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Thank God I Know Suicide Is A Sin


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Hi All,

I am so thankful that I believe in God and know that suicide is a sin, because the way I have been feeling if I did not believe in God I think I would have joined my parents and got out of this world...Shelley

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Shelley, dear, I am going to assume that you are talking with your therapist about this. Am I right? Please tell me if my assumption is correct.

(Have you read my post in the thread entitled Is a PCP Obligated to Tell I May Be Suicidal?)

In another post you mentioned a book that you like and you're reading now; I want to recommend another one that I think is just outstanding. The author is a survivor of sexual abuse, and she very nearly completed suicide. She writes about her journey through loss to healing, and describes in vivid detail how therapy helped her deal not only with the death of her spouse, but also with early childhood sexual abuse. Her book is one of the finest I've ever read, and I cannot recommend it highly enough: Waking Up: Climbing through the Darkness by Terry Wise. If you can't find it online or at a bookstore, I'm sure your local librarian would order a copy for you.

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Hi All,

I am so mixed up inside right now, it is not just about grief but about alot of differnt things that have bottled up inside too.I have been living with my sister and her busband for the past five years and they are good people for the most part... I look after their three children but lately I have had many things happen like while working i the clothes washer has broked down twice and needed repairs and the vaccuum cleaner also broke and the hot tub motor broke and tap in the sink broke and the toilet broke so you see my brother in law blamed all this on me... I also have had trouble with his daughter and her bullying of me on a regular basis... She would pick fights and just call me names too..Plus I am also dealing with the finding of a new job too... I have also been seeing a therapist as I am dealing with past emotional, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse my dad did to me.. My brother in law and I do not see eye to eye and this is also a big problem with his bullying against me too.. I used to have a dog named Chelsea who now lives with my brother and because I will not learn to drive and because I am lazy about learning to drive he will not allow me to see Chelsea unless I get to his house on my own with no family help... So you see I have this all inside of me and As well as being bullied at school while growing up and no self eestem or self confidence and that is Shelley in a bottle ....

Edited by STARKISS
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Hi Marty,

I have not mentioned about this too her but I am going to seek her help with it as it has alot of different things that are really needing attention right now... The abuse but also the verbal and emotional abuse I have getting from my brother in law and neice as well Shelley

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Dear Shelley,

My heart goes out to you. Recently I had a friend of mine desire to commit suicide at school, after a horrible experience with a boyfriend, and I convinced her to stay in this world. She now has a new boyfriend who is a genuinely loving person, and very kind towards her. I cannot say that you have fears as she did, more like sadness. But I will say to you, please take care of yourself. You are loved. You are loved here, and by many, and by your dear parents. I might make you angry, but I want to say - your parents love you and would not want you to kill yourself. I believe that they are very proud of you for getting so far, and the further along in this journey you go, the more strength you will acquire.

Please know that you are loved and that your love for others is appreciated. Every kindness you do comes back to you, and I think that for your strength and love for your parents - be strong FOR THEM! - you will, gradually, be uplifted from your current sorrow. You just gotta keep going. We all here believe in you and love you very much. You are very special to us. We know that you can go on, and we are here for you in all your sorrow.

((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

take care,

Chai

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Dear Shelley,

I know that when all the pain piles up on you it is hard to see a way out, but suicide is never the answer. You have been a survivor all your life. You didn't get this far by giving up. As Chai said so beautifully, you are loved here and I pray that you receive the help and support to get through this. Repeat these words over and over until you believe them (it may take months, but it works) "I am a worthwhile woman and I deserve to be loved." And you do, by your brother, your niece and by everyone you meet.

Hugs to you,

Kath

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aw Shelley, you are having such a hard time. I am sorry for the bullying but once you know it's his problem and not yours, how dare he treat you like that and how dare he blame you for the things that break down, I'm sorry you have to deal with crap like that, you have more important things to be dealing it. I just hope you don't blame yourself for any of those things breaking, it happens and I guess when things are down don't you feel sometimes that it just snowballs and everything seems to go wrong, I know I do :)

And I'm sorry you don't get to see your dog now, that's unfair of your brother to stop you like that. It's your choice about driving and if you don't want to, you don't have to. Your brother should just come pick you up and bring you over for a visit. I wish you had full support from your family. Could you take a bus or something to go visit your dog....I bet a good cuddle with such a loyal best friend there might cheer you up a little.....just some unconditional love from your dog.

But hopefully counselling will help you all with it all and I think it is already. I guess it just takes time and you have so much to deal with its baby steps, dealing with it all piece by piece. You are already getting there from what we all see here so you just keep on going and keep on talking to us here when you feel like it.

((((((((((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))))

ni

xx

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Hi All,

I just want to thank everyone who replied to this post, I am not ready to leave this earth yet... I had a really hard and horrible day yesterday the worst since I lost my parents... I let everything build up inside of me and I think that it just burst and everything came at me at the same time.. I have had alot of abuse to deal with both past and present, I am losing my job at the end of June and need to find another one really quickly, I have some health issues I am struggling with and really bad teeth right now... My money situation is really off too... SO you see this all came at me yesterday and with the bullying right now I am going through it was just all I could handle... Shelley

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Guest Gamer205

;) Hi Shelley

I want you to know a lot of people care about you here, I know how you feel when it comes to depression,

but you just Can't give up!!!!

