Mommies Baby Girl

[tootie]

Hello,

I am new to all of this, as I have kept to myself for almost 2 years now.

My mom passed away on March 30, 2003.

Only 12 days before her birthday.

I am the baby of 9 children, & yes I was a spoiled brat my siblings would say, but mom said there was no such thing.

She just gave me lots of love.

When my mom died I felt like a large part of me dies with her.

All I wanted to do is find a way to die so I could be with her.

But you see I have 2 children & a wonderful husband, so deep down in my heart I knew mom would want me to stay here to take care of them.

It has been almost 2 years now, & things are not much better, I still cry evry day.

I never thought I could love & miss someone sooooooo much, but boy was I wrong.

She was my life. She awlays knew what to do in every situation, good & bad.

I love this site, because I feel I have all kinds of friends here that are in the same boat as me & you don't know it, but you are all helping me through.

I would like to thank you all & I will pray for all of you the same as I do for myself each night.

love,

Tootie

[donnab]

Hello......

I too am new to this site and have found it to be more helpful than anything else. I lost my beloved Mama this year, March 2, 2004. She was my best friend and I can completely understand how you are feeling. It is such a lonely journey to try and find a way to make sense out of life. I read something recently about how loosing someone that close is like a major wound to your heart. The wound eventually heals, but there will always be a scar. I will pray for your wound. It helps me to know that even though we may feel that we are alone, we really aren't. Also how fortunate we have been to have had that bond. One thing I am going to be doing in the near future is to try to adopt a senior citizen or two. Taking my Mama to her treatments made me realize just how many people are ALONE and scared. I am hoping to help, and feel that by doing so it may also slowly start to close the wound in my heart, while bringing some peace to someone elses.

DonnaB

[twilcox1978]

Hello Tootie,

I read your post and it really hit home. I am sorry sorry for your lose my heart truely goes out to you! I just lost my mom in October 6, 2004 due to a 2 year battle with Breast Cancer... I have alot of the same feelings you do. I feel like I died right along with her! I am the 2nd oldest out of 5 children, My youngest brother is only 13 (poor baby). It was really heard for him, he was her baby. I too have 2 children one of which was VERY close to my mother. Surprising to me she has taken it alot better than I thaught she would. I catch her every now and then crying for her, but other than that she just tells everyone grandma is her angel now. I was hoping the pain would get easier with time but from the sounds of things from you it doesnt Myself I have so much going through my head and just trying to sort them out. Which at this time of year her favorite (christmas) I am having a more difficult time. Not much into the holiday spirts but I know I have to do the things for my children. I live far away from the rest of my family which makes things even more harder! I hope to make the move back to home after the holidays due to a other half that has just made things harder for me and not been there for me at all. He just told me to snap out of it this weekend he says I havent been the same since I came back from being home Maybe because I just lost my mother ...

Anyway, I am sure you have good days and bad days as I do and some days are easier than others. I too at times wish I could just go be with her but realize if I left my children my mother would be VERY disappointed in me. I basically just try to take one day at a time. I goal is to get through Christmas and see what happens after that! I just recently found out my father has cancer as well so.. maybe it's best to go home and be with him! If I lose him I dont know what I will do? I think I will just fall apart!

Everyone be strong, take one day at a time and live life to the fullest!! Our mothers will be proud of us they have raised great women just like them. I give you all my heart and prayers and pray God helps us through our toughest days.