Almost 2 Years That Im Here

[teny]

In a few days its going to be 2 years that Iv started posting.Im grateful for all of you that kept me going for all you advise and support.Gfief is going on because of the resend death of my mother.Im thinking of all of you but I just wonder how are some of my friends that are not postng any more.I will try not to forget some names but I would like to know how are you going on?Fred Lily Lean Larrysgirl Lyn DesertBob Loris William Derek Waltc Gail Corrine Kim .....MARTY Thank you.I need you all. LOve from far away TENY

[MartyT]

And we send our love back to you, dear Teny ~ our precious friend from far away.

You are one of the reasons this is such a special place to be . . .

[kayc]

Teny,

I, too, wonder about those I don't see here any more and have missed so many, Chrissy, Gail...I've been able to touch base with some on Facebook or email, but the others kind of disappeared...we still hear from Kim and Deborah. Yes and where did Bob go? Maybe they're moved on, adjusted, or just don't have anything to say...sometimes people go quiet in their grief. We miss them though! I'm so glad you're still here, posting!

Kay

[JeanneC]

Teny

Time does go by. I know it will be a year soon that I have started posting. The people you mentioned I noticed also have not posted in a long time. Also MikeC. He started posting around the same time as I did. We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary of our spouses death next month. Maybe it is a good sign. They have moved on and feel they have healed.

Hope you are well Teny

Jeanne

[moparlicious]

Teny,

Awwwwwwwww thank you so much for your care!!!!! I am still here, but have not posted for quite some time, had alot going on. The dust has finally began to settle and thinks are looking up. Even though I will never ever forget Dan nor will I ever stop loving him, I cry every other day now, instead of daily. Dan will forever be my heart and soul for life. I miss him with every ounce of my being. Thank you again for caring and for your love. I will never leave this site, although I may be on the back burner, I will never leave. I love you too and need you all. Love, Kim

[fred]

Hi Teny,

While it is always good to know you are still posting despite your grief, I do wish there were some advice I could offer you. Sometimes it is too painful for me to read the postings of the new members every day, you know how easy it is to open those wounds. I still check in every couple of days and was thinking today of posting something I just figured out about our journey and its duration..

My life is not too bad now. I am beginning to accept the solitude, though of course I don´t like it. All of my families; birth, in-laws, church and online are great comfort and keep me occupied to help make life bearable. I have tried a couple of times to begin dating, but have been fairly quickly remined that, perhaps, it is still too soon. The exercise of trying does seem to help though.

My prayers are always with you, Teny, and with all of those that have found their way here. Especially with you though as you are beginning the journey all over again. At least you are familiar with some of the things you will have to endure again. Please continue to spend as much time as you can with your children and grandchildren. The joys of new and vibrant life remind us of our purpose here, and please take care my friend. Love and (((Hugs))) always, Fred

[Lily]

Hi Teny - I started to write and somehow got disconnected so I hope this goes through - I don't get online much anymore because I just have these

feelings of hopelessness where nothing helps - the emptiness and pain are still here and all on the inside - on the outside - well I guess I act ok and

do things "normally" - my flowers are blooming - my bills are paid - the house is being maintained - I visit with neighbors, etc....but I really don't

want to be here anymore. My dad died last October, just a year after Rich, but I feel the loss of Rich so keenly that I don't think I'm able to feel

the true loss of my dad. But I saw your post today asking about old friends and it touched me because sometimes I feel I have no one - just no one

who knows the heaviness of my heart as people who have posted on this site. Today is a miserable dark raining day and I feel worse on these

days - I wish the sun would come out - but even then I feel no joy .... I'm going to try to find a counselor - just someone to talk to if nothing else.

I did want you to know though that you're not alone in your grief and to thank you for caring. Lily

[DesertBob]

In a few days its going to be 2 years that Iv started posting.Im grateful for all of you that kept me going for all you advise and support.Gfief is going on because of the resend death of my mother.Im thinking of all of you but I just wonder how are some of my friends that are not postng any more.I will try not to forget some names but I would like to know how are you going on?Fred Lily Lean Larrysgirl Lyn DesertBob Loris William Derek Waltc Gail Corrine Kim .....MARTY Thank you.I need you all. LOve from far away TENY

Hi Teny,

I've not been here since the middle of last year and just dropped in for old time's sake. It is sweet of you to remember me after all this time. So here's a friendly hello to you. To all of you.

I frankly needed to get away from fixating on my loss and have focused for awhile on more philosophical discussion forums. Back in March or so I discovered a widow(er)s forum on the site I was frequenting and went in and connected with a few people there. It's not nearly as large or active a group as this one but there are some good people there, but I was able to pop in now and then and give back a little.

At around the 18 month mark I began to feel as if I had transitioned out of active grieving. I still have small moments now and then but I feel that I have found acceptance and been able to move forward with my life. I'm at nearly 23 months now.

I am not sure what "moving forward" means exactly yet. I am still reconfiguring and exploring various things. I am doing a little more travel and I have been seeing someone the past couple of months. My daughter is going through a divorce and I'm trying to be present for her in that. So ... life keeps happening. Although, from a distance; my honey is in the midwest and my daughter on the east coast. Who knows where it will all lead.

My parrot, SmallTalk, isn't with me anymore; she has joined my late wife's bird at the sanctuary down by Tucson. So I am well and truly living alone for the first time in my life, really. Although one's interaction with a parrot is rather minimal, she was still a little being who looked for me each day. But, I felt it was best for us both in the long run; I can't properly care for her alone and the odds are that I will be working more away from home over time.

That's about it. I will probably pop in now and then and stay in touch. I thank all of you for your friendship and support in my first year of grieving.

--Bob