MikeC Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 It has been quite a while since I posted here, although I do check in here from time to time. Most of the names I see now are not familiar to me, but I know we have much in common. I lost Janet, my wife of 29 years, in June 2008 (it was 17 months ago yesterday). I have gone through my year of “firsts” - wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day – and while they were all difficult times, I did manage to get through them. Today I fixed Thanksgiving dinner for my 2 sons and me. We started with a toast – to Janet, to the fact that we are still a family, and that things are a lot better now than they were a year ago. I still miss Janet so much, but I no longer feel sad all the time. Memories of her are now more pleasant than saddening – I can smile and even laugh when I think of some of the joyful times we shared. Believe me, that wasn't the case this time last year! A year ago I was sure I would never reach this point, despite assurances that things would get better from folks here who had been on this journey to healing a lot longer than me. It has been a very gradual healing process. I don't claim to be “healed” and I doubt that I will ever “get over” this great loss, but I do see glimpses of hope and happiness where I once saw darkness and depression. I want to offer my wish that all of you find something to be thankful for today and hope that you see happier times in the months and years ahead. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Thanks for the encouraging post Mike. Here's a toast to your Janet and the fact that a year from now I could be much better. Best, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 MikeC, gosh I'm glad to see a familiar face, sweet Janet! I'm glad you feel some improvement over last year. I'm proud of you, keeping your family intact, fixing your Thanksgiving dinner. This takes courage and strength. Its a great thing when memories of her bring smiles. I know you will ALWAYS miss her. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat2005 Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Mike, Thanks for the encouraging words. I am only 5 months into this journey and I look forward to when I can remember and smile at my memories. Right now they only bring tears. Again thanks, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Mike, It is good to hear from you again and know that things are a little better than last year. We started our meal with a toast to Bob and his place was set with 2 candles. They are forever in our hearts, aren't they? Well, keep taking good care. Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you and the boys had a few good laughs together. Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Mike: Thank you for your words of encouragement. You may all think it is strange, but I have been able to talk to friends and famiily about Scott and laugh and smile right from the very beginning (though of course there was and still are an abundance of tears, disbelief, anger etc etc). I just never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next. Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Im happy to read your post and know you are doing better.Thanksgiving is not a holliday that we celebrate in Greece but reading allthe posts I found that I do have t be thankfull for.As you say I will vever get over my loss but it is easier than last year.Thank you for your courage. YOur far away friend TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Korina, I have been like that too. In fact, I wanted to talk about Adrianne all the time...I think people began to get tired of it. The only thing that really bothered me was when someone was talking about her and was distorting something about her life. Then, I would get pi$ed and tell them off real quick...then, of course, I would have to apologize. Strange trip, isn't it. Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Hi Korina, I've also been able to talk about Brian with laughter and smiles amidst the tears and sadness right from the beginning. How could I not? He was such a funny guy and always had us laughing with his stories and jokes. I cherish these memories and hope someday the sadness and tears will subside just a bit. Family and friends have been really good about letting me to talk about Brian. Many are missing him almost as much as I am so it helps us all to remember his presence in our lives and what he meant to us. I remember the week after Brian passed away two good friends came to visit. We told Brian stories most of the night and we laughed because the stories were funny. Sometimes I get pangs of guilt when I laugh, but my friends remind me this is what Brian would want. I still miss him and I'm still somewhat lost without him, but life is slowly getting a little easier. I just continue to accept the emotions as they come and take life day by day. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 It's good to hear from you, Mike! You know you and I are at the same timeline, and yes, although for me the days leading up to Thanksgiving were emotional, the day itself I felt peace. I walked on the beach, cooked a turkey just like we always did, talked to my stepson (3000 miles away) for an hour, and when it came time to eat, just silently thanked G-d for 24 wonderful years. I know your Janet was with you and your boys - take care - Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Linda and Ted: I am glad I am not the only one, as at times, I too have felt guilty about smiling. Strange trip, indeed. Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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