Dad Died

[twghope]

My dad killed himself February 16, 2005. It was most horrible and my heart is broken. I try to move on, be happy, most of the time I am. I am grateful for my family and for the love I get but....today would have been my parent's anniversary. I am saddened at my Mom's pain, I am saddened at mine. I don't want to be down. I try to remember the good but it's hard sometimes.

[SharonK]

I am so very sorry you are going through so much pain. My Dad died from cancer on my parents 58th anniversary. Sometimes the pain is paralyzing. I miss him so much. My Mom misses him even more and for different reasons. I too try to remember the good times and there were a lot, but it's still so new for me and for you as well. I keep telling myself that some day the pain won't be so bad and when I think of my Dad I'll actually smile and feel good. His birthday would have been on 8/14. We went to the cemetery. It's so hard to really accept that he's there. We got together as a family and celebrated his life and his love for us. We made a toast to his memory and what he gave us as a family. I know that's what he would have wanted for us to do. Sometimes it's hard being with my Mom because she's so sad and so lonely. She's finally going to call Hospice and see if she can have a counselor come to the house. I know it will help her. I think she's doing it just for me, but at this point, I'll take it anyway I can get it.

Hang on to the love you have for him and the love he had for you. Feel him in your heart, that's where I look for my Dad. Remember, you don't have to be happy all the time. It's ok to feel what you're feeling. At least that's what I tell myself. Hang in there!

[avsqr_dancer]

Thanks for you imput. It is okay to feel the pain, as difficult as it is. Feeling the pain and going through it will eventually help us get past it and into the healing phase. I hear from others, that later on you can remember the good memories without feeling the pain. But now the memories are very painful. My dad didn't suffer a long time, for which I am grateful or at least relieved. I believe that my mom just needed him now more than we (my brother and I) do. I understand about it being hard to be with your mom at a time like this. You want to support her, yet you are dealing with your own pain and loss. I am glad that your mom is now willing to see an counselor, even if only for you. I am sure that it will help her -a safe, nonjudgemental (and someone who is objective and outside the family) place to talk about her pain and not have to pretend or "act strong" for anyone else. I wish you luck in your healing journey.

[STARKISS]

HI, I HAVE JUST BEEN TO MY FATHER'S FUNERAL IT WAS SO HEARTBREAKING I COULD BARELY BELIEVE IT. I LOVED HIM AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH. HE PASSED AWAY ON AUGUST 25, 2005 AND HIS VISITATION TIMES WERE YESTERDAY AND AS I MENTIONED BEFORE HIS FUNERAL WAS 11 AM TODAY. I ALSO HAVE LOST MY MOM ON APRIL 18, 2005 IN LAS VEGAS. I JUST CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE WITHOUT MY LOVING AND CARING PARENTS. I NOW WILL HAVE TO MOVE TO A NEW PLACE TO LIVE AFTER LIVING WITH MY PARENTS FOR 40 YEARS. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TIME WILL ONLY TELL.

[twghope]

Thank you all for your replies. It doesn't really make it easier to get over but it is comforting and I am so grateful. I didn't have a perfect relationship with my dad growing up but as he (and I) got older we did become friends. I enjoyed our conversations, his love and respect for nature and will miss being able to give him a hug. I, too and sorry for your losses. It's going to be so different going through the rest of my life missing my Dad.