Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

My Heart Is Broken, Can't Stop Crying...

Puck's Mom

Recommended Posts

My beautiful little girl is gone. She was 16 and sweetest little cat I've ever known. My vet gave her to me after I lost my 21 year old cat Jesse. Our other cat Jackson was depressed about losing his buddy. I wasn't ready for another cat but the vet called a week after Jesse died, and told me about this kitten who'd been brought in with her littermates. They had gotten into some pesticides, and the owners waited three days (!) before bringing them to the vet. There were only three left by then, and two of them had to be put down immediately. Puck was the lone survivor because the vet tech thought she was so cute and might be healthy enough to make it. I came to "just take a look at her", and well, that was enough! She came home with us that day and stayed for 16 years. We lost Jackson some years ago (he got to be 25), and she was the only pet in the house, which she preferred.

About a year go the vet put her on some medication because he thought she was becoming hyperthyroid. She had a bad reaction to it and wasn't eating. She developed hepatic lipidosis and got down to 4 pounds. She's only ever weighed 6.5 lbs at the most. She got sick again in January and it we almost lost her then. I think DIC was setting in (disseminatd intravascular coagulation), or to those of us who've taken veterinary classes, "death is coming". But she pulled through with steroids, fluids, and a feeding tube. They never did figure out what was wrong with her, we tried every test and by ruling aout what it wasn't, the presumptive diagnosis was lymphoma. I was heartbroken, I knew her time was limited.

The good news is that she had a great summer! She got to lay in her various nests, which were positioned to give her maximum sun. She got lots of treats and laps and cuddles. She got her energy back and was tearing around the house chasing imaginary things. I was getting my hopes up that she was in remission, or that it wasn't lymphoma after all. Statistically speaking, she had beaten the odds for a cat not getting chemotherapy (usually just a couple of months). I was giving her prednisone and fluids every day. Her checkups and bloodwork were good. She got up to 7 lbs. And then our world fell apart.

One night a couple of weeks ago, she wasn't hungry, and her temperature was low. I took her down to the emergency vet hospital, but they couldn't find anything obvious. She came back home that night but still wouldn't eat. The next day she wouldn't eat, and was lethargic. That night she hid instead of coming to bed with us. My husband got up at 3:00 to use the bathroom, and found her on the couch. He woke me up to tell me her breathing was labored. We rushed her to the hospital, and they said she was going into heart failure, and there was nothing they could do. So at 3:30 we were with her as she was put to sleep. I was in total shock, I had been asleep a half hour before, and now she was gone! I am really beating myself up for not staying with her afterwards, I'll never have that chance again.

My heart and house are so empty. I am stumbling through the days. I've never NOT had an animal around. I always keep my cats indoors and try to take the best care of them, I thought she'd live into her twenties.

Goodbye, precious girl, you will always be loved...

Here are some pictures of her:


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you lost your sweet kitty, she's beautiful. I've lost many, it's very hard...I had one that lived to 19 and one to 15 but that's the oldest I've had. I hope you can find another special cat to be your companion...none will be the same, they're all different, but I'm hoping a special one will find you. (((hugs)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish you a good thanksgiving in spite of your loss and pray that better days are soon ahead for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...