I'll Never Hear His Voice Again

[Sam]

My Dad died on January 17th. I miss him so much. I can't get my mind around the the realities of his death -- how is it possible I'll never hear my Dad's voice again? How is it possible I'll never hold his hand again? How is it possible that he won't be at my wedding? How can I not get him Christmas presents or birthday presents? I can't get my mind around the though that I will never see him again. I love him -- I love him so much and that is emotion is alive! God damn it -- I want him back! I want him healthy and strong and alive and I want to hug him one more time... Oh Daddy, I love you so much and I miss you so much.

[Sandy]

Sam

I know what you are feeling. I was in your shoes about a year ago. Let me explain my story a little. I've been reading the posts hear for a few days now, but I have never posted. Thats not realy true. I posted on the teen sight. I found this web sight while serching for a group that my teen age daughter could join. My dad passed away Feb. 2, 2004. I had joined a grieving group,(not this one) when we found out he was terminally ill. The group has been such a comfort for me. So, when my daughter lost her best friend in November, I decided to seek out a group for her.

Let me just tell you a few things I've learned in the past year. You will never be "normal" again. You will be allright, but not your old self. Your life has changed. You will learn how to live without your dad. You will allways miss him, but time does make it better. I think I've lost some of my inosence. I guess alot of that came from losing my daughter's friend though. When you see a 15 year old's funeral, it definately changes your views on life. Another thing I've learned, is that it helps to talk about your feelings. Most people,(especially those who haven't been through a loss) will tire of hearing about your loss. Thats where a group like this comes in handy. The most amazing thing I learned, was that I was normal. Grief can make you confused, grouchy, angry, and have any/every other emotion. Just take your time. You knew this man your whole life. You can't expect to get over him in a hurry. It can take months or more to start feeling like living again. Until then, take extra good care of yourself.

Sandy

[STARKISS]

Hi Sam,

I too worry about not hearing my loved ones voices again... When I lost my mom sixteen months ago it was so very hard knowing I will never hear her voice again... I realize now that I am still numb a little and in time I wii remember take care shelley

Edited October 2, 2006 by STARKISS

[shell]

Sam,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to accept that someone is truly gone. Sandy gave you some excellent insight into the grieving process and some great advice. I don't have anything to add, except that we are all here for you and understand what you are going through. Please keep letting your feelings out, here on this board, and anywhere else you can find to do so. It truly will help you heal.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I have so amazing news, I found an old video tape my dad took while we were on vacation and it has my mom and dad's voice on it.... Cool eh!!! Take care Shelley

[MartyT]

Oh Shelley, what a treasure that is for you! Very cool indeed! I'm so happy for you! I have a very old-fashioned, reel-to-reel audio tape-recording of my own father's voice, singing songs he loved and accompanying himself on his banjo. One day I plan to have someone transfer it onto a CD for me, but in the meantime, it gives me great comfort just to know I have it, tucked away in a safe place in my home.

[STARKISS]

Hi Marty T,

That is so very nice, I know that I will be better off now because I found this tape and I hope that with your record you will also remember all the good times and his voice too. Take care and thank you for your post Shelley

[Trudy1964]

Hi all,

I have a tape that I took out of my answering machine with my Mom's voice on it. When I get really lonesome, I play it over and over again. It's so comforting to know I'll never forget her voice.

God Bless,

Trudy

[STARKISS]

Hi Trudy1964,

I know know that I found the tape of my parents voices it will help me not miss them as much and I hope the the tape of your mother's voice will do the same for you... How wonderful that you do have a tape of her voice Take care and God Bless You Shelley

[Leann]

Hi all,

I have a tape that I took out of my answering machine with my Mom's voice on it. When I get really lonesome, I play it over and over again. It's so comforting to know I'll never forget her voice.

God Bless,

Trudy

I did the same thing, Trudy. It helps sooo much!

Love,

Leann

[jc1030]

Sam,

My dad died the end of October. I'm still trying to get used to the fact he's gone because he died so suddenly from a stroke. If there's one thing I really miss, it's the sound of his prosthesis when he was walking around. For 23 years, I got so used to the clicking sound of his artificial leg when he walked around whenver I visited my parents, and now that it has been slienced, it's even more upsetting.