Trust me, You can make it, You have friends that Care a lot, myself included, and I know that things can

bear down on you and it seems like your not going to make it, but thats when you just have to keep pressing,

I've been to the point of wanting to quit, but Friends and family help me to continue on, and remeber Shelley

God loves you so much, and you can make it!

Things will get better, I've learned that myself, and even though your going threw this right now, it will end

up makeing you stronger, I've had it happen to me,

Wish you all the best! and remeber you have friends right here!

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Hi All,

You will be happy to know that I have decided to stay on this earth as long as God will allow me and when I leave it will be up to Him... I want to Thank all my family here on the website for all the love and support I have gotten over the past years... I hope that I can give some of it back, I know now when things get rough I can turn to this site and find a friendly person... Thanks again Shelley

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Everyone,

I am in trouble again, I having those bad feelings coming out and around me...I am having a very bad day at work and both my employers are home today with me and I just find it extremely difficult for me to do anything... I feel like everytime I do something I am going to get yelled at...

I keep thinking I should just go and never come back...Shelley

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Shelley, dear ~ Is there any way you can get some time away from your relatives to relax, to breathe and re-group? Can you go outside and take a nice, long walk? Can you shut the door to your room listen to some soothing music or bury yourself in a good, uplifting book? Is there a friend or a relative you can call? If nothing you do seems to help, and if you think you cannot wait until your next scheduled appointment with her, this may be one of those times when you need to get in touch with your therapist. Please do whatever you need to take care of yourself right now ~ and know that we are thinking of you!

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Guest Robert27

Yes Marty is right, Shelley You have so many that Care about You here!

We all care, Please know that, and take Marty's advice.

;) We Care please dont forget that,

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Hi All,

I have just emailed my therapist and told her everything and I am waiting to hear from her... I am hoping that I can meet her for a coffee and a talk about this horrible day I have been having... Shelley

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Guest Robert27

Shelley

Sorry you've had a bad day, but like I said We all care about you here,

I know things get hard, but try and focus on us here that care about you!

You are well thought of here, and I wish I could help you in some way, like

everyone else here!

remeber Shelley God loves you so much.

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Hi Robert27,

On my bad days I will try very hard to remember to think of everyone here and I am truly thankful for everyone here... I do not know where I would be if I never found this site... Thanks to you and to Marty and everyone else for all you have done for me... Shelley

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Guest Robert27

;) Hi Shelley

You Are Very Welcome, We all care about you, and if you ever need to talk or just want someone to listen,

Send me a email anytime, and I'll get back with you as soon as I can,

I Care a lot and so do all here, You are very much thought of my friend,

if I could give you something to think on, cause as you said you are a person of faith

I hope this makes you feel a little better my friend, and like I said I'm available anytime if you need to talk or just someone to listen to you, email me anytime!

I Care Shelley!

remeber this, from the King James Edition of the Holy Bible

( Jeremiah 29:11)-For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, Saith the Lord,thoughts of peace,

and not of evil to give you an expected end.

This is God's love to us Shelly think about this too,

(Luke 12:7)-But even the very hairs of your head are numbered.fear not therefore:ye are more Value then many Sparrows.

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Thanks Robert27,

I will keep you in mind if I need anyone to talk too, I am so grateful for all my friends on this website.. Thanks for the passages as well I will definitely keep them on my mind thanks again Shelley

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Hi All,

Just wanted to let everyone know today is a far better day than yesterday was.... I am much in a better way of feeling... Thanks for all the kindness you have all shown me... You are all truly family... Shelley

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Hi Marty,

Yesterday was a very tough day for me, I am still missing my mom very much even after five years.. I am working toward forgiving my dad for everything he has done and well working for family is not always the best either... I had both sister and brother in law home all day and the kids were really mean to me as well... I just let everything build up and had no where to let it out... I need to be able to go and be able to do something when things build up... Sorry if I worried you but I have trouble letting things go and I rather let them boil inside of me until days like yesterday... Shelley

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  • 2 weeks later...

Exactly Eight days ago right now I was in the emergency room being monitored due to an attempted "game over" attempt. I spent a number of days in the ICU and another day in a psychiatric unit for obersvation to determine if I should be in an in-patient program. I guess they determined that out patient was enough and I am in the process of working on that.

I can not tell you how important it is to keep reaching out for hope to those around you. Looking back I can see myself withdrawing slowly. First from family, then from friends and finally online. I also believe the medication I had been started on sent me in the opposite direction than what it was supposed to do and it did if fast enough that I didn't/couldn't react the proper way by contacting the doctor for a change.

I Hope others don't need to go the extreme that I chose to. Now I have a lot of repair to do on a marriage, family relationships and self. All this and still try and deal with my mom's death. However, I can say that I have never felt so thankful to be alive and realize that my mom would have wanted nothing of me than to go on to live a happy healthy life.

Sleep restful, live fulfilled, smile lots and be thankful! How? Relationships is the only way I know.

Steve

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