My Husband Is With Me Now In Spirit

[Guest mikaerin]

All our plans, gone all his things laying everywhere Mt friends and family leave me be but all have suggestions I hate I'm not spending more time with my young grandson as it hurts to look into his face. I'm not going to get out more, I'm not redecorating the house or start to date and just GET OUT THERE like friends think I should In fact I'm starting to question my friends and am thinking new ones are in order I want people with more depth Really I loved the lady on here who was so angry and depressed she spoke volumes to me I can't find her now on here But It made my day for her to be so blunt

[nats]

Mikaerin,

Hello, I fully understand and have felt your sorrow and pain my wife joined God on 2/14/10, things seem impossible now and the primary

focus you should have is YOU, friends, family and co-workers unless they have been on this journey have no clue what we are dealing with daily, if you have some close ones that are more understanding of your needs those are the ones you lean on, the ones that are pushing or thinking you will get over this like a cold need to be isolated until your ready....I had but a few friends before my wife left, now I have only 2 close friends and my new best friend who lost her husband in 8/09...the things you mentioned doing you will do at your pace, take your time we have no rush, take each day one by one getting to know the "new normal" as we call it, you have come to the right place we all welcome you and wish we did not have to meet like this....I pray you my find some answers and comfort here as we share our journey's with all the peaks, valley's, turn's and twist's.....

May God Bless

NATS

[Guest mikaerin]

Thank You you give good advice I have done so many things after he died I think I was numb but I had to close his business and handle taxes and yet I just can't remember how I did it I was so in pain Thats why I say he was with me in spirit I know he had a guiding hand I am a spirituralist I believe in the spirit world and I can honestly say it is proving it's self every day I do day trading which he taught me and I take care of two homes and investments , all things he and I did together I know there is "help" from him because I am amazed when I complete things My pain is heavy but the matters we had in our life are all getting done and I marvel at it He reaches out to help me I try not to be too sad I know it weights on his spirit I had a reading done and it gave me great joy and insight How else could I possibly be able to do all this But I want new energy with new friends to talk briefly to My old one just aren't happy to me Something i suspected but now see I need positive people to help me

Lori

[Dwaynecg]

Mikaerin,

I welcome you I feel the pain you have. My wife Pauline passed away 2/25/2011. After her passing I had a lot of her family call or come by. Her best friend has been the only one along with her husband, they call almost every day. It has been very difficult without her. I am starting a new life like all of you. It is not something I wanted to do but I knew that this day would come. Pauline had MS. It eats way at you little bits at a time. I took care of her for many years. Friends and family stopped coming bye or calling a long time ago. Only her best friend Donna and a friend Lisa would come over our call. Her father would call at lease once a week. Sometime he would come over but his health if failing too. I have no choice to find new friends. I think that the people here are my friends because we are all going through the same thing. So day by day I move ahead into my new life. I have made plans to start nursing school. After taking care of Pauline for so many years I found out I am good at being a nurse. So just keep moving ahead at whatever pace is good for you. There is no set rules for grieving, I still cry every day for Pauline. God helps guide us all and he put the right people in your life when you need them.

God Bless

Dwayne

[kayc]

Mikaerin,

Welcome to this site, we've all been through this loss and it's good that you're giving voice to how you feel.

those who haven't been through it cannot begin to know what we go through and feel like. They may mean well, so it's good to be respectful to them, even while you may feel like yelling at them, but it's also good to speak your mind in a sensitive way, of course. It's good to stand up for yourself and SAY "I am not interested in dating, and it's way off base to think I should be moving on". It's good to TELL them "I am grieving. To try and bypass that would be a huge setback for ME."

I wouldn't discard old friends just yet, but maybe try to make some new ones. Your life is altered and you will come to eventually know a "new normal". As such, there may be others that you haven't met yet that you might relate to better. Have you looked into a grief support group in your area? That might be a good place to start where you can meet others traveling this same path.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do right now. You will know if and when it's time to make any changes and until then, it's probably good to go with what you feel comfortable with.

My heart is with you...

Kay