ustwo Posted July 17, 2005 Report Share Posted July 17, 2005 I managed to survive another Sat night. My heart aches so badly....I know this will never go away. I heard Gene whisper my name yesterday. I wish I could just touch him. I asked for him to help me this week........he did. All the signs were there. I've been rushing around since June 11th like I've been caught up in a tornado. The busier I was the less time I would have to think. I packed up my house and put it up for sale. Then this week a short visit to my family made me realize that running was not going to make my heart heal. I took my house off the market. This is where I belong.......here with my memories. Here with time alone with my Gene. Here is where I can cry, talk to my love, be in the footsteps he left behind. And this Sat night was filled with memories....all the happy memories. It's been so hard to get through a Sat night without the remembering that Gene left that night 5 weeks ago. I still watch the clock for 7:48 and it's still overwhelming but I can now let myself remember all the beautiful moments, the precious moments Gene and I share. This wonderful man filled my heart and mind with a lifetime of happiness.......enough to get me through until we are together again. He can't wipe away my tears but he holds my heart and leads me. Gene fought so hard to stay with me as long as he could. All there is between us is a thin veil. Gene can't protect me from grieving, can't stop me from needing him in my life, can't stop this unending heartache, yearning for his arms around me, seeing his smile always. He'll be there when I walk through that veil and we'll never be apart again. These rings I wear are unending circles of love........our love. I just want to feel the touch of his hand holding mine. My days are filled with memories. I miss him so much. This pain will never go away. Our love is forever.......Always Gene.....Always my love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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