My Neighbors Murdered My Cat

[babysmommy]

Some neighbors I have been having a legal dispute with broke my cat's neck and threw it behind my fence. I know it was deliberate because his collar was taken off.

I have been through the loss of pets before, from my first kitty who was run over when I was 4 to the loss of 2 cats I had had for 18 and almost 17 years which about broke my heart.

This little fellow was a feral who was brought to me by the neighborhood tomcat when he was maybe 6 weeks old, a little tiger tabby with slightly crossed eyes. He became semi-tame, never lived indoors because I have another oldster almost 17 who wouldn't have been OK with it, but Baby came daily for food and cuddles, even let me pick him up. I had him fixed and his shots and a microchip put in. He was healthy, actually chubby, sleek, a truly beautiful cat. He has a little feral pal who was his shadow, a kitty born about 3 months after him, who is devastated as am I.

I am having enough trouble dealing with his death, knowing it was murder (the police don't care as I have no 'proof' even though I reported the neighbor months ago for animal cruely for smacking another cat)....the worst part is my friends have not been there for me, which is why I came here. My 'best friend' who only lives across the street has yet to respond to my urgent crying call over 24 hours ago right after I found the body; another friend a block ove, likewise no response to both a call and a note on her door. Two out of state friends sent me trite, shallow emails, one short paragraph, and the other five lines none longer than a dozen words. Neither offered to call me (I am on Social Security and can't afford to call them even though they have cell phones with free minutes.)

The only caring response I have gotten is someone I have only exchanged a couple of emails with about cat care, she sent a warm compassionate letter.

I am dealing with grief, but also guilt for not having made him an indoor cat so he wasn't vulnerable to the neighbors, and also for having disrupted his feeding schedule the last week because I wasn't doing very well myself with upset about the legal case and about Hurricane Katrina. I think it made him easier to trap. I just don't know how I can go on. I look out the window to the fence where he used to jump up into the tree...I want to leave here, move out and never come back, but I am broke, and it would give the neighbors the final victory that their horrible act made me give up the fight.

Just don't know what to do and hope for someone to talk to here.

[Eliza]

Dear Babysmommy,

I am so, so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your Baby! My heart breaks for you both and you will both definitely be in my prayers tonight! What a horrible, pointless loss! I am so angry for you at those horrible people!

And I am so sorry to hear that your friends and neighbors haven't been there for you the way you had hoped they would. Maybe they will still come through for you. But, in any case, please know that there are many caring people out here who understand completely what a real, and devastating, loss Baby's murder is for you. Baby sounds like a really sweet kitty, and I can just imagine how difficult it is for you and his little feral pal to lose him -- and in such a violent manner!

I had a similar experience when I was a child. Some horrible teenage boys who used to pick on my brother captured my beautiful Tigger (a wonderfully sweet, smart boy) and cut his head off and threw him behind our house. I was absolutely stunned that other human beings could be so cruel! I've never gotten over the anger I feel at them or people like them. My only hope is that they ultimately feel the wrath that is due to them!

But, I know that such hateful sentiments are not helpful to you right now. Although we have to acknowledge that such people exist, we cannot change them, and so cannot be responsible for their behavior. Please don't blame yourself for being distracted by other events in your life or somehow make this your fault. You couldn't have known what evil was lurking in their hearts. The guilt you feel is a natural response to your feelings of loss and lack of control over this situation. It is part of the "anger" stage of grieving. While appropriate anger can be beneficial by relieving your feelings of pain temporarily, when you turn it toward yourself in the form of misplaced guilt, it can be very destructive.

What will be more helpful is to remember all of the love you gave Baby. I'm sure he knows how much you loved him and cared about his happiness, health and safety. What's more, I know that he has gone to a much, much better place where only caring people and other animals go. He's not in pain anymore and he can run free in the knowledge that he will always be safe. Maybe he and my Tigger will meet up and play together!

Above all else, please know that warm, loving, compassionate people like yourself will also get their just reward, which is an eternity in heaven with all of your furry babies! Please hang in there. I will be thinking about you.

Eliza

[Maylissa]

Babysmommy,

Oh, you poor dear!!! And poor Baby! I will be posting to your plea for help shortly...I'm sorry but I have things I must take care of first, but I wanted you to at least know, for now, that you're in my heart and prayers, and I wish I could undo what has been done FOR you!

[babysmommy]

Thank you Eliza and Maylissa! Eliza, I am so sorry about your Tigger!

