Bicky's Story

[kayc]

And thank YOU very much for writing! I always look forward to reading a new chapter.

[marklovesbicky]

Chapter 15 (Un) Lucky

And there we were, cruising along this seemingly endless highway, reveling in our ‘togetherness’; the best of friends, homeward bound on a breathtakingly picturesque autumn day. My eyes busily maneuvering back and forth between the foliage draped mountainous landscape, the (now barely visible) black tip of Bicky’s (adorable) wet nose nestled comfortably under my chin, and the stubbornly slow moving Sunday afternoon highway. traffic…My mind, as it would so often do, still somehow found the time to wander off into ‘daydream land’, imagining all the fun, joy, and love that were waiting for Bicky, Naoko, and me, as we embarked on our new lives together in our brand new home in Tokyo!

Sigh…

If things only worked out the way we expected (i.e. wished) them to…

But I guess these “curve balls” are what makes life … life, and not one long, extended vacation. So needless to say, unbeknownst to the Bixter and me at the time, we were driving not only to our new home, but into what I shall euphemistically call our next “adventure”.

But to truly understand this “adventure” I’m going to have to give you a little bit of background info on what had transpired in the previous ‘eventful’ six weeks back in Tokyo, and introduce a few new ‘colorful’ characters that had already entered mine and Naoko’s (and very soon Bicky’s) lives.

September and the early part of October had been incredibly busy and productive for Naoko and me. Within the span of a few short weeks (while Bicky was up at the temple), we moved out of our ‘spatially’ challenged apartment, and into our new house. Well…actually, this wasn’t exactly true; the house we moved into wasn’t a house ‘per se’, but rather a ‘semidetached house’. True it had loads more room, a nice front and back yard, and a parking space, but it unfortunately also came with neighbors; one very close (in proximity) next-door-neighbor to be exact. This never really factored into our decision to take the place, but if I had known what was in store for Naoko, Bicky, and me, it may very well have.

You see, I believe I get along with people quite easily…and as far as being a neighbor goes, I think I would be considered a very good one. But this definitely could not be said for the nightmare of a man that was living beside us…THE DREADED MR. SUZUKI

Mr. Suzuki

Standing at about 5ft 4, Mr. Suzuki looked like the diminutive actor Michael J Fox…That is if Michael J FOX were Asian, had a premature receding hairline, always wore black, tacky (fake) gold jewelry,

and drove an enormous SUV with creepy cartoon character stickers on the bumper, continuous ‘Japanese’ rap music blaring outside its window, and a horn that when pressed, played the theme of the movie “The Godfather”. How annoying and embarrassing! Yep…This was my neighbor, Mr. Suzuki.

By now you must be wondering how this all ties into “Bicky’s Story”. Well, I’m getting there….

Lucky

You see, this guy (Mr. Suzuki) unfortunately kept a dog. Ironically named “Lucky”, the poor thing was inhumanely anchored outside to an 8-foot-long metal chain which ultimately defined this sad creature’s existence. Never walked, Lucky’s universe was pathetically tiny and bleak indeed. And when ‘Lucky’ did choose to move, the chain would groan and rattle in such a disturbing and spooky manner, one would think that ol’ Jacob Marley (from Dickins’ “a Christmas Carol”) was right outside the door.

Light brown in color, ‘Lucky’ was a medium to large-sized mongrel with a more than a hint of pit bull in him. Shamefully neglected and mistreated his entire life, Lucky’s once healthy, noble coat had long lost its shiny luster; his once spunky ears, deflated by endless disappointment and anguish; his once vigorous and robust body, rail thin and lethargic from insufficient nutrition and exercise; the tip of his once princely tail, completely blackened from obsessive gnawing and chewing, no doubt resultant from the stress that the overall emotional and physical abuse this poor creature had to endure day in a day out. In fact, if you were are an animal lover at all , there would be few sights that could crush your heart and make your blood boil like the nightmare ‘Lucky’ was living in. Which makes it all the more puzzling that the depth of misery ‘Lucky’ had to endure day in and day out could only be equaled by the love and loyalty the dog felt for the man responsible for his hell-Mr. Suzuki. Sigh (again).

