Still Miss Mom After A Year

[Tina]

Hi My name is Tina It was one year ago Dec.14,2004 that I lost my mom to Lung Cancer. My husband, My daughter, and I moved in with mom to take care of her as she wanted to stay in her own home. she had just moved into a new Condo and never got a chance to enjoy it. I miss her so much and I am glad we were able to take care of her and she was with the ones who LOVED her but at the same time I'm haunted by her suffering and being unable to breath. How she cried like a baby and was so scared of what she was facing. The sadest part is she had one of the most treatable Cancers there is but her doctor (that she had so much faith in) ignored her complaints on her cough, her pain in her chest (he said it was pleurisy or a pulled muscle or old age) he never suggested a chest x-ray to see what was going on. After mom passed away and I was cleaning her condo I found receipts from her doctor of two years ago and found complaints of cough and pain in her chest. It is so lonely without her here. Everyone keeps telling me to move on and don't dwell on it. But she was such a big part of my life. I did have Hospice the last few days of my moms life I wish I would have called them sooner but we were all in denial of what was happening to mom. I'm glad I found this website I was beginning to think I was losing it feeling so bad after so much time but I see other people feel the same ater one year two years so now I feel I'm OK and it takes some people longer to get over things... things will never be the same without mom here but we HAVE to go on in hopes there is an after life and we'll see our loved ones again!!! Thanks for listening... Tina

[Anna2]

Hello Tina..nice to meet you. Reading your letter is like my own feelings. The loss is so deep inside my soul. I do know what you are feeling and wish I could make you feel better...but as like me there is nothing anyone could say to make your life better.

I too had to watch mom die one day at a time until there was nothing left. Her face is in my face..her eyes mine. I look in the mirror and see her. I pass her room and feel she is still there.

Caring for mom was the only thing that was important to me. Now that she is gone..I am lost. I do hope you have friends to help you.

God bless you and your family.

Anna