For Those Of Us Who Have No One In The House To Talk To

[Guest NancyL]

I spent all today by myself again, and I miss talking with someone. I have background noise, music & tv, but no one to talk with. I'm tired of calling friends and family, and they all have their daily lives. I can only go to the store so much, even there, unless I talk with a clerk, I'm alone. What does anyone do to take the place of the sound of a human voice?

[wmjsca]

Hi Nancy,

I go to school five days a week and have people to talk with there and I have a nine-year old, but nothing quite takes the place of my love, who was also my friend. I am alone most weekends and can identify. Today, I was home all day long and received no calls all day. I would have to call people and I think they are all tired of my sad state of mind since, as you say, they have their daily lives. I was invited to dinner tonight with my love's family and I didn't even go because I'm still at the point where it hurts to see people with their spouses and boyfriends as though nothing has happened when my whole world has crashed. I plan on becoming a volunteer with a hospice soon and that may help a little. Nothing, however, can ever take the place of my fiance and that's who I'd like to talk with most.

[kayc]

I don't have anyone here either. I could talk to myself but they might catch on and haul me away! LOL

I hear what you're saying, it does get lonely. I call my sister too much. My daughter doesn't answer. My son is busy. My mom is nuts. Most of my friends have moved away. My one remaining friend has a lot of other friends and is always busy. I don't know the answer. If I had more time I'd make new friends, but with work, commuting, and chores, who has all that much time? It was easier when George and I shared the chores, but then I didn't feel the need for so many friends, I had him. Isn't life ironic sometimes?

[Korina]

I work full time, and have my daughter to play with in the evenings and on the weekends. But I miss our conversations so much. The void is not quite as gaping now, as I believe I have somewhat settled into this new routine, but he had a mind like no one else, and his ideas and words were just so interesting! I know nothing will ever take the place of his conversation.

Korina

[Guest NancyL]

Thanks for sharing. Don was paralyzed and had retired, was home by himself most of the time, so when I came home he was non stop talking. I've actually thought about buying a keyboard and re-learning how to play it and singing just to hear a voice in the house. Guess that makes me kind of crazy. I also thought of a dog, but he wanted a dog and I knew the work would fall on me and I just couldn't take on any more until I retired. Now, the dog would be by itself all day, and that's unfair to the dog. kayc, I had started a Boyds bear collection just so Don would have something to get me for gift giving occasions, and I've actually picked up and hugged my favorite ones and talked to them. Talk about someone catching me and hauling me away!

[LostmyHoney]

I talk to my Honey out loud all the time, sometimes I even get an answer from him, it's more of a feeling but it comes across as his voice in my head. I also talk to our makeshift family of stuffed animals, even share my food with them as he did with them often (though they don't eat much a tast is all they need). I leave the TV on for them and even at times chose my programs at their requests. This is how my Honey gave me a way to cope with his loss, he brought them to life for me so I would not be alone. He made me promise that I would keep talking to them after he was gone. I have even told some of my co-workers about my little family and not one of them have looked at me like I was crazy.

Every morning when I wake I go to his urn and give it a hug and kiss and say "Good morning Baby", and every night "Good night Baby", I used to sleep with it in my bed but have since stopped at my Honeys request, he wanted to be able to lay next to me and watch me sleep as he had done so much while he was alive. There was one time I was in bed with his urn and he told me it was ok for a while but he did think it was kinda wierd, I laughed and told him "I kept telling you I was a wierdo but you didn't belive me did you ?" He said "I belived you, just didn't know how wierd, no wonder we got along so well !" We both laughed.

Rachel

[Deb625]

I spent all today by myself again, and I miss talking with someone. I have background noise, music & tv, but no one to talk with. I'm tired of calling friends and family, and they all have their daily lives. I can only go to the store so much, even there, unless I talk with a clerk, I'm alone. What does anyone do to take the place of the sound of a human voice?

