Missing My Mom

[Kansas]

Patty you may contact me any time if it helps. I know it helps me to talk about Mom with others who have lost a parent. It's been almost 4 months and the pain has eased some but the loss is still there. Sunday afternoons are the hardest for me because that was a time that I always made sure to visit Mom at the nursing home. I went other times also but almost always on Sunday afternoon.

Keep reaching out to others. You do not have to go through this alone. Hugs.

[pattysmooth]

to misswavy thanks so much for adding me to your friends list. I lost my mother in February and since I was her caregiver I'm alone now and some days are so hard to get through. This is something new for me and it would be nice to be able to talk to someone who understands and it sounds like you can and I would like to hear how you are doing. Keep in touch. Hugs.

[heartaches]

Hello everyone,

I would just like to add something, and this is inspired by Patrick W's last comment his mom watching over right now.

I do believe that, that it is true.

I have always believed in the afterlife, not in a religious way, but in a spiritual way (though it is all connected).

It does not take away the hurt, the pain or the longing for those we love. but...

I think we can still talk to them, out loud, and they will hear. And in the silence, we can hear a response in our heart.

Love never dies, and your mom will always be your mom, your dad, always your daddy. The relationship does not end,

it continues. I think they are with us, with every tear, every step, every fear, every challenge and triumph. And yes, they

would want us to be happy, of course. I know my mom told me to please not to cry.

She said her mom told her that too, that 'crying will not help.'

But crying does release, it can help for sure, and I certainly do cry a lot of the time!!!!

It is important not to hold back any emotions.

But we must find those moments when we can find some sort of peace,

and know they are with us, and just be with them. This for your sake, as well as theirs.

It breaks my heart reading these posts, and if the talking can help anyone of you, that would be so nice.

Oh, and if you think it is a crazy idea, that is ok too!, as I am sure it may not make sense to everyone.

Hugs to all of you!

[pattysmooth]

I am missing my Mom so much as I am going through a rough time the last couple of days and it makes it harder being alone. Would like to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing.

[pattysmooth]

Hi I'm having a really bad day. Miss my mother terribly wish she was here to talk to. My birthday is coming up soon and I don't feel like I really want to do anything. Sometimes I feel like things will never be like they should be because I'm alone. I try to go on but its hard. I know I need to talk to others but don't want to. I feel like it may never get to where I can feel okay again. Please let me hear from others going through the same thing. Its so hard.

[heartaches]

Hi Patty,

I have heard you, and I understand.

I am exhausted emotionally.

I feel like the strength that was within me is diminishing.

I was talking to my dad on the phone, quietly crying my eyes out.

I did not want to upset him, as he spoke about doing the his bedding laundry.

Things my mom used to do.

It has been 6 months and a week now, since my mom passed.

We just have to cry, and then rest. Not plan ahead.

Just be gentle and quiet with ourselves.

Take one minute, one our at a time.

I think I have been trying way too hard, and I need to slow down,

and sit in this grief. We have to be in it, as it will not go away for a long time.

Our power is to meet it, and be in it.

Hope I am making some sense!

I am trying to be strong, say something of a positive, supportive light.

But at the end of the day, this is so awful, just the worst.

I miss my mom so much.

[KJO]

Hello Kansas,

I just lost my Mom a month ago. She was 78 when she passed. Her birthday was not too long ago. It doesn't matter how old they get, they are no less of who they were to you, than they were back when you were a kid. She's Mom! One of the first responses I get from people is, "..well, she had a long life." That is such crap! It still doesn't make it hurt less. The hole is still there. Also those reminders, and the rifts in the family makes it so much harder. I'm sorry. I am sorry that you are going through that as well. It hurts to no end! I am feeling it too, believe me! Write to me if you want to talk about it further.

[pattysmooth]

Hello to everyone today is my birthday and I am missing my mom. It is the first birthday I have spent without her and it hurts not to have her here. I know death is a natural progression after life but it hurts so bad when you lose someone you were with so long. Trying to remember all the birthdays we shared together helps but I'm crying because my best friend is gone and won't be here for any more. I look at the place she always sat in and remember what she said and it makes me feel bad. It is hard to let go of someone who was such a large part of your life and move on. I know there are so many of you that are going through the same thing and it feels so bad like you don't know when it will ever end. Some people say it helps to talk to the one you lose but I feel so bad and want to know how some of you have dealt with a first birthday or something special without your mother. Please let me know. Its been a bad day and I have been so sad. Hurting so much.

[Kansas]

I just added you as a friend. Not sure how that works on this site.

[Kansas]

Oh Patty...my heart goes out to you just reading your post. Please accept a great big cyberhug {{ }}. I do hope someone close to you remembered your birthday; I want to say Happy Birthday but I also don't want that to sound hollow given how you are feeling.

Have you tried talking to your Mom? I noticed that some other posters suggested that and I actually have done that a time or two. It seems to calm me down if I'm feeling anxious or terribly sad.

After living with your Mom for so long I cannot imagine how it must feel so have that empty spot in your physical environment as well as in your heart. My Mom lived in a nursing home the last 4 years of her life and my husband and I have two adult children and two grandsons. The kids don't live nearby but I have them to talk to when I need that.

I really am concerned about you. Would you consider talking to someone in your church or temple? Maybe there are grief support groups in your area? Or try talking to your doctor? Maybe someone could recommend a counselor or a support group. I think you would find that talking to anyone you feel comfortable with would help.

So far, I have just had to deal with acknowleding my mother's birthday on July 4th, and that was difficult. I don't have a clue how the upcoming holidays will affect me; most of the time it is the small things

that will trigger sadness. I still believe that a person has to face the grief before healing can begin.

Feel free to contact me if you need to talk. I will be thinking of you. Peace and hugs.

[DebFromLodi]

Patty, I remember my first birthday without my mom. It just felt like something was missing and i reallized it was "the phone call". She would call every year and sing to me. She was always the first one to call. Now Monday is my mmom's birthday. she has been gone since 2/2/2008 at 11:34 am. She would have been 94. I am going to take her beautiful flowers and possibly let some balloons go and hopefully they will reach Heaven where I know she lives. she was and still is the most important person in my life, for who can take the place of a mother? I miss her so very much.

I do hope that your birthday was a pleasant one, your mom would have wanted that you know.

My prayers to you and everyone else who visits this site.

[pattysmooth]

I like all the nice things that have been put on the site. I am looking for a grief counselor or a bereavement group to join. They say being with others helps a lot when you can talk about it. Don't know if I can or not but its worth a try. I liked the one poem I read. Don't remember who put it on but lots of thanks to you. One day at a time one step at a time and you get there our mothers are watching over us. God bless to all.

[misswavy]

My first birthday without my mom (she died June 6 of ths year) is coming up this Sunday. I am not looking forward to it at all. She was always the first one to call me and she always picked out a very special card for me every year. I found the card from last year and keep reading it over and over because she had some very special words for me. Its like she knew it was her last card to me. I am taking baby steps and trying to get through it. I know my dad and my husband and daughters will be there for me, but I miss my mom so very much at times like this! She was my hero and inspiration!

[MouseGoddess]

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