STARKISS Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Hi All, I am finding it very hard to deal with my grief journey right now as I am going through alot of flash backs of childhood sexual abuse from my father who is dead now... My father sexually abuse me from age 9 to 16...My mom did not know about the abuse and that is what I wanted because I did not want her to be hurt... I also was verbally, emotionally and physically abuse too... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Shelley, dear, I know you're working very hard in therapy to find your way through all of this, and I know it takes enormous courage on your part to keep going. As I've told you elsewhere, I am very, very proud of you. Hold your head up high, take a deep breath, and know that we're all pulling for you, every step of the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 HI Marty, If it was not for the people in my grief family here I would not be where I am today... The people here are truly amazing and I thank God Everyday for this site... I think that you are so special for starting this site and for helping all these special people with their own Grief Journeys... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 hi Shelley, I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. I cannot even begin to imagine or comprehend but you have my love and hugs, ears/eyes always. And I could not agree with you more regarding this website and more importantly the very special people here, everyone here just simply gets it and gets it with so much kindness and understanding. I am so so grateful to you Marty and everyone who takes the time to come here. I hope your journey eases tomorrow and as the days go on Shelley, you sound so amazing from the other posts I've also seen from you and I really appreciate that you still take the time here with us and share your ongoing journey. big hug !! niamh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hi Niamh, Thank you for your understanding and very caring ways, I really appreciate it and are finding it really hard with all the flashbacks I am having... I still have the remains of both my parents and when asked by my family what should we do with them I told them I want to keep my mom but you can throw dad away somewhere I do not care... The family was so sad to hear what I want done with my dad but they do not know about the abuse either... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 I'm sorry your family don't want to hear about the abuse, I'm sure you could do with their support, their willingness to listen if you need or want to talk. Let them feel sad about you not caring about your Dad's remains, it's your absolute right to do what you want. I just wish there was a way to take away your flashbacks, reverse what happened to you, it's beyond heartbreaking, nobody deserves it. I hope your therapy will help you with this additional pain and sorrow, I hope you will find healing and peace from it. am always here to listen and share, hugs to you, maybe today will be a brighter day for you, I HOPE SO, niamh xox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 Hi All, The family does not know anything about the abuse that my father did to me, my therapist says that I am not ready to tell them yet... I have so much bottled up that she believes that it will not be till late summer before I will be ready to say anything... She is going to ask the family to come to her office when I am ready so that she can be there for support when I do... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Hi All, I know this is not an actual grief issue, but it does affect my grief journey because it has stopped me cold in the way of dealing with how I actually feel about my dad... I have been having some severe nightmares about my dad lately... I am burying his remains in the ground and he jumps out of the ground and says what do you think you are doing? you can not stop me like this...I only want to find peace so that I can get on with my life and deal with the remains of my parents... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 12, 2010 Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Shelley, dear ~ You may find this article helpful: Persistent Dreams in Grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Hi Marty, Thanks the article did help, I am working with my therapist's to be able to forgive my father so that I will be able to move on my grief journey.. Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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