SHeiss Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 I have been having these dreams lately that are amazing. They all are back when my dad was healthy and life was fun and amazing to me. I never want to wake up. When I have these dreams I wake up to the screwed up reality that my dad is very sick and will never be the same. I hate it. I have been crying all morning. Am I crazy? Or just wishful? I find myself just remembering the good times my dad and I have had and everything he has done for me and he is still here. That is so wrong of me to do. I should not be missing him when he is still here. I hate myself for it. I asked my dad what to get him for Fathers Day and he said “my eyesight back” as the cancer has eaten a nerve behind the eyeball. That hurt so bad when he said that because I would gladly trade him. I would give him my life for him to stay healthy. I would give him my eyes I would give him whatever he needs. I just want to scream. I don’t even know how I make it through everyday without crying. I just have 1 day a week where I can’t help it and today is that day. I feel sick to my stomach and I feel like my heart is being stomped on. I just wish there was something I could do to make him better… anything. Just to see him smile again or even just to see him be comfortable would be a miracle in its own. I wish miracles existed. I am hoping for one…. But I am doubtful. Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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