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I Found My 26 Yr Sister Passed Away On The Bathroom Floor


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I found my 26 year old sister dead on the bathroom floor.... She had an enlarged heart and she nor any of us never knew. She was completly healthy. My big sister was the best friend Ive ever had. She was helping me raise my daughter. We spent every single day all day long together. I now suffer from P.T.S.D. My life has forever changed and I can seem to move on. My sister passed away on January 14th 2009. I just cant move on. The morning she passed It was just her and I home. To this day I still blame myself. I always think if I had just found her sooner. I didnt find her for 2 1/2 hours. Why cant I comprehend whats happen. Over a year later and its still like a bad dream to me. I cant do the normal everyday things like the rest of my family. I dont know what to do :(

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That is awful for you!Im so very sorry for you.Of course you would have p.t.s.I dont see how anyone could get over that.I'm sure you never will.I have no advice.I only wanted to say that I'm so sorry,and if you ever need to vent or talk about what happened,I'm always up for listening.Stay strong honey.

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thank you so much.... your very kind.... many people are not they think I should be over this already... my extended fmaily ( aunts uncles cousins) have been just horrible to me... not been there at all and they all think Im a monster because its too hard to attend family events without my big sister =(

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  • 1 month later...

I cant understand why Im still having this hard of a time with losing my sister. I Its been 1 year and 4 months and my life is still like it was the day my sister passed. I still cry every single day. I still have the nightmares. I cant do everyday things like everyone else. And everyone around me (except my mom dad and other sis) cant understand why Im still like this. I have no answer for them. I wish I could just go on like everyone tells me too but I cant, Ive even tried getting help through a therapist and Ive been seeing him for over a year. I know my life will never ever be the same but I just wish I could live a everyday life. I cant work I can bearly go into public. Does anyone out there know of anything I can do to help myself try to get through this.

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hi there,

I am so sorry for the loss of yous loving sister and for the pain of you finding her. I have no words of real comfort coz I think we all know they just don't really exist.

I'm just coming up on 5 months after losing my Dad suddenly and it's still like yesterday. From what i've read from others fruther along their journey 1 year and 4 months is still SOOOOO EARLY so try not to be hard on yourself. Remember this is about YOU now and try not to take any notice of what others think or expect of you.

I am back to work but it's because I have no choice, I have too many bills that could not be covered by anything else. I find I have a numbness that gets me through work....it's like sometimes I still don't comprehend what has happened. I have a very good support system in work and only for that I would not be back to work.

This is your journey now, it's unique to you and there is nobody at all can tell you what way you "should" feel. Nobody only you and your sister truly know what you had and what you've lost. We will never get over this, maybe a day comes where we learn to live with it ..... I don't see that day coming for me .....I am just barely existing now, it's as much as I can do and you know what I think..... it's good enough and I don't care what anyone else thinks or expects coz they'll be waiting!

Take this one day or even one minute at a time hun, what sort of things do you want to be able to do that you can't ....you talk about everyday things ? Do you find you therapist helps you with anything?

This is a slow slow journey and look at it this way, you are still here, you are still alive, as broken as your heart is you are still breathing everyday .....that in itself is great. I certainly think so for me, sometimes when people ask if I'm "better", or talk about missing the old me etc I feel like saying "you know I am doing dam well to just still be alive every single day, never mind living it all up" and for now that's as much as I can do.

Time means nothing to me anymore, I think as time goes on for others the loss moves from the front of their minds but for us it remains there regardless of time passing, so 5 months, 1 year, 14months means nothing to be in terms of grief, my heart feels what it feels and that's it.

I hope you will keep coming here sharing with us, it might give you the smallest bit of comfort just to know others can relate a little to some of your feelings.

Sending lots of love, hugs and peace to you,

niamh

PS Only piece of advice I took from anyone in the beginning (when you get lots of so called "advice") was "BE KIND TO YOURSELF"

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Missin sis,I also think that 1 year and 4 months is soo early.I would have never thought so until I lost my dad/bestfriend suddenly.4 1/2 months in and I feel like it was yesterday.When I think of a year,it feels right around the corner,and I know that I will still be crying.What happened to you was TRAUMATIC and heart-breaking.I dont expect you will feel better for a long long while.If ever.Dont be to hard on yourself.

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Hey Missin sis, First of all here is a big hug ((((((((( ))))))) I am so sorry about your sister! But you cannot blame yourself! And do not feel you have to "rush" this process by any means. Anyone who tells you that you should be "over it" is just plain wrong.

Please post here all you want and know that we are all here for you and for each other.

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Missin_sis,

First of all, let me start by saying I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.

I agree 110% with what everyone else wrote. It really ticks me off when people say get over it, you should be over it or even worse, you sense the unwillingness of others to want to "deal" with you. Please don't let anyone else try to tell you how you should feel. I think time doesn't heal all wounds, it just makes it more dealable in due time. If someone gets over it quickly, great for them,but, everyone is different and only you know how you feel. HOw are you supposed to "get over it" anyway. I haven't encountered ANYONE that can tell me how. I lost my mom 5 1/2 months ago and people probably feel that I am "over it" because I try to put on a different "face" in public simply because I don't want to talk about it.

Anyway, I'm sorry but, the lack of sensitivity is just really infuriating sometimes.

Hugs to you, Missin_sis, and you take all the time you need, however long it is.

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Hi Missin Sis,

I just wanted to add my thoughts and say I am so sorry for your loss. I echo what everyone else has said, from what little I know each grief is different and it takes as long as it takes. When I first saw my therapist I told her I wanted the fast track to get through it all because it hurt so much, I wanted the plan that let me go from A to Z and skip all the letters in between, she said it doesn't work like that I had to work through it all. I hated and still hate the grieving process. I still fight it, which is pointless, you just have to be good to yourself and realize it takes as long as it takes. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. I am sorry your family doesn't understand, I imagine that must be very hard. I totally agree with the post before mine about doing well to just be breathing every day, it's a struggle. I cry everyday no matter what I am doing, my neighbors probably think I am nuts, I am crying while I am out there mowing the grass.

I hope you can find a moment of peace this weekend. I wish there was something more I could do to help. Take care of yourself and know that others do understand. All the best, Elizabeth

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