As far as Lucky was concerned, the center of the universe was Mr. Suzuki and any joy this sad, mistreated dog ever derived from his meager excuse for a life could probably be traced back to the too few times Mr. Suzuki had actually acknowledged or showed him some love or compassion.

Lucky’s Misguided Love and Loyalty

Lucky wasn’t considered a ‘Pet Dog’ by Mr. Suzuki; rather, he was considered a “ban ken” (protection dog in Japanese). Protection from what, I never really knew, but suffice to say Lucky took his ‘protection’ responsibilities very seriously, keeping watch over Mr. Suzuki’s house with tremendous (above and beyond the call of duty) zeal.

If there were ever any passers-by, especially those walking dogs, Lucky would spring into action, bolting out from his corner in the front yard (poor thing didn’t even have a doghouse) like a heat seeking missile, zeroing on its target. Enraged, with his eyes fixated on his prey, the ostensibly ferocious dog’s face would chillingly contort, displaying an impressive set of yellowish white teeth equipped with a set of abnormally long fangs that would become more and more pronounced the closer he got to his intended victim. All that pent up sorrow, rage, loneliness, and jealousy exploding in a mere few seconds. The unwitting victims, who just a split second before were happily taking a walk and minding their own business, would now be aghast in horror as they saw this psychotic dog torpedoing toward them with all the delicacy of a runaway train . But of course (for Lucky) there was that 8-foot metal chain to contend with…so just as this four-legged canine terror would be ready to ‘pounce’, and as the hapless pedestrians stood recoiled in utter terror, the chain would abruptly tighten and yank “Lucky” back, bringing the dangerous predator to a dead-stop. The intended victims relieved (but very shaken) would high-tail it out of there, intent on never taking that particular (‘Lucky’) route again.

Fast forward to myself and Bicky driving…Bicky’s eyes dazzling radiantly and as wide as saucers in joyful anticipation of returning home and seeing Naoko and all the marvelous pleasures undoubtedly awaiting him.

Special side note:

At that time, Naoko and I had just moved into the house and were completely oblivious to the extent of ‘Lucky’s’ ferocity. Truth be told, except for some initial barking, when we first moved in, he seemed relatively well behaved. Then again, we had always either been in the house (getting it ready) or running around doing errands, so we still had yet to witness Lucky’s more prevalent darker side. In fact I was even pleased that Bicky might have a canine ‘friend’ in such close proximity. Holy mackerel was I wrong!

As I exited from the highway onto a local road near my house, Bicky’s ears darted up; he knew that we were going to be stopping soon. He had that schizophrenic mix of anticipation, optimism, and trepidation that I had so quickly become accustomed to with him. With his adorable chin positioned dexterously on my shoulder, he perused the suburban landscape for any hint for what was to come next.

I gave Naoko a quick call to let her know our ETA; no doubt she would be waiting outside ready to give the Bixter (and me) “The Royal Welcome”. We turned down a small side street and finally came to a rolling stop; our over five-hour-drive completed. The time was 6:30pm and the sneaky autumn evening darkness had somehow managed to creep in and envelop our quaint little neighborhood so surreptitiously I hadn’t yet noticed how late it had gotten. I was absolutely exhausted but excited and proud to have brought Bicky back to Tokyo and his new home. Mission accomplished indeed!

I turned off the car, and as I was unfastening my seatbelt, from the corner of my eye, I could see the unmistakable silhouette of Naoko leisurely walk up to the car and crouch down to peer into the driver’s window. I turned my head in a comically dramatic fashion and we made tender eye contact; my welcoming party was a truly welcoming sight! With her arms folded (there was a chill in the air), Naoko was beaming a radiant smile that encompassed her entire beautiful face. But in that smile somewhere there was a tangible hint of hesitation and uneasiness. I knew that anxious look all too well because I was donning the very same one only two nights before. The fear that Bicky might be somehow be different, indifferent, or less loving than he had been before we brought him to the temple. Needless to say, her worry (like mine had been) was swiftly (and soundly) put to rest. As soon as the ‘Bixter’ realized that the shadowy figure outside was his beloved Naoko, his face erupted with joy and his tail started to wag around so wildly, he literally started to bounce off the windows of the car. I hopped out of the car lightning fast, worried that in all his rambunctious splendor the Bixter might break a window…or even worse, one of his legs! I unlocked the back hatch and Bicky jumped out of the car like an uncoiled spring, in a frenzied fit of elation and genuine adoration and delight. Naoko unhesitatingly knelt down on one knee and gently kissed his delectable ‘black as coal’ nose. I took that as a cue to kneel down and join their lovefest. How could I resist?

“Hope I’m not intruding you two”.

Alas, the three Amigos were united again! Exactly as I had pictured it as I would drift off into my fanciful daydreams so many times in those two previous months; I felt an overwhelming feeling of fulfillment and gratification. Bicky looked back at me with his ‘perpetual smile’, and mixed in with all that joy, love, and excitement, there was the unmistakable look of “thank-you’.

“No, thank you Bicky , Thank you!”

What a perfect and poignant ending to a very trying two months…

Or so I thought…

The Warm Fuzzy Ending Was Not To Be

I was very eager to bring the Bixter into his new “digs”. So, while Bicky and Naoko were busy getting reacquainted, I hitched him up to his leash, and we ‘Three Amigos’ started to make our way from the driveway to our new home. Slowly we walked along the gravely path, savoring every detail of this watershed event. But just as we were passing Mr. Suzuki’s house, a magical light went off in my head, and I brought our grand procession to a sudden, unceremonious halt.

“How about we formally introduce the “Bixter” to his new canine neighbor ‘Lucky”? I asked Naoko in a tone more akin to a declaration than a genuine question.

“Do you really think they’ll get along?’ Naoko in a less than convinced tone replied. “Lucky doesn’t seem to like other dogs too much.”

I started to peer into the cold, dark front yard for Lucky but was surprised to

discover that not only were the lights off in Mr. Suzuki’s (creepy)

house, but that Lucky was nowhere to be found.

“Sure, why wouldn’t they? Bicky’s so friendly and Lucky must be so

lonely. They’re made for each other!” I guess Naoko had no idea I was an

animal expert extraordinaire!

I continued to look for any hints of Lucky, but strangely, there were none.

“Oh well gang, I guess this introduction can wait until tomorrow; time to finally bring the Bixter into his new home!” The procession started moving toward our house again.

¬The Encounter

Now, I don’t exactly recall what the first sign of trouble was. It could have been a barely audible growl from the corner of Mr. Suzuki’s yard; perhaps a flash of white snarly teeth in that canvas of blackness surrounding Mr. Suzuki’s house; maybe the sound of Naoko’s horrified, blood curdling gasp; but I do unquestionably remember the feeling of the utter terror and helplessness I felt as ‘Lucky’ sprang from the cold darkness and made his way toward the three of us in that berserk, malevolent ‘runaway train’ style he had become so well known for. In the split second it took from the time I realized he was heading for us and his inevitable and fateful arrival, my brain had already come to the following (unfortunate) conclusions:

1) All three of us were within reach of his 8-foot rope.

2) Lucky was intent on causing injury.

3) Bicky was his intended prey

And just as if all happened in High Definition, surreal slow motion, I also distinctly remember (forever to be hardwired into my brain) the look of predatorial intent in Lucky’s gaze, the expression of absolute disbelief on Bicky’s adorable innocuous face, and the ‘more than irritating’ look of “I told you so’ in Naoko’s eyes.

Our options were very limited at this point, so all I could do is attempt to

arch my body so that I could act as a buffer between Bicky and Lucky.

