ustwo Posted July 30, 2005 Report Share Posted July 30, 2005 I tried this week to start doing something, anything with what's called "life" that I have left. It isn't life...it's barely existance. It's nothing without Gene. I tried to do things he loved but couldn't do for the last 2 years of his life. All I found was nothing...emptiness. I even spent one day cooking this big meal I knew he would have enjoyed so much only to find I could not swallow. Nothing has meaning. I guess I had a couple of what someone might call good days....days I did not cry most of the day. But they were days that were filled with emptiness...being numb....like walking around in a fog totally lost. The pain is always there. All there is to look forward to is passing the day, months, years...whatever is ahead until I can be with Gene again. He is all my life.......everything......my only reason for breathing. I bring up his pictures on the pc and blow them up. I try and touch him. I tell myself that so little seperates us now....just a little veil. All I can do is look deep into those beautiful green eyes and see them sparkle. I can't hear his voice. I keep telling myself that God needed him more than I needed him. God watch out for all of us left behind. None of us can do this alone! The pain is so hard to bare. Why am I still here without Gene? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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