Ron B. Posted October 14, 2010 Report Share Posted October 14, 2010 I'll share just one thing that has really helped raise my morale. I find that music lifts my mood, but it's how I do my music that makes the difference. I have a nice collection of old tube audio gear and exotic speakers. It's a strange hobby, I'll admit that. I have nothing else of real value in my life, not even a car. But on this one thing I have not cut corners. When I've got the gear working the music sounds almost tangible. Some people think I'm nuts. The gear sucks up half of the space in my living room, and may not look very pretty. But when my mood sinks, and I start to feel a bit raw, I turn on the gear and the music just carries me away. I realize that grief frequently causes us to lose interest in our hobbies and pastimes. That's what is so weird; my music was one thing that was able to reach me through the worst of grief. So I'm asking a question. Do you have an interest or hobby that really helps you? It could be gardening, cooking, sports, photography, family gatherings, pets. Or so many other things. I hope I am not alone in finding something that is still engaging, something I still care about. Please mention one thing that helps carry you through grief. Ron B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajie_Laurie Posted October 14, 2010 Report Share Posted October 14, 2010 Ron, I think it's so cool that you have music to keep your spirits up. As they say, "Music soothes the savage beast" (in us all) Lately, I have been using my RPG (Role Playing Game) to help work out my grief. Its silly, I know... but the character(s) I play have some of the same issues I'm facing and their struggle to overcome them. I also use music to lift me up. And soon, I want to start my genealogy going again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltermeyer Posted October 17, 2010 Report Share Posted October 17, 2010 Thats funny because since all the loss I have run into, especially the one recently that brought me here, I have been listening to so much music. I dont watch tv at all anymore. I just sit outside with headphones on and stare at the stars. But it seems to me that music really makes me sad. Me and my brother listened to the same music and together a lot. So when its on, it only reminds me of him and makes me straight sobb. I know thats healthy, but at the same time I cant get through some music without breaking down and balling. But for some reason I keep doing it. I dont know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterfly9 Posted October 17, 2010 Report Share Posted October 17, 2010 Dear Ron, I'm glad that music elevates your mood and gets you through the rough times. Music is very soothing. A couple of things seem to work for me. I like to work in the garden. It is very relaxing being in nature. When I am doing that I enjoy the birds singing, the squirrels and butterflies. I also enjoy listening to music that has uplifting messages and relaxing harp music with other instruments. Reading and researching as much as I can about the afterlife is another thing that brings me joy. That subject brings me comfort to know that our loved ones do live and that they are close by. We will see them again someday. I know a lot of people don't believe but I am just being honest in what keeps me going on this very difficult journey we are all on. Each person is different in what brings them comfort or elevates their mood. May we all find that special something that elevates our mood. Sending you hugs, love, comfort and strength. Butterfly9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daughter2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Report Share Posted October 18, 2010 This is something I have been thinking about for a while. With my dad's passing I have gone through a period of adjusting, and at times I feel I don't know myself anymore. I loved reading and learning new things about the world, about science, technology, sports, etc etc etc. I am an intellectual but somehow I haven't feel as engaged in these things as before. I know I want to get back to things that inspire me. I have become more appreciative of nature, of the simple things, a smile, a hello, a hug, the sunrise, sunset, the sea,as all of this makes my heart merry I guess. The first 6 months I could not listen to music, all I heard was news as it didn't touch on any emotions. Now, I listen to music from time to time. I know my father wants me to go on and be happy and do things that inspire me. I have two new books sitting on my shelf I haven't touched, this is a good reminder to do just that. It is important to do our grief work and also being able to carry on to that legacy our loved ones left here. I have my ups and downs like everyone. Thank you Ron for that reminder. The things that inspire us don't just elevate our mood but soothe our soul and help us carry on. big hug for everyone, -L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostdaughter Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Ron, I am so glad that music lifts your spirits. Sounds like you have quite the setup there. As to what does mine, I'd have to say my two little Shih Tzus. When I'm really down, I pick one or both up (not at the same time!) and look into their baby doll faces and it always makes me feel better. Or if I lay down on the sofa they will both jump up and lick me and walk all over me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJO Posted October 22, 2010 Report Share Posted October 22, 2010 Hello Ron, Although I do not have the gear for it, I have found myself listening to things I haven't heard since I was a small boy on YouTube. It sounds crazy, but it is part of the process that finding good regressive memories or imaginary ports in the mind that music can connect us to when we are in need of a release. It is both positive, and helps heal the spirit. My hobbies are too expensive for me to afford to do now. However, after I get settled into a new job and a new home, I may take them up again since I will have no woman, or my pets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hello123 Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 I find that watching TV makes me forget and just get away, it also makes me feel so much better after, usually programmes my Dad used to watch, or depressing programmes where people die etc its weird but it makes me feel less alone and more hopeful that if other people can get through it so can I. Music is a definite aswell, just some songs can make you feel so happy and take you to another place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace10 Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 A few weeks before my mother passed on, I adopted a kitten to keep my other cat company. My kitten is very outgoing, loves to snuggle, reminds me I need to play, often will not leave me alone. He is really a blessing. He is really good for me. My other shy kittie is crawling out of her shell too with the kitten in the house. I totally believe in the power of music. I am a musician and I try to play music as much as possible and listen to music as well. Research has really shown the value of music to elevate our spirits, help us to express what we cannot otherwise, bring out the sadness, and much, much more. But, I am too busy right now. It is the end of the school semester and work is piling up. Also, part time work and much else to take care of. Please, leave me alone to enjoy music. I am so tired of all this stuff I have to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NancyL Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 I've never been much of a music listener, that was Don. But I admit that now I sometimes listen to classical music because it's so beautiful. The thing that is elevating my mood is (are you ready for this) dieting! When Don was with me, I was his caregiver, and I had something to do. I was in control (as much as we can) of taking care of him. When he passed away, I wasn't in control of anything, no one needed me anymore, and I felt lost. I decided the one thing I could do was go on a diet and get down to my younger days weight. My eating is something I can be in control again, and it's good to see progress. Plus, eating alone isn't fun, so it's suddenly easy to skip meals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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