Like a master assassin, Lucky made his final ‘death’ lunge; he flew through the air as gracefully, competently, and assuredly as a tiger pouncing on a baby gazelle. Miraculously, I was able to block Lucky’s first strike with my back! Almost like a rubber ball he bounced off me, literally did a somersault in the air, and landed upright…uninjured but a bit dazed. This gave me a very small window of opportunity to get Bicky to safety. I immediately picked Bicky up by both his bottom and collar and ‘tossed’ him about 3ft in the direction of our house. At this point, I had fallen down and was lying on my side. Now it was Lucky’s ‘window of opportunity’. Lucky charged at me, and just as we were about to make injurious contact, he sprung over my temporarily incapacitated body and flew through the air! This time there was nothing in Lucky’s way to stop him from getting at Bicky. He soared like an eagle toward his prey, closer and closer, and there was nothing for Bicky to do other than to watch in horror as this maniac animal zeroed in on him for the kill. Closer, closer, almost there…and then, with a short ‘yelp’, Lucky’s brutal train of terror came to a sudden and complete halt. Lucky’s 8ft of chain was up, and Bicky was more than 10ft away. Bicky was safe!

Naoko, who had been relegated to a horrified bystander by this point, ran over to Bicky and grabbed hold of his leash. Bicky sat there absolutely stunned, but somehow managed to raise his left paw to Lucky as a sign that he wanted to be ‘friends’ with him. (Bicky was always ‘a lover and not a fighter)’. Lucky just regained his composure, looked at Bicky as if to say “there will be another day”, and crawled back to his corner, discouraged but not defeated.

I darted over to Bicky to make sure he was unhurt by that ‘3-foot-toss; and was enormously relieved to find out that except for his bruised pride, he was fine.

Not exactly the homecoming I was hoping for the Bixter, but knowing it could have been a lot worse, I thanked God…and the three of us, not so ceremoniously, entered our new home. Welcome Home Bicky!

End of Chapter 15

Side note

Over the years, Lucky softened with regards to his feelings toward Bicky, True, they never became friends like I initially had hoped, but they were able to be at least in the same vicinity without Lucky going ‘bonkers’

Often after dinner, I would go out and sit with Lucky (bringing him some leftovers). We would sit under the stars together and Lucky would rest his ‘pit bull’ head on my lap. By the end of his life, several years later, there was perhaps nobody closer to Lucky than me…

I believe there are no truly bad dogs…just good dogs born into bad situations.

Chapter 16 will detail Bicky’s first canine crush, and the complicated love triangle that followed.

Thank you very much for reading!

[kayc]

I truly hope that someday you will put all of this into a book...you are a very gifted writer and Bicky is the perfect topic! I'm glad Bicky wasn't hurt in this episode and hope you weren't either. I look forward to reading your next chapter, thank you for sharing with us!

[marklovesbicky]

Chapter 16-The Sofa

It didn't take very long for Bicky to make himself completely at home, Lucky's rather less than friendly reception notwithstanding, Bicky was in suburban heaven and 'living the dream'. He would walk around with that "I just won the lottery" look of his, so elated to have a family that loved him and a home to call his very own. We got him a very ‘comfy’ looking ‘doggy bed (placed majestically in the front of the living room), assorted cute food and drink bowls, and of course the 'necessities' such as dog food, dog shampoo, and treats (sesame jerky was his favorite). In retrospect, I smile to think that Naoko and I were just like two new parents preparing for the arrival of their newborn baby. So by the time Bicky arrived at home, the house was all ready for his grand entrance. He was the prince of our modest house and he reigned over it with adorable regal charm.

There was, however, one place on the ground floor that Bicky was prohibited to go: our new sofa. I had absolutely no problem with it, but Naoko thought that it would be best that we have (at least) one place for guests to sit without the fear of 'doggy hair' getting all over them (and there was CONSIDERABLE dog hair). I recall we had a bit of an argument over this very issue, but in the end, Naoko won out (how surprising), and it was decided that the sofa would be a “No-Bicky-Zone".

