Thank You

[Queeniemary]

I probably read the posts more than I post myself, but I just want to say Thank You to all of you for being here for me and for all of us. When I found this forum in April, I had no idea how important it would become to me. You all understand this journey that I am on, that we are all on.

While many of my friends are very supportive, and my family, most of them do not understand. It is so great to have this place to come and share these feelings. If I had thought about Mike dying, before his death, I guess I would have thought by now I would be over the grief, and moving on with my life. I have always been considered a strong person, and I guess I would have thought I would just pick myself up by my bootstraps, and go on. Mike has been gone over 8 months now, and there are days that it still feels like yesterday. I knew I loved him, but I don't think I realized how much he was a part of me until he was gone.

I feel like I am missing part of me, and I will never get it back. My Mike was just larger than life, he filled a room with his presence. He was very carismatic (? spelling) and people loved being around him. They loved watching him perform in plays, and he was great fun at parties. He was also a man who fought depression at times, and was moody, but I was the one who mostly saw that side. He discovered acting about 25 years ago (that is how we met, I was assistant director in a play he auditioned for), and that gave him a great outlet, and helped him fight the depression. God, I miss him so much, and will every day for the rest of my life.

A friend and I were talking on the phone the other night. She ask if I thought I might ever get married again? I told her I just could not see that ever happening. She said, that does not surprise me, it would be really hard to find someone like him, and I know you could not settle for less. She is so right, Mike was not perfect by any means, neither am I, but he was perfect for me, and no one can ever take his place in my heart.

I just want to tell you all here how much your support and understanding means to me....Thank you to all my fellow travelers in this lonely journey.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

Mary,

I feel the same way about this site. It is the one place I can come to and know I'll be understood. George was also charismatic, a very caring person. It's hard to understand how someone who can be larger than life, can just be gone. The more I have seen of other men only makes me miss George all the more. There IS no one like them, they are unique and one of a kind!

[Lainey]

Mary,

I find that I also read alot more than I post on this site. It has been very beneficial to me in more ways than one. To be able to express yourself, knowing that everyone here will understand is wonderful. There is always someone who knows what to say at just the right time.

As for remarrying.. that isn't and probably won't be in my plans. Lars was my one and only true love, he can't be replaced . I don't think it would be fair comparing other men to him. Lars also was by no means perfect.. but for me he was.

Lainey

[sunstreet]

Mary,

Thank you and I could not agree more. To suffer the loss of our soul mates is such a painful thing, and then to experience another kind of loss sometimes when the people around us deny us our pain, don't understand, etc. this just seems to amplify our loss to an even more painful place: and cause us to want to go running down the road screaming at times. I too am grateful for the unconditional love and support here.

Blessings,

Carol Ann

[Korina]

Ditto to what has just been said here, and thank you to everyone on this site, too!

Korina

[melina]

I understand how you feel - missing part of yourself. I'm 52, and am not thrilled about being alone the rest of my life, but right now I can't see being with anyone but Thyge. He really was my soulmate, despite all the ups and downs. He was not larger than life, but a thoroughly kind and gentle person that everyone liked, even loved.

I've found solace and comfort from the people on this site too, and your posts have helped me enormously, Mary.

Melina

[Chrissie]

This site has been a blessing for me and I thank everyone. My plans for the future include moving to California to be close to my family and watching our 6 wonderful grandchildren grow up. Tim was the love of my life and will always be. There is no room in my heart for anyone else.

Chris

[MZM]

And thank you to you too Mary, you have also helped - I know you have responded to many of my posts and always have such wise words to share...

Zubeir too was a loud, bubbly person that would light up a room! How i miss him! Im so glad I found this site, its somewhere I can turn to to write down my thoughts when Im feeling absolutely helpless, or when I just want to help other people (that gives me comfort).

Its amazing how many similarities we all have - thats what helps - when no-one else can really understand, you are all here to understand and relate... Whether we are 28 (me), in our 30's, 40's 50's or later, we all are going through grief on this site.. and all feel similar things. Even at 28, I tell people I dont want to find someone else. Firstly, no one else could come close to my zubeir (everyone agrees with that too), secondly, I still love him so very much and thirdly, I would never want to put my heart out there again, only to face the loss of a spouse/significant other again... Yet, some people do move on...Im only 2 months into this journey...and right now, cant see past having lost my love...

All of us arent here because we chose to be here, but being on this site is indeed a great help...thanks to you all, love M