The thing is I DID know how evil these people were. I asked myself if I was willing to take the risk of fighting them knowing they might retaliate against me but I was thinking they might attack me, or my belongings. Not my kitty.

Baby was a dear loving cat without a mean bone in his body. All he wanted was his kibble and his cuddles. He was a good friend to his little feral friend (who came by again tonight for his dinner, poor little lonely boy, he still won't let me near him. At least now he is coming in daylight not just at night. I am terrified though that they will get him too. Tomorrow I'm going to call everyone I can think of in the cat rescue community to get him out of here, and if no one will help, I will rent a trap myself, though I don't know where to take him if I catch him. I'm also going to report the killing to the local Humane Society.

My friends have been AWFUL. One has not contacted me AT ALL. The other who is supposedly so religious has yet to face me, left a smarmy card full of excuses which included an outright lie. This is what it means to be a lay Franciscan, when St. Francis was the patron of animals? I called her a HYPOCRITE and that is what she is, going off to her 'spiritual formation' instead of performing a spiritual act of mercy to be with me in my grief. It's people like that who make others think badly of Christians, people who claim to be but are only interested in being seen as holy, not actually doing good works.

I alternate between shock, sickness, anger, and unbearable sadness. I miss my beautiful sweet boy so much! I have never known a cat who was so loving and trusting against all odds. No animal deserve his fate, or Tigger's. People who do things like this, I'm sorry, I believe they should go to a special hell.

Thank you again for your goodness and compassion --far more than I have received from people to whom I have given years of my life in friendship.

[Maylissa]

Dear babysmommy.

What can I say that would possibly ease any of your pain?! This is a tragedy! My mind is running from wondering what legal recourse could you pursue, to just wanting to HELP you in some way! I know you definitely need a willing and empathetic ear, and THAT, for certain, I can give. and !!!!

Where I live, I've heard of many such similar instances where horrible, spiteful people take their frustrations out on cats, more so than dogs, and there often is little that anyone in authority will do about it....unless it hits the news. Is there a newspaper you could contact to do a special piece on what happened ( w/o saying anything that could construed as slanderous, even if you KNOW in your heart that your neighbours are the culprits )? It's possible someone else saw something that could help lay charges against them. Or does your local H.S. have investigating officers who might be willing to look into it? (here, they most often won't, but every place is different) We even have a private, local no-kill shelter, run by one woman who is a dear friend of mine, who has had her neighbour trap a couple of her cats, luring them with bait into his yard, after which they simply disappeared, and there was nothing she could do except put safeguards in place all around her house so the cats can't escape. She worries constantly, as I always do. I never let my gal go anywhere outside our yard without me, and make sure everyone knows where she is, I'm not far behind....just in case anyone's thinking of any funny business. ( I also always made sure neither one of my kidlets ever damaged or soiled anything belonging to anyone else, just so there were no excuses anyone could use ). You might also try posting your story on the Lightning-Strike site (my apologies to Admin. if referrals aren't allowed, but this person need help quick! ), as there are tons of knowledgeable and like-minded people there who may have some better suggestions or experience with such tragedies. Were it me, I would be looking into every possible avenue to see if justice could be done, using my rage constructively so that it didn't eat me up alive inside. Do you have the collar, or would they possibly still be in possession of it ( this could be evidence of foul play )? Perhaps it's in their garbage? Or can you see a trap in their yard, or food they may have used? And for the feral cat, can you find a good-quality no-kill shelter around? ( some aren't as well-run as others and conditions might not be good enough, although it still might be better than certain death in a kill shelter, as ferals aren't usually pushed as adoptable )

As for your so-called friends, that's equally as horrible, although, sad to say, I'm not terribly surprised, as humans often fail animal-lovers in the most coldly-blatant ways. Those who have not been fortunate enough to have had wonderful, fulfilling relationships with other species just don't get it, period, and will often not only turn a blind eye, but may also attack one for loving animals....heaven forbid you should love them as much or even more than 'superior' humans! My own Mother scoffed, once, at my continuing grief for the loss of my furboy...but I'll tell you, she only dared do this once! I hung up on her and knowing what she wanted most was to talk to her only daughter, I wouldn't answer her calls for an entire month, until she knew there would be such consequence for her dishonouring of mine and my cat's bond. She never bothered me again about it, and in fact, would always make sure to ask after my furgirl's ( his sister ) health all the time. I would definitely be telling your friends, in a calm tone, but firmly, how their treatment of you in your grief has you feeling. If they can't or won't handle it, would you ever trust them again with your heart anyway? I feel for you, though, as you need support NOW, and to lose it from your friends is a shocking blow.....been there myself, so I know how it impacts your life.