So when the new sofa was delivered to our house, we tried to make it clear it to 'The Bixter’ that under no conditions would he be allowed on our latest furniture addition. The sight of Naoko and I gesturing towards the sofa, crossing our arms in an "X" to emphasize that he wasn't supposed to go there, and in harsh and dramatic tones, saying "no!" and "damee" ("no" in Japanese), prompted his proportionately perfect little white head to tilt to a slight angle and don a cute innocent perplexed look. Still, he didn't make any motion towards the sofa, so I turned to Naoko, "Ok, I think he's gotten the message". I quickly looked back at Bicky and shouted "Good Boy! His chocolate almond brown eyes twinkling with just a hint of mischief connected with mine, and he appeared to have officially 'acquiesced'.

I walked the delivery men out to the driveway, thanked them for a job well done, and returned to the front door, happy to have the chore of the delivery out of the way and looking forward to a well-earned lunch. Letting the heavy front door close behind me, I sat down in the front hallway, fumbling with the Velcro strap on my new sandals. "Well that went smoothly". OOPS, boy did I jinx it, because just at the very moment the "ly" syllable of "smoothly" was leaving my lips, I heard the faint but distinct sound of a fur ball thud on the brand new sofa. Instantaneously I stood straight up like an arrow and with an exaggerated ‘gasp’ shouted (actually it was more of a exasperated moan) “Bicky”! I jumped up onto the new hardwood floors of our hallway and leaned my body halfway into the living to confirm with my eyes what my ears had already told me. Yes, the Bixter was indeed on the sofa. And not only was he on the sofa, but he was lying down fully stretched out, looking at me sideways with that "paw caught in the cookie jar” smile of his.

“Bicky”…No, no!

Bicky, jumped down immediately

“Good boy”! I turned my back only to hear that now familiar sofa thud.

I looked back. Bicky was on the sofa again. He smiled at me mischievously as if to ask me “what are you going to do now Mark?" Yes, he was testing me, and I was failing with 'flying colors.'

I scooped all 20 pounds of him, “No Bicky!", and put him down on the newly carpeted living room floor. I really had no understanding at the time of how to properly train a dog. In fact, it was more like Bicky was training me.

One thing was clear though; the more I indicated something was off-limits, the more he wanted to do it. “How human of him”, I thought as I vainly plotted multiple ways of coaxing Bicky to relinquish his affinity with the sofa.

Over the next few days, Bicky eventually did capitulate, but he would gaze at the sofa as if he were Adam gazing at that succulent apple in the Garden of Eden. Then one day, out of the complete blue, Naoko said

“If we put a towel on maybe Bicky could relax on the sofa during the day while we’re at work".

“You mean it”? “I think that’s a great idea” I hurriedly ran up to the closet upstairs (didn’t want to wait for her to change her mind) and came back with an old towel and placed it over the cushions of the sofa. The whole time Bicky was monitoring our conversation, and when I brought the towel down and placed it over the cushions, he knew something was definitely up.

“Bicky!” I motioned towards the sofa…”It’s ok now baby”. He wouldn't budge. His little ears perked up but he still wasn’t sold. I started patting the sofa, "Come on baby, it's ok now".

Finally, his delectable mouth opened and started spreading into one of his full-fledged grins. And with that, he took two steps towards the sofa, coiled like a spring, and catapulted, leaving aeronautical physics to do the rest. And there he was, as proud as Sir Edward Hillary on top of the Himalayas. . No sooner was up there that went from a very formal (upright) sitting position to his relaxed, sprawled out lying position. Bicky sure knew how to make the most of something.

Yes, Bicky had the run of the house…At least on the 1st floor. The steps to the 2nd floor were much too steep for the Bixter to navigate and I had to put a gate on it. Bicky’s little legs looked so fragile and twig-like, I was terrified that if he were ever to take a tumble (and I'm sure he eventually would have), there could be a serious injury.

