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I Found My Sweet Neeka Dead Under My Bed


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Yesterday afternoon, after a very busy day, i realized i had not seen my little girl jack russell terrier all day. I searched for her and my son found her under my bed passed away. She was 11 years old and so very precious to my heart i cannot even describe the depth of my love for her. My Husband is a ships captain and is often gone for long periods of time and little Neeky was always there for me. She, too, slept under my covers and greeted me every morning. She only weighed 11 pounds so she was very "totable" and loved being carried as much as i loved carrying her. She seemed perfectly healthy when i went to sleep Wednesday night. That night she had slept under my bed......and that's where we found her yesterday afternoon. She looked so peaceful and i know she had a beautiful death. My Husband loved her as much as I did and since he's gone the deal was that her body was to be wrapped and put in the freezer so we could have a memorial together when he gets home on Tuesday. I couldnt let go of that sweet little body. I am so devastated. I am also going through the worst guilt in the world. Why didnt i realize she wasnt around earlier? I am upset because i didnt get a last kiss or cuddle because she seemed perfectly healthy. I feel like she died alone without her Mommy there. We have another Jack....a male.....and he's 14 years old. Now I'm totally paranoid that I'll wake up and find him passed on too. He misses Neeka and I fear he'll grieve himself to death. I cannot stop weeping. It comes and it goes but it's intense and very draining. I'm almost ashamed to tell people what's going on for fear they'll call me silly. So far I haven't encountered that; everyone I've told has assured me that to grieve this hard is normal.

Taras_Mom....you're post helped me so much. I'm so sorry for your sweet Taras loss. And I so understand how you feel. I ache for my little Neeka.

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