1000 thoughts and my stomach is upset. I normally try stay in bed as long as I can, trying to go back to sleep. I've tried deep breathing, praying, reciting scriptures in my mind, just to be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes, I'm able to go to sleep for about five minutes, only to wake up again with the nausea. I typically end up getting up about 6:30 or 7:00, after having tossed and turned for 3 hours.

Has anyone (everyone) had this experience? Thank you for being here.

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss. There are people here that will want to be here for you.

Yes, the stress of grief can certainly cause these symptoms...I recently went through a divorce and the last several months of our marriage I had these symptoms too. My guess is it will abate with time, but you might want to mention it to your doctor as prolonged nausea, loss of sleep, etc. can cause some health issues.

You might want to ask a moderator to move this thread to "Loss of a Spouse..." where it will get more attention and replies. Losing a significant other seems to have the same affect, whether married on paper or not.

Kay

[mlg]

Yes, this is normal but if it persists you may want to see about it. For one thing the Ambien may make you nauseous. Are you eating a little someting before you take it?

I don't know about anyone else but for at least the first 3 months I didn't think I'd ever get to sleep before it was time to get up. Then it changed to I could go to sleep but would wake about 3 and couldn't get back to sleep until just before time to get up.

One thing I did find helped was putting the TV timer on for about an hour and I usually can go to sleep. I found out this past Feb when I went to Florida with friends that I could go to sleep without that (this was 13 mos later) because there were other people there with me. When I came home I found for the most part I don't need this crutch any more.

Hang in there.

[loving denny]

i read your story and knew that i had to reply because we are at the exact same place together.i lost denny 3 weeks ago from a heart attack while he was at work, he had just turned 49 march 3,2009. i have the same feelings that you have and i really have found that coming in here helps, and i know that we have our own demons to deal with when we're alone. deny was my life and my bestfriend, my lover, my whole world. i still can't believe that he's gone and i'll never see him again. i don't eat and i don't sleep because i don't have my partner with me, i so miss his presence with me. i never woulld have thought that he wouldn't return from work that day, he seemed to be the picture of health. my heart is completely torn apart and i know just exactly how you feel at this very minute that i write this. remember that i will be here for you if you need someone to listen and i do now that being able to talk about denny helps me in some way....but i wonder just how long this dark road really is. but i'm guessing we're normal, we've had part of our being ripped from us, recovering from that can't be anything close to easy. i am sorry for your loss hun, and i know your pain.........and i am here, i don't know if i can be of any help cuz i'm out there too, but will give it all i have hun.....those racing thoughts, i still have them 24/7 and i hang onto every memory that i have of denny because i never wanna forget. i also sleep with his shirt flannel, because his scent is still there and in an amazing way i find comfort in that. hang on and i wil keep you company through this dark time , i'm not sure if i'm coming or going but i'm still rightthere with you....

[Boo Mayhew]

I'm really glad that your post has been moved to our area of the forum because as Kay says, marriage starts with the heart, not a piece of paper.

Firstly, I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. Your partner was even younger than my husband (he was 52 when he died). There are quite a few of us on here who have lost husbands "prematurely" if there is such a thing.

You've already been given some advice, but I just wanted to say welcome to the board/forum. We are all here for you and for each other. Please stay with it, because it has helped me beyond imagination.

Sending you love and strength for today

x

[moparlicious]

Hi,

I want to start off by saying how sorry I am for your loss. The site is full of the most warmest, caring wonderful people you have ever met!!!!! I have had some very dark days, and without the love and support of everyone here, I would not have made it. I too lost my beloved husband at the age of 41, I was 40 years old. Dan and I were married for 20 years and together for 24. He left behind many who adore him, a wife, and 3 beautiful children. I know you will find comfort here. Take it slow and keep coming back and posting. We are all here for you and pray for peace and strength during this terrible time. Love, Kim

[Intellectualbrat]

Has anyone (everyone) had this experience? Thank you for being here.

Yes I have..I still do..I'm very depressed and I feel like that all of the time..some days are better some are worst..Im so sorry for your lost. I truly am.

[valley]

Hello,

I am so sorry for your loss and send my thoughts to you.

I too lost a lot of weight during the 6 months when my husband was sick. I was too anxious and nervous to eat. And sleep was hard to come by, at least a full nights sleep.

Now 9 months (today) later, I eat more reguarly and sleep a bit longer. I take a Tylenol PM to sleep and if I wake up during the night I turn on the light and read for an hour. Then try it again. Gradually I am starting to sleep 5 to 7 hours again. And that is so good for me. I cannot play things over and over in my mind at night and when that happens I do much of what you said, deep breath, do relaxation techniques etc. I try to stop my mind from racing. My heart from racing. But I do think I am getting better at sleep and I know my weight is heading up again into a more normal range for me.

Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

Valley

[fred]

I am so sorry for your loss, Kay was right to request transferring your post here. So many of us can relate to things you write about; the anxiety, loss of appetite, sleeplessness and so many other manifestations of grief. In my own case, it was almost a year and a half before I could sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. I can still remember how relieved I was the first night I had five straight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Over the course of the same period of time, I lost twenty pounds and still had no desire or appetite for food. This is a very difficult time, the best you can do for yourself is get whatever rest you can and know that at sometime, things will improve. Do not try to struggle against the course of your grief. Cry when you need to, be angry or sad or whatever it is that washes over you at any given moment. Be good to yourself, it is necessary now and the only way you will pass through this phase. Don´t expect things to change tomorrow, grief has its own timetable. Take care and come here whenever you need to talk or read or vent, it is the best thing you can do right now.

[Lucia Abeytia]

I'm sorry for your loss i lost my beloved Ben on feb 18th and i still can't sleep sometimes i go 2-3 days without eating i don't get hungry and than there are days that i eat all day....I still cry alot but coming to this board helps me a lot most of the time i just read what other people are feeling and thinking and that helps me because i realize that i am not crazy we're all going thru the same thing just hang in there