I bought a fish, so at least I have something to talk to and hopefully my friends and family won't think I'm as nuts as I feel I am... I can't count how many times I say "oh Michael" where are you?, why aren't you here?, I know I can do this, but I don't want to... Everything is still so hard, the lonliness of losing my best friend and lover the hardest. It is all just so sad. Deb

[Guest NancyL]

Oh Deb, I too find myself talking to Don about the same things you talk to your Michael about. I try not to very often, because I think I need to try and establish a new "normal" for me, but when I'm tired, that's when I give in. I had my first experience with car problems today, but managed to take care of the tire myself. Afterwards, though, I sent a "thank you" to Don for helping me. Peace and restful sleep to all again tonight.

[Maryo]

Hi Nancy,

I wish there was a pill to make the loneliness go away. I am very thankful for TV and also for my dog.

My daughter is still living with me so that is company.I find this site helps me alot when it gets to quiet at home.

When I am in the mood I will read a book or rent a movie and get lost for a while.

Take care.

Mary Lou

[sunstreet]

Some things that have helped and do help me are my cd's from the www.healthjourneys.com site. Music is alot of the time my saving grace as well. My cat purring is another sound that calms and comforts me. It is hard when we have no-one else in our home, very hard. I have found that sometimes sitting in silence, are sometimes the times when I feel Melissa's presence the most.

I have a tape recorder that I speak into as well and talk about whatever it is I need to and at times like last night when I was feeling such despair again, I listent to my own recored voice.

I hope you find your ways that help you.

Courage and Blessings, Carol Ann

[abergsma]

NancyL

I too am alone in the house. I do feel comfort here but on the other hand being alone I have a hard time getting motivated.

I miss my hubby so much.

I too hate to rely on others as they have their own lives. My television is always on.

When I go to stores I make an effort to talk to the clerks but it is not the same. We have lost the chatting with the one person who understood and it is very hard.

Only someone who has lost a spouse can understand.

Take care

Allana

[Queeniemary]

It is so hard being alone. Michael and I did so many things together. My dogs really help a lot, I talk to them all the time, and I talk to Michael also. I keep pretty busy, I am involved in community theater and the arts council. Our friends in these organizations have kept me sane this year, along with my wonderful family. The worst times, however, are late at night, alone here at home. I keep thinking it will get better, and sometimes it is not so bad, but I miss him so much. I wish I dreamed about him more often, but have had only a few dreams. I do feel his presence here at times, and I know the dogs feel him here also, I can tell in the way they sometimes act. I have his ashes in a Arizona Red Rock Urn, and feel that he would love the urn. He loved Arizona. As far as "Normal", I don't even know what that is anymore. Certainly is not what I was before Michael died. I am not the same person, and will never be again that person. Everyone thinks I am doing so well, they don't know the grief and despair I feel late at night sometimes. I only share that with people that really understand, this group, and a few close friends who have also lost spouses.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[Chrissie]

I think that is the hardest part of my day, going home and knowing no one will be there. No one to share my day with or to kiss hello Tim was always so happy to see me when I got home and I really miss his smiling face. I have a dog, Rowdy, and she is a big comfort. Yes, I talk to her and sometimes she even talks back If anyone ever heard me they'd think I'd lost my mind. I also talk to Tim and write to him in my journal. I try to keep busy, but I always miss him. How could I not miss him, he was my other half, my soulmate, my best friend. He will always be with me as long as I hold him in my heart.

Chris

[Marion Claire]

Except for my cat and he doesn't say much I am alone most of the time. Have a big family and they do stop by often but still 98% of the time it's just me here. Kay===I do find myself talking to myself. Probably good no one hears me, but I do. The lose of another voice that has been with me forever it seems is unbearable. I see others that don't seem to feel that way, I always will I know. Marion

[Dimcl]

I've started talking to my darling Glenn, but I do feel silly about it. All of my friends have been very kind and have promised that I can call anytime, but I don't want to burden them with my problems. I have found it very difficult to be out among people. Speaking to the clerk at the grocery store or dealing with the lady at the post office is just such a strain. It's like I have absolutely nothing in common with them and normal day to day activities are just so much effort.

I talk to Glenn in my head all the time but do sometimes talk out loud. Of course, it's only been a week and a half since my love left me, so I really don't know what on earth I'm doing. T.V. and radio help some but I don't think there's any answer to this.