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I Just Lost My Mom


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sad.gif I just lost my mom on March 18, 2005, it was unexpected, however she had been sick. I just want to be able to hear her voice one more time and be able to talk to her one more time, I would give anything to be able to tell her i love her and goodbye before the passed away. It as been 2 weeks today and I am so depressed over this, I feel like i have lost my best friend in the world. I remember all the sacrafices she made for me and my sister when we were kids, It just hurts me so much knowing i will never be able to see or hear her again, I feel like i am in a dream and can't get out of it. I just don't want to go on anymore, but I know i have to, i have kids to raise and to watch them grow up. I just feel so lost.
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I feel your pain. I was in your very same place almost 3 years ago when my Mom died. She was also my best friend and her unconditional love was one that can never be replaced. Your experience is so new though that you will feel like it is a dream for awhile. I would like to say that it gets easier, and in some ways it will. Your life will go on regardless, you will continue to live and have your family to take care of, you'll go to work and come home. All of those things will go on as usual. The times you would love to pick up the phone to call your Mom to tell her about any of those things listed above will never end. I would love so much to be able to pick up the phone and say "hey guess what" but I know it's not going to happen again in this life. Your Mom and my Mom are both at peace now. They know no pain, fear, sadness....it's almost unfair you know. We are left behind to mourn and grieve and they are in peace. But you know, don't they deserve that? For all the times they took care of us and helped us through life's ups and downs. The need to feel my Mom's touch, smell her hair, see her smile, that need will never go away as probably your need won't either. And there is nothing wrong with that I've come to decide. We can't just say "oh ok Mom's gone" pick up and go on like we never knew her. That would be dishonoring the most special person in our lives. We do have to pick up and go on to honor our Moms though because I know my Mom would be extremely disappointed in me if she knew all the tears I still cry for her. She would want me to be strong and go on with a smile as I am sure so does your Mom. With all of that said, take care of yourself, don't be afraid to cry, be angry, scream, write down your feelings in a journal, let it all out. Everything you are feeling is perfectly "normal" if there is such a thing. Also know that you are not alone although you may feel like you are. A lot of other people here know exactly what you are going through and we are hear to listen and help. May God bless and watch over you and your family while you adjust to the life that is now in front of you. And when people tell you to be strong, it IS ok to be weak....she was your Mom after all. Love her and grieve for her and then work on being strong.

May blessings rain on your soul,

flo02

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I just lost my mom on march 12th. We had only known for 6 weeks that she had lung cancer. Let me tell you, those six weeks were short. With all the doctors appts. and going, hoping we would hear some good news. Just a little good new once. She had just started the chem treatments. I still can not believe she is gone. I lost my dad last June. June 12th. Exactly nine months apart. I am still living in a fog. I am grieving, but none of it has even begun to sunk in.

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