You could also hold a personalized memorial service for your dear Baby, to let him know you honour your bond. If you feel guilty, know that we all suffer from it usually, one way or another, just because we love them so much and want the best for them. You can't really blame yourself for not having HAD the thought of retaliation against HIM, in the first place. If it didn't occur to you, it just didn't. Now you know better and all you can do is do your best to learn from it, do your best to be more careful from now on.

Truly, I can't imagine the horror I would be experiencing from such an event....my mind utterly recoils from the idea and I think I would feel like I was losing my mind. So just as many parents often take on causes, or fight in the court system, or whatever, when someone kills their children, I'd probably feel compelled to do the same sort of thing, to give my baby's tragic ending some good result, to counteract the evil that was done. It is just......devastatingly painful, and I wish I could wave my magic wand for you and make it all go away.

And P.S. to Eliza - I'm equally as horrified for Tigger's murder!! I had no idea! My heart is just dripping with sympathy for you, too!! How you got over that, I have no clue.....

[Eliza]

Dear Babysmommy,

I have to say I agree with Maylissa's advice here. Your senseless, horrible loss is so much harder to bear because of the way your Baby was taken from you. If I had faced my Tigger boy's death as an adult, I'm sure I would have gone crazy if I hadn't done SOMETHING to channel my rage. As it is, I was in shock as a child (I was about 8 years old) and have harbored a hatred in my heart for such evil people as an adult. I still grieve for Tigger and am absolutely heartbroken for you and Baby.

Even if you find that there is little you can do to obtain retribution for Baby against these people (because of difficulty finding sufficient evidence, etc.), at least you can call attention to such senseless violence and help others to protect their own loved ones. That would be a lovely way to honor Baby's sweet, loving nature! And I also agree that it will help ease your fear about further acts of violence by protecting Baby's little pal and your other loved ones. I would definitely look into a safe place for Baby's pal to go. In my area, there are several really good no-kill shelters, so I hope very much that you can find such a place where you live.

And I think it is important to honor your bond with Baby by holding a ceremony of some kind. Many people participate in a Monday evening candle-lighting service. Please look at petloss.com for more information on that and on the Rainbow Bridge. This has given me comfort and helped me to celebrate the love I have shared with my dearly departed loved ones.

I am so sorry that your friends have continued to let you down. Please keep reaching out to those who DO understand! Pet loss websites are a good source of information about what you're going through, and you may be able to find a pet loss support group in your area that you can attend. It is so important to surround yourself with people who understand how strong and important our bonds with our animal babies are! Also, I have found that a book called "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan has been a wonderful source of comfort for me. It's available on amazon.com.

I hurt so much for you and Baby! I am thinking about you and praying for you and I hope that you can soon feel some relief from the terrible emotions you're feeling right now.

Take good care of yourself,

Eliza

[babysmommy]

Thank you both so much! The last couple of days I have been on a roller coaster of emotions, sadness, rage, thoughts of revenge. I went over to one of the "friends" and she would not open her door. I know she was home. I called a mutual friend who reminded me she warned me 3 years ago not to get involved with this person, and you know, she was right. She said she was a self absorbed narcissistic person with a good 'act' of being 'nice.' I told her she could say "I told you so" but she said she didn't intend to gloat, she just wanted me to know that she gave this person emotional support for TEN YEARS before pulling the plug because she was always giving and whenever SHE needed another this girl was never there. At least I only wasted a couple years on her, not a decade.

I have had trouble controlling my emotions so I have not done anything other than report the killing to the City Attorney where I live; he's a slimy liar, but at least it's on record. I told him I am not making any accusations but gave reasons why I would suspect the person I do. When I feel calmer next week I am definitely calling Humane Societies and other groups.

I do want to have a burial for Baby...in fact I know this sounds gross, but I still have his body--quadruple wrapped in a plastic bag and in a duffel bag in the back of my truck. I could not bring myself to throw him in a dumpster. When I feel stronger I am going to get a shovel, go up in the mountains, and find a pretty spot, a sunny glad like my side yard where he always loved to sit, and give him a decent burial.