The Bixter and I soon developed a daily routine that we basically kept for the rest of his life. I would wake up in the early morning around 6:30am (depending on that particular’s day schedule), and in a sleepy haze make my way downstairs. Bicky, having been awakened by my quiet rustling on the 2nd floor and heavy footsteps on the old wooden steps, would be impatiently waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, donning that exuberant, loving, and endearing smile of his. I would in turn greet Bicky with a morning whisper of "Good morning Handsome", plant a kiss on his forehead and/or snout, and proceed to open the living room drapes, all the while singing the Beatles’ song “Here comes the Sun”. Then it was just a matter of hooking up his leash and bouncing off the front steps....Onward to yet another one of our adventures! Our morning walks would last upwards to 45 minutes; however, our evening walks would last well over an hour. And on weekends, I would throw in an afternoon walk (at the park with Naoko) for good measure. Life was perfect.

Indeed, these times Bicky and I had together were treasures, each and every one of them.

And it was during one of these magical walks that Bicky would meet the girl of his dreams….

To be continued…

Thank you very much for reading!

[kayc]

Thank you for continuing to tell us the story of Bicky! I had to smile as I see Bicky won out...my Arlie pretty much owns the house and graciously lets me live there with him.

[denisesdoggys]

ok Mark, where's the rest of your story? can't find it!

[MartyT]

You'll need to scroll down further on page 1 of Mark's thread. Chapter 8 begins at Post #6, here: http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=6096&view=findpost&p=48316

Chapters 9 and 10 appear on page 1 of this thread, too.

[marklovesbicky]

Denisedoggys

MartyT is correct; they are all here on the thread. If you wish, I could send send you a word file of all the chapters together. Thank you so much for the interest.

And thank you so much Marty T.

Mark (and Bicky)

[marklovesbicky]

Thank you for continuing to tell us the story of Bicky! I had to smile as I see Bicky won out...my Arlie pretty much owns the house and graciously lets me live there with him.

Kay C

Arlie and Bicky I think would have made great friends!

And yes, Bicky was the prince of our house and he knew it. I remember when I used to sometimes stay up later than usual, Bicky would would be eyeing me to go to bed so that he could go to bed for the night on the sofa. If I got up to to go the fridge or washroom, Bicky would deviously jump on the sofa and petend he was sleeping when I got back. I would run up to, and then give him a big kiss on his fluffy white head...and go to bed with my tail between my legs LOL. Oh, he was soooooo cute. How I miss him.

Thank you so much fr your continued support as I continue to grieve over the passing of the Bixter.

Mark (and Bicky)

[kayc]

I think one of the reasons I look for and wait for more chapters of Bicky (aside from the fact you are a great writer) is because he does indeed remind me a lot of Arlie (only way smaller). We too have our routines...at night Arlie comes and cuddles with me on the loveseat before he climbs up on his recliner to go to sleep (yes he has his own recliner, I've spoiled him properly). If I stay in the other room on the computer too long, I'll find him waiting for me on the loveseat, cuddled up with my afghan. They are incredibly adorable! This morning I woke up 1/2 hour late, had to make a potato salad for work, spilled my coffee (another ten minutes wasted) so I was in a real hurry on my walk with Arlie. When he was sniffing too long at one spot to no fruition, I tugged on him to hurry up, and he cried, what a big baby! My little spoiled doggy...all 120 lbs. of him!

I can relate so well to your stories because in them, it is clear that Bicky is the master...he complies just enough to let YOU think you are in charge, but we really know who rules the roost! That is how it is with my Arlie too. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm so sorry you had to lose your Bicky, I know all too well what a gaping hole that left. I know I will have to face that again someday (I've always had a dog, and at my age I've lost many) and this one will be my hardest. I don't let it deter me for a moment though, I believe in living life to the fullest...I'll deal with the loss when tomorrow comes.

