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I can't do this anymore.

I lose my precious husband Feb 23rd. Today, my best friend's Dad died from liver disease(just like D) and I have to be there for her. But I can't even be here for me. I cry every morning when I wake up, drive to work, at work, driving home, and of course at night. AND my cat, who I've had for 16 years has a tumor attached to his lungs the size of his chest cavity. There is nothing they can do for him. My daughter who's 27, who is grieving hard for her Dad is now falling completely apart.

Thank you all so much for listening to my rambling.

Phyllis

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I am so sorry Phyllis. I have six cats, so can identify. I hope your friend will understand if you are there for her, how very hard it will be for you. That is a sacrifice I don't think I could make right now. Like you, I'm no good for myself, much less someone else, especially if the circumstances are so similar.

I am new to the site, but my thoughts are with you and your family (including your cat). I think my 'ear' will be here for everyone that is going through the same grief that I am. Thank you

Carah

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Oh, Phyllis - - I am so sorry. I am sorry about your best friend's dad (liver disease is such a terrible, terrible ordeal, for the one suffering from it and for the caregivers and loved ones), and for your cat. Mu husband died from liver disease In January and my cats have been my sole source of immediate support through this whole horrible journey. The vet discovered a growth on one of my cat's larynx last week. It will be like losing another member of the family. I have him home with me now, but I don't know for how long. It seems that these things just keep coming.

Carah - - I m glad that you have found this site. It is a great place to connect with others who are going through the same pangs of grief that you are and know that you will have people who will really listen and who will be a source of support for you. We certainly need all the support we can get.

Kathy

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I'm sorry for all you are going through. Two months after George died, our cat ran away, I guess he waited to see if George would come back and when he didn't...

I got a new cat, I felt it was God's gift to me, I love him so much, he slept with me every night, then a cougar got him. And my old cat, "King George", developed cancer and had to be put to sleep. It is hard to watch our furry friends depart, and all the more so after we've lost our spouse and are alone.

It is great of you to be there for your friend in her time of need...you know all too well how it feels and I'm sure you'll be a great support to her. I'll be praying for you...

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Oh Phyllis

I was off sick yesterday so have only just read this post. I'm so so so sorry about your cat. I know how badly I took my rottweiler's death (from old age) before Cliff died. So to lose your pet from unnatural causes after losing David is just too much.

I seem to remember you saying that your daughter used to take David for his blood tests, so what I'm trying to say is, it must make it harder for her because she will be missing those routine checks when she'd pick him up? Does that make sense? I know that losing my Daddy was a very hard thing to go through, but Cliff got me through it.

Has she had a look at this forum? There is a space especially for people who have lost their parents. What do you think?

I know that it is hard for you to be there for your BF ... this sounds awful but sometimes taking the focus off what we are going through can help. Personally I welcome stuff/problems that I can help people with because it takes my mind off what I am going through. Although, that said, another death is different. Because it will only remind you of your own loss. Which means that the funeral etc will be very demanding on you emotionally to say the least. I'm so sorry. Kay said to me earlier that we do empathize much better having gone through this ... I think you are being more supportive to your BF than you even realize. And if she is your BF she will know this and give you empathy back.

In the meantime, we are all here for you. Sending you love and hugs

xxx

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I can't do this anymore.

I lose my precious husband Feb 23rd. Today, my best friend's Dad died from liver disease(just like D) and I have to be there for her. But I can't even be here for me. I cry every morning when I wake up, drive to work, at work, driving home, and of course at night. AND my cat, who I've had for 16 years has a tumor attached to his lungs the size of his chest cavity. There is nothing they can do for him. My daughter who's 27, who is grieving hard for her Dad is now falling completely apart.

Thank you all so much for listening to my rambling.

Phyllis

Phyllis,

I am sorry you lost your husband and now your best friend has lost her dad and now you also have to deal with your very ill cat. I lost my boyfriend suddenly right around the time you lost your love, it was on Feb. 19th. We were going to get married sometime after the birth of our baby who is due June 29th. I couldn't even imagine trying to support and be there for someone else after their lost when I am barely hanging on myself. So i think just knowing that you know what it's like to have recently lost someone close to you will help your best friend because you already understand what she now has to go through. I am also sorry to hear that your daughter is having a real hard time with her father's death. I can only suggest that you two stay close with each other- you can both be there for each other and be a shoulder to cry on when you need it. I'm sure you alreedy have been doing that. Just remember you still have a part of your husband in your daughter and you are both lucky to have known him for as long as you have even though it is never really long enough.

Maybe your daughter can take Boo's suggestion in joining the loss of a parent forum- it might help her to chat with others in her situation. I wish you two all the best and wish i had something better to say to help.

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