The one thing that's comforting me is an old message he left on my answering machine in my apartment. I can at least hear my dad's voice once in a while. My ultimate hope is that I will see him in a dream or a vision where he'll let me know that he's alright now and that I don't need to worry about him anymore.

Take care,

Jeff

[lorikelly]

Jeff

I am reading a great book called Hello From Heaven. all about dreams, visions etc from real life people. Get it and read it , it is amazing. lori

[jc1030]

Thanks Lori, I'll check it out.

I probably shouldn't expect anything too soon. Perhaps it's because part of me still isn't fully accepting my dad's passing as it's only been over a month.

[MartyT]

Hi Jeff,

In addition to the book that Lori has recommended, you'll find lots of helpful reading suggestions from several of our other GH Discussion Groups members. Be sure to see this post:

Grief Bibliography

The topic of grief dreams is one that's been discussed at length here, too. If you've not seen it already, you might want to read the post in our Behaviors in Bereavement forum entitled "Strange Dreams about Death," dated 28 November 2005. You can access it directly by clicking on this link:

http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?show...&#entry2900

[jc1030]

Thanks. I'll be sure to check these out.

I got the book Lori mentioned at a local library today.

I guess the subject is somewhat important to me right now since I didn't have the chance to talk to my dad before his stroke, and that he never regained consciousness before he died, so I don't know if he heard me or not the times I spoke to him when I was at his side in the hospital.

Again, thanks for the links.

[jc1030]

Well, I recently finished reading Hello From Heaven. Interesting book. I know there are always going to be skeptics when it comes to ADC's, but with the number of people who have talked about experiencing one, it's just seems to much to be just a coincidence. I think there are plenty of things in this world that we can't just simply explain rationally, and this is coming from someone who had a scientific background education-wise.

Thanks to Lori for the recommended reading. As to whether I'm ready for an ADC from my dad, probably not. Course, it's probably not for me to decide when it will happen (if it'll ever happen).

[Trudy1964]

I want to read this book. Can you tell me who the author is please? My Mom has come to my sister, nephew and brother in a dream. I wish she would come to me. I miss her so much.

Missing My Mom,

Trudy

[jc1030]

Trudy,

The book's written by Bill and Judy Guggenheim. Here's their website.

Jeff

[missing rick]

Hi All

I too found a bunch of vhs tapes Rick had made from about 1990- 95, we probably then got a digital camera. He made many movies with the digital pictures set to music, they are wonderful to have, but I found someone yeaterday who will put all my vhs tapes on dvd's and I will never lose Rick's or other important people's voices. I have left his voice on our cell phone and do call to listen to it ofter. I do wonder if that is fair to our friends and family who call me and get his message, but I think I'll leave it there a little longer. My prayers for all of you making this journey, that we get through in one peice. Sometimes I think not Jane

Sorry , this person will also do beta tapes for those who are old enought to remember them and also the original "movie "camera films. I am having him redo our wedding (1971) and also a tape my sister had made of our families memories (on beta) from 1950 -1970. I am looking forward to seeing these as I also lost my mom 18 months ago. How time stands still, I feel it was just yesterday. that's all for now - everyone be gentle with yourself tonight Jane

[TeresaBennett]

I feel the same as you Im not angry though your just going thru normal hurt mad feeling This will be my first christmas without my daddy he was 64 and died of lung cancer november 25 ,2007 a little over 2 weeks ago I catch myself thinking about something I wanna call hes not there so you know what I speak out I can talk to him where ever when ever I want and I can see him shaking his head at me like the other day I went to his grave site I wasnt at the right one and I laughed and walked to him You will be ok remember everything your dad taught you and make him proud you represent him now good luck laugh!!! Teresa Bennett

[agd1017]

Sam,

I'm a newcomer to these boards so I haven't really posted much. But I saw the title to your thread... "I'll never hear his voice again" and it struck a chord with me. Although our losses are different, I am feeling similar things as you are. One of the things I'll miss most about my Chad is never being able to hear him talk again. And talking was one of our favorite and easiest things to do together.