justincase Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 I think dramatic fits better than traumatic. Ever since my mom's death I feel like I have been playing out this overly dramatic role play. I think, feel, say, and do things that are so intense, it seems like some character in a movie or play. I have images of impending doom. I have been paranoid and thinking everyone is turning on me for all of my mistakes of denial, ignorance and apathy that I made during my mom's illness, the bleeding of feelings I done everywhere to everyone without any sense of decorum. I have been overly reacting to issues(and I do think I mean overly reacting) because it seems like more than just overreacting. It seems I have been making an ass of my self as I try to vent anger. I just can't seem to...???....ANYTHING! I must admit that as I write this, that character starts to fade and I begin to feel a bit more "normal" again. Anyone else relate to anything like this? However, I can't sit at a computer all day typing just to keep the "hecklers" at bay. I currently do not have a job. Every morning when my wife leaves the house, I am fine. By noon, I am wound up so tight I can barely function. Very little of my issue is actually about my mom but her death seem to set it off. Almost like separation anxiety or ya know when a baby starts to walk but still needs that thread to be held onto in order to make it across the room? I hadn't realized that at 1800 miles away and 44 years old, I still needed my mom to be hangin' on to that thread. I have had mental/emotional issues in the past but I thought I had dealt with it and was moving on...? Doin' better...for a minute or two. Thanks for the ear. I feel I have been burnin' up ears left and right and just can't get through all of this. Anyone else felt this way? It is enveloping me and at times IT will not go away. I miss my mama!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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