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Another Sad Day Without My Love


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Today is another lonely day as it is everyday since Marc died. I continue to think about him nonstop and all the times we shared together and all the times we are supposed to share together but will now never get the chance to. I always have these moments when it hits me that he is no longer here and I cry uncontrollably as I am doing right now. I wish the pain would let up just a little bit at least but it hasn't. I wish so much that I could see him and feel his touch one last time. I miss him so much, more than I ever thought it was possible to miss another human being.

In just 7 more weeks our baby will be born. She will come into this world without ever knowing the wonderful man that is her father and that just rips me apart inside. My dreams of Marc and I bringing her home for the first time, feeding her, changing her diaper, putting her to sleep and everything else couples do with their child will never be. i can't believe those dreams won't be a reality and instead i am left to enjoy and raise our baby girl alone while I have to deal with Marc's death for the rest of my life. There are no joys in my days except knowing that this baby we have created out of our love for each other will soon be here and that she is the only piece of Marc I have left on this earth. As the days go by i find that everytime i feel our baby move it brings me comfort through my eternal sadness in knowing I am not completely alone. Living without the only love of my life is and continues to be so difficult for me.

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Oh Sweetie,

I wish I had the words to take away your pain. But I promise that precious bundle of love will get you through. Our daughter is 27 and has her Daddy's eyes, everytime I look at her I see him. She will bring you comfort. What a wonderful testimony of your love for each other. Love babies are very special!

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Please know you are not alone. And yes, we do have to find a way to live without the love of our lives,(and I can't seem to figure it out either) but your daughter is the light of your life!

Lots of hugs

Phyllis

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Talia,

I can only imagine what you are feeling in bringing this much loved baby into the world, to raise alone, not the way you'd planned it. I know I would be scared at facing that alone, yet I would also be so glad if I could have had a child with George. I hope and pray she brings you much joy as the two of you face life together. (((hugs)))

Kay

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Talia my friend I do not remember if you have family near by and/or friends but I do not believe you and I are not that far away. I do not mind making that drive if you need me there with you, please let me know as the time gets closer okay? I will try to mapquest it before hand . Just know we are all here for you any time you need us.

Love Always,

Wendy

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Thank you Wendy for your post. You made me realize our cities are posted.

Talia,

I am only about 1.5 hours from you. I am available any weekend. If I can help, please let me know. The one thing I have learned on this journey in 10 weeks, is that we have to be here for each other. Because no one else really gets it.

Hang in there.

Phyllis

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Thank you Phyllis, Kay and Wendy for listening to me. Phyllis and Wendy I appreciate the offer of you guys wanting to come down and see me, it means so much that you would even consider doing that for me. I wish so much that things could get better and i know when i give birth to Marc's child she will help me through this battle just by being her little, sweet and precious self. I am lucky that Marc has left me with this precious gift- she is the best gift he has ever given me and I truly thank him for that. I can't wait for her to arrive but at the same time I know I will also be sad while I give birth because Marc is not alive to be there the way we assumed he would be. Even though it will be a bittersweet day for me i still look forward to holding our baby in my arms for the first time and many times after. She is a part of Marc and I so I know she will bring me happiness just as he did. Not only does this baby need me but I also need her just as much.

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Talia

I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better ... but I do know that I'd take Wendy and Phyllis up on their offer. We are all so lucky to have each other on this board.

When I lost Cliff, I really also mourned the fact that I could never have his child ... I really believe that she will bring joy and love into your life again. I think she will teach you how to be happy again. It is very hard indeed to hear a baby giggle and not giggle with them, even when we feel like this.

Wish I could come over to help you, but it is a little far for a day or two!

xxx

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