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Missing Mom

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hello i lost my mom jan 26 2004 its ishas been very hard time of my life. my mom was in the hospital for about six month before she died i did every thing for her i was there every day and night. when we frist took mom in it was for a stroke the stroke left her bed riden she was no longer able to to for herself. after six month of testing they found out my mom had 4 stage cancer 1 week later i was called my the doctor to get here things do not look good so the family was all around mom bedside as she took her last breath her eyes roll down and looked right at me and i felt her go right tought me. i go mom grave just about ever night after work my family ask me why do i go there so much that mom not there she in heaven but to me that was the last place i seen mom so feel that i have to be there this and when im there i ask her to give me a sing that she i ok but i never get any thing so some time i thing maybe there is no after life after all if there was you thing a loved would want there family to know there ok is it wrong to think to think like that almost a year later and feel the same as i did the moment after mom death when dose it get better

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful son to care for her so completely. I think it's OK to visit her grave. I talk to my dad sometimes. It has been 10 months since he died. Something will trigger my sadness, and I cry, but I also will either talk out loud to him or just think, "Hey, dad. This makes me think of you and I really miss you a lot. I love you." I do it anywhere. To me it's like praying. I'm not religious, but was raised to be so. I don't believe in a higher power per se, but I think prayer can be very beneficial. It's not who's hearing it, but what you're saying. It's the act of doing it. Do what you need to to work through your mom's death. You had so little time to prepare for her passing. I wish you peace.

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Hello momsblueeyeboy,

I just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from! I, too, lost my mom in 2004! I haven't been "normal" sense. I hate not having her around, being able to talk to her, hug her and tell her how much I love her! There are some days /i feel lije my life is over or I want to end my life so I can be with her because I hurt so much!

With this being the first Christmas with out her it just compounds the pain. Sometimes, I don't think that people really understand what I am going through. I often feel all alone and I feel like I am the only one thats going through what I have to deal with. I've got 4 other brothers but all of them seem like they have coped with the situation, but I haven't. But then again, I was the one that was closest to her. On the day that we were making the funeral arrangements everyone was asking me what I wanted to do...because I was "mom's favorite". Well I wasn't really her favorite, she didn't have a favorite she loved us all the same. But I was the one that was closest to her and was the one that always called and went to see her.

Unlike your situation I didn't have any real warning signs to perpare me for her passing. I had gone to see her 2 days before she passed away and she seemed fine. Well looking back there were some signs, but hignsight is ALWAYS 20/20. I often blame myself for that too! All I know is I want her back or I want to be with her. Call me selfish but I can't help it. I would gladly give up EVERYTHING I've got to be with her right now. Or have her back with me.

Anyway, I know that this is very longwinded but I am going to go for now. Try to enjoy your Holiday Season and if you want to cry, go for it. I know that there are sometimes I just can't hold it in, so i don't bother to try anymore. I hope that you feel better.


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  • 5 weeks later...

Gee I wish I could give you a hug in person. (((HUG))) I am sorry for your loss. I feel your sadness and long for my own to go..but unfortunately we are here to bare the pain and do what we can to stay alive. Life will never be the same again. Visit your mom I have mine here at home. Dad too. It some how helps to be near them in any way.


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