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions! If I don't respond right away please know I will, but sometimes I just am overwhelmed and can't even confront how lonely I am.

I have seen his little pal several times, most recently this evening; he is confused and lonely, I can tell he's waiting for his 'uncle' to come back. It breaks my heart. I think I am going to need to trap him and find someone to keep him for me temporarily in a no kill shelter till I get a new place. I don't know how to do that, I'm broke with bad credit, but I can't stay here. I ran into one of my neighbors on the driveway tonight (unfortunately not literally) and just felt sick. They are lucky they didn't do this to someone who had no self control or it would be their necks snapped next.

More tomorrow....

[Maylissa]

babysmommy,

Just thought I should let you know, for safety's sake, if you're keeping Baby's body right now, if you have a deep-freeze, you should store him in there. That's what was suggested to me, when I was as yet undecided as to whether I would cremate, bury at home or use a pet cemetary. Bodies decompose quite quickly if not kept very cold, and if someone notices any odour, you could be in for trouble. And if you do bury, if it's not on land you own, you may get charged if caught. If you bury in your yard, local bylaws should be checked first, as while many places allow this for small animals, usually you must bury 3 feet deep, minimum, so as not to attract other animals who may dig for the body. Depending on what the local bylaws state, and also what local animal crematoriums allow, you also may or may not be able to take up a body again, for later cremation. Sorry to be so graphic, but these are things you must know, for yourself and for Baby's body's safety.

[babysmommy]

I tried to get on this board a few days and ago and it said account suspended; I decided to try again and it's back!

I finally called the Humane Soceity and they took Baby, but it was too late to do a necropsy to determine cause of death. However, the officer who came agreed with me that it was likely foul play, and the local police paid a visit to the property manager and told him if anything happened to my other little feral or to me or any of my property they were going to come straight to him.

Nothing could bring back Baby even if they put him in jail forever.

Edit: The Humane Soceity is holding Baby's body, I am hoping I can raise the money to have him cremated, the officer said to tell the person in charge how poor I am and mayhbe they will give me a discount.

[Eliza]

Dear Babysmommy,

I'm glad you kept trying to come back to this site! I'm very glad to hear that the Humane Society and the local police haven't let you down! It must help to have others know what truly happened and to have the property manager told that the police are keeping an eye on him! Good for you!!

I know that nothing will bring your darling Baby back, and it doesn't help to dwell for too long on the evil that exists in the world. What will help more is to remember all the love that Baby brought to you and to continue to honor that love. I hope you've found some comfort in the past couple of weeks. It is too soon to really be feeling better, but I hope there has been some peace that has creeped in. You are such a loving soul, and I know that Baby is in a better place and is watching over you.

I would definitely look into getting a discount on cremation. It would be nice to have him back with you in your house. I have all of my three beloved furbabies' ashes in my living room, and it is such a comfort to me to have them there with me. Whatever it takes to make you feel better is what you need to do!

Take care and trust in God that he's taking good care of your Baby!

Hugs,

Eliza

[lovedoxies]

Dear Babysmommy, I am so very sorry to hear about your tragic lost. I am grateful that you're finding fellowship here. This site helped me and continues to help me. I'm also glad that the Humane society & police are coming around to help you. I do hope that the Humane society will cremate your precious cat at no charge. You might want to speak with the shelter manager, maybe that will help. I'm also sorry that your friends don't understand the depth of your loss. But you're surrounded in this room by people who do understand. You're in my thoughts & prayers.

[babysmommy]

Thank you for your answers!

I have to live in the same apartment complex with the one who murdered my cat and two days this past week I ran into him in places I never see him, at the grocery store and 7-11. It was all I could do not to run up to him and claw his eyes out but I stayed calm and didn't even look at him. I think he wants me to do something crazy to discredit myself but I'm not going to, I'm going to handle this calmly and carefully. Tomorrow I am going to court to get a restraining order to keep him away from me. If they grant it and he violates it, he can go to jail. Also if they grant it he has to turn in any guns he has and can't buy any for the duration of the order. I think if he could kill my cat he could kill me, and while I know if he's crazy he's not going to pay any attention to the restraining order, if he's not crazy but just a bully it might make him think twice. He's a big ugly fat sissy and believe me, if he ends up in jail he'll wish he'd never messed with me or my cat.

Thanks again for all your encouragement. It really helps to know other people understand and care. I know everyone who comes here has also lost their loving little friends too