[denisesdoggys]

Hi Mark, I can find the chapters up to #16, and that's all. Can't find the rest of your story, (I'm assuming the story is complete now)...I came on this site because I've recently lost a dog of my own, and wanted to contact "someone" that could help me find maybe different ways to deal with it...I only need the chapters from 16 on, so yes, if you can send them to me somehow, that would be great. thanks.

[hockeymom]

I agree. Love reading it, definitely need to publish, share, something. I'm so sorry for the loss of Bicky and thank you so much for sharing!

[marklovesbicky]

Dear Denissdoggys

Bicky's story is actually a "work in progress". I started writing it 3 weeks after Bicky passed away as a way dealing with my profound grief and to honor "the Bixter's" memory. Sometimes, there will only be a gap of a week between chapters; other times it will be a few months. I actually have written the next few chapters already, but I often let them "sit" for a while to see if they are

destined to take another shape...And sometimes I write them out of chronological order and have to wait for the previous chapters be posted.

I am guessing Chapter 17 will be posted next month.

Thank you so very much for showing interest. To be able to share memories of Bicky is such a gift to me.

I have very few people in my life who will actually understand the grief I still continue to feel over Bicky's passing. Sharing such stories is so therapeutic for me. I really don't know how I would have ever navigated this "grief roller coaster" otherwise.

Mark (and Bicky)

[marklovesbicky]

Dear hockeyMom

Thank you so much for these kind words. The fact that even one person enjoys reading about my baby Bicky makes it all worthwhile.

[kayc]

I have very few people in my life who will actually understand the grief I still continue to feel over Bicky's passing. Mark (and Bicky)

We understand. It's hard to even survive such a loss. It takes so much time to adjust and we never stop missing them.

[marklovesbicky]

Thank you so much Kay C for your continued support. I really don't know how I could get through this grieving process without good and understanding people like you.

[justme2]

Dear Mark,

I lost my Great Dane/best friend 3yrs ago, when she was 11. There are many of us who DO very much understand your pain and grieving. As I said, it's been 3yrs and I still have not adjusted knowing that I can't look into her very intelligent, loving brown eyes. I still need her. She was my rock,and again, my best friend for so long... as you understand, it's unbearable to "let go" of my feelings of loss. I have been mesmorized by your writings of your dear Binky. You really should publish when you've finished your journey through your story of this wonderful friend you have lost. It truely is inspirational. When you wrote about seeing him for the first time after your long seperation, I had goose bumps! It was if I was there and was experiencing it with you. I could so visualize his reaction to seeing you again.

I don't know if you've heard of the vet James Herriot, a vet in the WW2 era. He wrote a wonderful series of books dealing with his animal patients and their people. "All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small" are just 2 of the books. I have his whole series and read them all about once a year. I never tire of the stories.

You have this talent with your story of Binky. Please continue to publish your chapters as you are able. We look forward to each and every chapter.

When my Derby girl had to be put down, she was cremated. I pet the urn and talk to her. My family knows that when it's my time, I'm to be cremated, mixed with my girl and spread at our favorite spot that we had. I can't wait to be reunited with her.

A sympathy card sent by my vet, a small gesture it first seemed, has helped me on some days. There is a quote on it "Gone from my side, but not from my heart". When I first got it, feelings being very raw, I placed it on my fridge by a picture of Derby. As it turns out, not such a small gesture after all. 3 years later, it still hangs there, helping a bit on the really hard days. Yes, she's gone from my side but will always be so much a part of my heart.

I'm sooo sorry about your loss. But please know that your writings are helping alot of people. AND that alot of people care about you.

Sincerely, Derbys mom, Tracy

[justme2]

kayc,

I believe that I posted a reply to Mark, (Binkys dad) and somehow in my computer ignorance, it got sent to you... Sorry. I don't know how to pass it along to him. If you're better with computers than I am, perhaps you'll be able to pass it along to him. I'd really like for him to see it. I have been blessed to find this site. It has given me comfort to know I'm not crazy, there are others who understand!! Who unfortunately have or are going through the same feelings.

