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My Dog Died Friday And It Is Killing Me...


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I am really messed up and feel strange about writing on a chat board this way but I am not really a people person and don't have many friends. The ones I do have would not understand my pain..I had my dog about 4 years ...she was just a stray someone threw away one day that ended up where I live....for some reason I really fell in love with her and over a period of time she became my best friend and companion...I love her so very much...she was very friendly and laid back...would never bite or hurt anyone...about 2 months ago someone in my neighborhood started complaining to animal control that my dog was not chained up...after numerous threats from animal control I started chaining her up before I went to work because I was afraid animal control would take her if I did not...I came home Friday and found her dead...she had got tangled up in her chain and choked to death...what a terrible way to die...now I hurt so bad I just want to die...why I loved this little dog so much Idon't know...all I know is that I did and now she is gone...the pain is just more than I can stand...she was with me all the time and even slept in my bed...now all I have is emptiness and regret...I know if I handled things differently she would be alive today...I wonder if she knew just how much I loved her and now how I miss her...as crazy as it sounds I wonder if dogs go to heaven...and if I make it there will I ever see her again...I am just a very hurting and brokenhearted man ...I wonder if there is anything I can do to get rid of this terrible pain..


Brazoria, TX

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Dear Sonny,

In your words I can feel the hurt, the searing pain, the regret, the guilt and the longing for your beloved companion, and I am so very sorry for your loss. You say that you feel strange about posting on a message board this way, but I want to assure you that there is nothing to feel strange about here. Somehow you’ve managed to find your way to this warm and caring place, and we all want you to feel welcome here. You are not alone in your deep love of animals, your close attachment to your dog, and the pain you are feeling in the physical absence of your beloved friend. Those of us who participate in this forum understand that kind of loss, and are very much with you in spirit.

I don’t know if you’ve taken the time to read through any of the other postings in this Pet Loss Forum, but I want to point you to one in particular. Like the person who posted about her beloved Baxter, the grief you are experiencing now is complicated by the tragic, accidental circumstances of your dog’s death and by the guilt and anger you're probably harboring now.

Please click on this link and read the post entitled Lost My Baby(posted by Hsebes on October 23, 2003). Be sure to scroll down and read all the responses there, including mine, as I think you will find the information relevant and helpful too. At the very least, know that we are thinking of you and holding you with compassionate hearts.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

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Sonny, I am so sorry for your loss. Reading your post reminded me of a stray that I had adopted(years ago). The dog loved chasing cars, and tried as I might, she wouldn't stop. One day, coming home from work, D-Day the german shepherd was dead in the middle of the road. I'll never forget how I cried for a dog I hardly knew, but I beleve that she knew that I did my best in taking care of her. In the short time that I had her, she had food, shelter, and love. I know that you like me, did the best that you could. You gave her food, shelter, and love. Please give yourself time to grieve. It's okay to cry, and be angry. I've had all the emotions. I had to put my dog to sleep in Feb 2004, Itchy died of liver & kidney failure. I still think of him everyday, and miss him. I lost my other dog Oscar, last year of kidney failure. What I've realized that is as long as I remember them, they're always alive. Plus I sincerely believe that Rainbow Bridge is heaven for Dogs. Have you read the poem yet? I know that your little dog is with mine, playing in the sun, happy and content. Please give yourself time to grieve, it will get better, everyday. You might consider taking an online course on pet loss. Best wishes

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