Patrick Swayze

[Chai]

Well, I find myself here tonight because of the death of the late, great actor Patrick Swayze after his battle with pancreatic cancer. I was just printing out a homework assignment and there it was "Patrick Swayze, 57, dies." (www.yahoo.com)

For some reason, this makes me feel very, very sad. It makes me think of how terrible cancer is, that it rips apart families and lives. It makes me think of how much my father loved the movie "Ghost," which Patrick Swayze was in. It makes me think of how fragile life is, too. And how, here this man fought cancer for 20 months, and my father only fought it for 2 months. How is that possible? It just makes no sense. It's just too sad.

My dad wanted to beat it, too. He was so hopeful. I feel so sad for my dad, that he didn't. And I think about how devastated he must have been, to find out he had cancer. I never talked to him about it...but I know he was sad. I could hear it in his voice on the phone sometimes. I'm sad for my dad having been sad, and also for him having been hopeful, but then...he was gone. Of all the people in the world, I thought if anyone could beat cancer, it would be my dad. He was so healthy, and he focused so much of his life on staying healthy. Maybe I'm subconsciously angry at my dad (and thus guilty with myself) for him not beating it.

In the article I read, there's a quote of Swayze's saying how his dream was that one day, in regards to cancer, the word 'cure' would be not followed by the words, 'is impossible.' I hope so, too! RIP, Patrick Swayze.

Seriously, though. Just...reading about that set me off and makes me so sad. I was just lying in my bed trying to sleep and I start crying my eyes out for Patrick Swayze and my dad. My religion may tell me that karma makes it all make sense, but I still can't help but think "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

It makes me think how cruel and unfair and sad the world is. I wish I could be some place happy, but I can't think of any happy place right now. I haven't been writing, I haven't been looking forward to classes. As for graduation, my wish is just to get it over with! I'm not excited about it at all. I am tired of it.

And there's no comfort (except your lovely selves), because I just know that none of my school friends here would understand, or even necessarily give me a hug, if I came to their door. They wouldn't understand how sad I am about Patrick Swayze. The nearest friends I have who might actually listen and hug me are 40 minutes away in San Francisco, and I'm stuck here at school with a heavy class-load ahead of me tomorrow...

There's just no breaks, huh?

At least I have my giant teddy bear. He sticks with me through thick and thin.

[emptyinside]

Hugs to you, Chai. I'm so sad about Patrick Swayze, too. And all the greats we lost this year. I'm watching Dirty Dancing right now, thinking how unfair life is. Yeah, everyone goes, "Life isn't fair!" It's a cliche. But when we see it demonstrated in our personal lives and in those we admire, that's when the words really ring true. He seemed like such a great guy. Not fair.

[JeanneC]

Hi Chai:

I was also so sad this morning hearing about Patrick Swayze. So young. Everyone lately seems to be dying young. Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst fast moving cancers. I cried this morning thinking about him and how I loved his movies. How everyone wanted to learn to dance after Dirty Dancing.

When you mentioned that your father loved "Ghost", I thought about my dad (who died 4 years ago). He saw the movie before I did and told me that I had to see the movie that it was such a good movie, but sad. For my father to like Ghost was something.

Hugs from me to you Chai.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[Boo Mayhew]

Hi Chai, Em and Jeanne

Chai - oh I'm sorry. It's something like this that can bring it all tumbling back on top of us. And hard. When is your next vacation so that you can at least look forward to being amongst people who empathize better and better still, actually knew your Dad?

Em - hope you are alright xx

Jeanne - your comment about your Dad liking the movie brought a huge smile to my face as my parents actually went to the cinema to watch "Ghost" ... and they hadnt gone to the movies (together) for YEARS. I was AMAZED that my Dad watched it.

It was on TV the other night and I pondered on watching it, but decided that I didn't require a massive booing session so abstained. But it is a wonderful film.

Love and hugs to you all

xxx

[valley]

Hi Everyone,

Yes the death of Patrick Swayze brings back the horrible stuggles that people with cancer face......the unknown, the fight, the choices to make, the new trials and treatments, the uncertainty of everything. Patrick fought hard, gave a public face yet again to this disease and also framed the fight with a loving wife by his side helping him along the path.

Go ahead and cry. Me too.

I am going to a backyard "memorial" for a friend today. He and his wife were high school sweethearts and married for 50 years. They were out walking by the lake two days ago and Barry fell to the ground with a massive heart attack and died instantly. This was a thin, healthy, active, vegetarian, community supporter, artist, father of 3 and loving, loving partner with his dear wife. Unfair. Yes. Again one of the good and kind....lost in an instant. He had no signs, no symptoms, no history of a heart problem.

Life is precious.

Valley

[JeanneC]

Hi Valley:

What a shame, married for 50 years. I don't know if Alex and I would have been married that long even if he was healthy. We got married later in our life. It is practically your whole life with someone.

Some friends of mine thought that it would have been better if Alex had died instantly. I know that he struggled physically, but mostly mentally by being in the hospital for 5 months, but for me, thinking back now, I am so grateful for the time we spent together. I was always afraid that he would spend the rest of his life in a nursing home. But right now, I would take that over what I am going through now.

TO EVERYONE: On another topic, but about Patrick Swayze. I don't know if anyone watches Dancing with the Stars. I love that show. The new season starts next week. And on the results show, 9/23, the dancers are going to pay tribute to Patrick. I guess they will do the songs and dances from Dirty Dancing (a movie I thoroughly enjoyed). Maybe from Ghost too. I am going to a U2 concert that night with a friend of mine from Florida who is spending the week with me, so I guess I will try to tape it. If you get a chance, watch it and let me know how it was.

Jeanne

[Chagrin]

This is so weird, but I feel like it's okay to type it here since the topic is up - but I used to look at the tabloids to see Patrick Swayze's pictures so I could compare them to my dad's pictures and try to figure out how sick my dad really was. Isn't that messed up? I can't tell anyone else that... but it feels good to actually say it "out loud", so to speak.

[mlg]

Was really hard to watch Patrick fade away. I hated losing Tom to this disease in 4 1/2 mos but at least I didn't have to watch him waste away to nothing. He only lost the "beer" belly look so he actually looked pretty good other than being a little pale. I'm glad I can remember him that way.

Chai, I'm sorry you are so sad. Please accept this big ((((((hug)))))))))

[Chai]

Thank you all for your replies and hugs. (((Hugs))) back. Jeanne, I will try and check out that dancing with the stars show. Chagrin, I am glad that you spoke your thought "out loud," because it helped you to say it. We are here to help each other.

I am still mulling over the whole thing, reading articles, watching snippets of Patrick Swayze movies...plan to sit down and watch "Youngblood" sometime soon; don't think I could watch "Ghost" at the moment, it would make me feel even sadder...excellent movie though, touched a lot of people's hearts.