You all are so special

Tracy

[MartyT]

Tracy, my dear ~ Just so you know: Mark will see your post if and when he returns to this forum, as it is posted here for all to see. On the other hand, if you wish to contact Mark personally via email, simply click on his name, and you'll be taken to his profile page. There you will find his email address. (You can also use our PM feature. Once on a member's profile page, on the left side, scroll down to "Send me a message" to send a Personal Message to the person.)

[justme2]

Thanks Marty! I appreciate your help.

Tracy

[kayc]

Tracy,

I did a search and didn't find a message from you, I'm sorry.

[justme2]

Dear Mark,

I lost my Great Dane/best friend 3yrs ago, when she was 11. There are many of us who DO very much understand your pain and grieving. As I said, it's been 3yrs and I still have not adjusted knowing that I can't look into her very intelligent, loving brown eyes. I still need her. She was my rock,and again, my best friend for so long... as you understand, it's unbearable to "let go" of my feelings of loss. I have been mesmorized by your writings of your dear Bicky. You really should publish when you've finished your journey through your story of this wonderful friend you have lost. It truely is inspirational. When you wrote about seeing him for the first time after your long seperation, I had goose bumps! It was if I was there and was experiencing it with you. I could so visualize his reaction to seeing you again.

I don't know if you've heard of the vet James Herriot, a vet in the WW2 era. He wrote a wonderful series of books dealing with his animal patients and their people. "All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small" are just 2 of the books. I have his whole series and read them all about once a year. I never tire of the stories.

You have this talent with your story of Binky. Please continue to publish your chapters as you are able. We look forward to each and every chapter.

When my Derby girl had to be put down, she was cremated. I pet the urn and talk to her. My family knows that when it's my time, I'm to be cremated, mixed with my girl and spread at our favorite spot that we had. I can't wait to be reunited with her.

A sympathy card sent by my vet, a small gesture it first seemed, has helped me on some days. There is a quote on it "Gone from my side, but not from my heart". When I first got it, feelings being very raw, I placed it on my fridge by a picture of Derby. As it turns out, not such a small gesture after all. 3 years later, it still hangs there, helping a bit on the really hard days. Yes, she's gone from my side but will always be so much a part of my heart.

I'm sooo sorry about your loss. But please know that your writings are helping alot of people. AND that alot of people care about you.

Sincerely, Derbys mom, Tracy

[kayc]

Tracy,

You are so right! James Herriot is one of my all time favorites, and Mark is very good at writing, he could very well consider trying his hand at a book. It has been YEARS since I've read James Herriot's books and I and my family STILL have inside jokes that resulted from them! I remember his business partner that wasted good tape, as I recall, yarding it out so that it spun around and around...James had such a way of putting it, he exaggerated for effect...to this day when my family sees someone overdoing/wasting something we call them a "Siegfried"!

[marklovesbicky]

Justme2

Wow, thank you so much for your beautiful post. Your "Derby Girl" sounds precious and I can understand from your touching post how important she was to you.. She was a Great Dane? Such beautiful, noble dogs.

I also plan to have my ashes mixed with Bicky's ashes when I pass. I promised this to him and I have already informed my family (in case I am taken prematurely).

Your post(s) also inspired me to write more. Though, I love to write for just Bicky's sake, it's so encouraging to know that it entertains and helps others.

I wish you the best of luck as you navigate through your bereavement. It's very comforting to know there are others in this world who feel the way I do.

Yours, Mark (and Bicky)

[marklovesbicky]

Justme2

I forgot to thank you for that beautiful quote "gone from my side but not from my heart". It is so true. I can't stop thinking about it...It's perfect!

And thank you for the tip on James Herriot. I have heard of him, and the books that you mentioned, but I have never read him. I will order one of his books for Christmas.

Mark (and Bicky)