Angry Again Just A Rant

[hello123]

Just got my degree results and its ruined my day, whats the point of getting good the ONLY one person i want to share it with isnt here I am SO sick of having nobody to talk to who understands, all my friends are probably out with their families celebrating, they write things on facebook like THANK U GOD U KNOW BEST FOR EVERYONE BLA BLA stupid stuff makes me so angry its alright for them all! I try and talk to people they dont understand, I try and talk to someone who I thought would know how I feel he tells me he cant talk to me I've tried writing but it seems stupid before I wrote to my dad whats the point he cant see it. I am just so angry, I cant feel sorry for anyone unless they have had something terrible and lost someone YOUNG I know people worse off than me feel the same way but im sick of the only people losing their parent being old I cant talk to them, who do I talk to then nobody, people say its better to talk to offload but who to? Ive finished counselling now who do I talk to the only person I want to talk to is him!!!!

[mfh]

You both have come to the right spot...we all get it and we vent too here and there. I am sorry for your losses and I know the silence of the house, the silence that echoes when you want to share something good or have a cup of tea with someone. It is all so lonely. Mary

[niamh]

hi hello123,

OH I am sorry for your pain after doing something so huge like getting your degree results and not being able to tell your Dad in person. I do get that really there are times when absolutely nobody else matters, your Dad is the only person you want to talk to, nobody else is good enough and it's beyond horrible.

It is so hard and that's an understatement to see others celebrating with their families and you have such a huge void. I only wish there were words of comfort, all I can say is that I can relate to some of it.

You ask about who you can talk to, are there any grief support groups in your area ? I went to a 10 week one (only wish it had been a permanent thing) and there was definitely something "good" about sitting face to face with someone else who is living it all at the same time you are. Maybe if there have them you might find someone young like yourself who you can connect with.

I still get angry too 18 months later & at times get so frustrated at other people's "bad days" when part of me sometimes thinks they have no clude, I'd take their "bad days" 1000000 times worse all day everyday as long as I could have my Dad too.

I do still talk to my Dad, yep sometimes I feel like I'm talking to thin air and think why bother, yet other times I try to remind myself that he simply has to be out there knowing every single thing that still goes on in my life here, he just has to be.

I'd like to think your Dad is beaming with pride on you getting your degree but for now we just can't sense them around us.

sending you lots of love, hugs and comfort and such a BIG WELL DONE on getting your degree.

Niamh

xx

[hello123]

aww thank you so much! That def cheered me up! x

[niamh]

thank you so much, that's such a nice thing to hear and made me smile too, not much does these days as you well know too! xox

[drock]

Hello 123 I do the same as niamh. I'm always talking with my mother. I have a picture in my bedroom so I say good morning and goodnight to her everyday and I got this dog tag locket with her picture in it with some stuff engraved on it. So I have my mother with me all the time. I'm always telling my mother about things or laughing about certain commercials or other things we used to enjoy together. Don't get me wrong I'm not walking around talking to my mother in front of everybody. It's my own private moments between my mother and myself. Is she there listening? I don't know for sure but it helps me keep connected to her and keeps her still in my life. Even if she is not there all the time I choose to believe she stops by once in awhile and hears what I'm saying to her. It doesn't take the pain away but it does help me get through some of these tough days.

kawaiinicole people say stupid things. They either haven't experienced real loss themselves or if they did loose someone maybe they didn't experience full grief. A comment like what the person gave to you would make me a bit angry also. I was the 24 hr primary care person for my mother. One of the best things I've done in my life by the way. Anyways when talking about my mother this guy says " look at the silver lining, you have free time to do stuff for yourself now." I know he meant well but I think I would take my mother being here with me as opposed to having some free time for myself.

The thing to keep in mind is to not take what people say to seriously. Especially online! Besides places like this were it is safe to let things out there are alot of places where people feel a need to attack others. These people get brave because they are not there in front of you to face you in person. In real life they would probably be to petrified to say a word to you. Pay no mind to these ignorant comments! Someday they will experience the same thing and realize how stupid their comments were. Again they are either just negative people that are not worth time inside your head or they are just people that just don't know what to say to you. Just let this stuff go in one ear and out the other.

[hello123]

Thank you Drock, I wish I could do that but I get too angry and its just too weird for me And Kawaiinicole I know what you mean about not wanting to burden anyone it seems nobody wants to hear!

[Aquarius7]

I know how you feel. The grief hits me most in the evenings. I get so mad and upset cause my mom & I lived together and now she's just gone. My best friend, my buddy who I'd share so much with. It's almost been 3 months and the longer the worse it's getting for me.

I had an online friend tell me I was sulking and that made me so angry because I've kept working, and only took a week and a few days off for bereavement days. I've also moved and tried to start over again; but it's so hard not having someone to talk to and not wanting to burden anyone with my poor me feelings.

Hi Kawaiinicole,

I can relate to how you feel. I too lived with my Mom and was thrown out of our house by my idiot siblings because they are greedy and want the money. Nobody seems to get just how angry I am about their insensitivity and cruelty. And nobody seems to want to listen to my feelings anymore. I try to control it, but feel I have to talk to someone who will listen! People who have not lost both parents just do not get it!

As for moving, I am in a very small place. It is okay, but I do not want to live the resr of my life there. I have been to California twice this year and fell in love with it. I had been there before but love it now more than ever. In fact, I think I am more happy there than here. If I can afford to move there, I am going eventually.

Time to begin a totally new life.