Back To Square One

[Guest Nicholas]

Just when I was starting (well, sort of) to accept my son's death, I got a letter from the hospital with the results of the inquiry I initiated due to his poor treatment. Thanomsil deteriorated rapidly as a result of his having contracted Hepatitis B somehow/somewhere some time ago, though was negative when last tested in 2006. His liver specialist (who has been treating him since then) has now admitted that had she vaccinated him against Hep B, he would probably still be alive today, and she is now changing the hospital's policy to offer Hep B jabs to all those suffering from alcoholic liver disease who are Hep B neg.

I feel I am right back to square one, if not worse, knowing he could (should?) still be with me today.

Thanks for listening.

Nicholas

[BellaRosa]

Nicholas,

I'm so sorry that the answer to your inquiry is bringing you more pain. I have struggled with wanting some answers from the doctors about my mom, but I'm also very scared to find out that there could have been something done and that she may still be here now. I've resisted asking because I know that no matter what the answer is, it won't bring her back. Just know that we are all here for you and understand how devastated you are.

[Guest Nicholas]

Thank you for your kind reply. I did dread finding out or even asking, but I felt I had to know as he went downhill so quickly after being admitted to hospital and trying to get any answers from the vastly overstretched British NHS is just impossible. In hindsight - how useful is that? - it just seems so obvious that if you are a specialist dealing with a patient you should offer them every available assistance. I simply cannot understand why it wasn't their policy to offer Hep B jabs to all those suffering liver problems, after all, the jab is readily available and not expensive. I guess in the US, the writs would already be flying by now, but that won't bring back my son, and to be honest at the moment I don't have the energy to start a lawsuit. Astonishingly she admitted responsibility straightaway and apologized - she even wants to meet with me, probably to ease her conscience. You put your trust in someone in a highly qualified and responsible position and expect them to do their job properly. And now I feel so bad that I let my son down. Even his own physician never suggested immunization, and I simply don't know why it never occurred to me as I have spent so much time in S E Asia where Hep B is endemic. So many questions, so much rage and guilt and all, ultimately, pointless. At least in future, her patients may be offered a jab that could save them from the awful fate my poor son had to suffer. Maybe it was better not to know after all.

Nicholas

[MartyT]

Nicholas, my heart aches for you to think that you've been hit with yet another devastating blow, and I know there is nothing I can say to ease your pain. But I also know this: If any good can come of this tragedy, it is that your precious son's physician will not make the same mistake again, and this policy will be forever changed as a direct result of what happened here. Certainly it will not bring back your son ~ nothing will ~ but part of Thanomsil's legacy is that many others' lives will be saved as a direct result of his ultimate sacrifice. I know it's far too soon for you to entertain this thought right now, but my hope and prayer for you is that one day, knowing this will bring you some small measure of comfort. In the meantime, please know that all the anger, guilt, disillusionment and whatever else you're feeling is completely understandable, and if I were in your shoes, I think I would be feeling exactly what you are feeling now. I'm so very sorry . . . ♥

[Guest Nicholas]

Dear Marty,

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful comments.

Yesterday I had my own doctor regularly emailing and calling - not the liver specialist, but our own physician - in an attempt to put my mind at rest. He even offred to visit me which is practically unheard of these days in the British NHS. He rightly pointed out that Thanomsil was already a very sick person and had been in and out of hospital a number of times, for liver and other problems (bleeding ulcer, Bell's Palsy, etc) which may, or may not, have been directly related to his cirrhosis and that we couldn't be sure if having the Hep B jab would have saved him. It is all in the realm of "what ifs" and "maybes".

I still think he would be alive today if he had had the jab, though I also think that his liver didn't have much longer to go. The truth, now, will never be known.

Thanks again for listening.

Nicholas

[hello123]

Hey Im sorry to hear this and its selfish of me to put my own story but I have to agree with the NHS and uselessness, my dad had a torn achilles heel its so common, I remember David Beckham having one and the hospital put him in a cast no mention of anything else just normal no dangers or anything, and we found out it may have been that the cast was put on too tight, either way there could have been a prevention it makes me so angry, because my brother hurt his ankle a few months after and I specifically asked the nurse what are the dangers of DVT and she smirked when I knew it had happened even though he was given no warning of anything of this kind just makes me so angry especially because I know that doctor doesnt feel bad he's just carrying on like normal

[Guest Nicholas]

All the time I am hearing stories of the NHS as well as having experienced it at first hand with my son. The system is a shambles and a disgrace; depending on what I hear from the Ombudsman and GMC, I am seriously considering a private prosecution against the hospital and specialist.

Only today I heard that the NHS have botched an operation on my sister's best friend - she had a brain tumour and supposedly one of the UK's top neurosurgeons removed it all, though it now turns out he didn't. Fortunately, she is a resident of Spain and is now in a clinic in Cadiz awaiting a further op.

Nicholas

[Blondie]

Hi Nicholas.It must be awful.You have the need to find out what went wrong with your son,to be told a jab could of possibly saved him.Like you said the what if's and maybe's will drive you crazy now.I am no doctor but it does sound as if your son had extensive damage to his organs,the jab may have only bought him time,but you will never know.Hopefully something good will come out of his tragedy and in time that will bring you some peace.I have guilt to,but for other reasons concerning my daughters illness,and that is one of the hardest emotions to live with.It can eat you up.I have no answer for your guilty feelings but I am sure you did everything you possibly could to support your son and naturally we trust those in white coats to know best.Thinking of you and sending you strength.x

[sunstreet]

Dear Nicholas,

I want to reiterate what I already said to you but sometimes we need to hear things more than once. I am sorry that this news added another blow that you just did not need. It must be just awful. I agree with Marty, and I know there is nothing to ease your pain from this additional blow.

Know I am thinking of you and understand the what if's and if only's so well and Nicholas I pray you find some way to let them go for they will eat you up.

Sadly, Thanomsil was very ill and the outcome of receiving a Hep B shot will forever be an unknown in reality.

Know I continue to hold you in gentle thought and prayer.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann