Brings Me Back To Tragedy.

[Stacy McDonald]

I have lost 4 people or so, like a lot. It's like one-by-one. Months after months. I've recovered few months ago but just now when I watch LION KING MUSICAL Theatre, when Musfasa came out back a live, it says: "Have you forgotten about me Simba? Remember who you are" And I was like "Wth how can Simba remembers u when you're gone and the more he remembers you the more he's hurt" I shed a tear.It affects me. I don't know.I cried a lot after that show. I now kinda have a fear of seeing or hearing people dies. It can bring me back to tragedy, my heart hurts so much I don't know what to do Usually I get no respect for my grieving, I didn't share my emotions to anyone. I deal with this alone, is this a good thing? Usually no one cares it's like I have to make myself feel better :/ why do I have fears of hearing people dies? How does this whole thing work? i don't understand lots of things. ._.

[Cheryl]

Hi Stacy,

I am sorry that you have lost so many people in a short amount of time. It must be very difficult to sort out all the feelings and losses. There are often things that trigger my grief. I will watch a show or hear a song or see somthing along the street which will make me remember what I once had and now have lost.

It is not a good thing to grieve alone. It would help if you could find someone who will just listen to you without giving advice or trying to stop you from feeling. I have been told that the best way to get through the pain is to allow yourself to feel the pain. To tell yourself what it is that is making you sad. To talk about or write about the things you have lost and the way it effects you. I think you will find that it will have to be repeated many times, over and over you will have to feel the pain in order for it to be weakened.

It's not that people don't care about your pain, it's that they don't understand what you are feeling and they want you to be happy. They think that if you don't think about it, it will go away. The pain will not go away until you allow yourself to feel the pain over and over. You have fears about people dieing because it makes you sad each time and you don't like that feeling. But living always results in dieing. Nothing lasts forever and things are always changing. This is the cycle of life. I can't tell you how things work but I can tell you that you are not alone in your fears and your pain. I have found a lot of support through this website. Be sure to go to several areas on the site to hear the perspectives from all the different people. Regardless of who we lost we all share a common sadness.

I hope that you will keep searching for answers and remember that it is okay to be sad and it is okay to cry.

Hugs, Cheryl

[Stacy McDonald]

WOW THANK YOU CHERYL! =DDD!! best answers ever...

[mfh]

Hi Stacy, I am so sorry for your losses. You came to the right place. You can not keep the pain locked up inside. Eventually it will come back in other ways and when you bury sad feelings alive, you end up burying other feelings also. Keep posting on here....others will reach out to you. Think about a grief support group in your area....not sure where you live but check the hospitals, Hospice etc. People who have not lost someone close to them just do not understand or are fearful. They do not mean to hurt you but they do not know what to say or do. That is why a support group is good. Everyone in the group gets it. Stick with us...we are all on the same painful path. I lost the love of my life almost 16 months ago. Each day I get up and prepare to climb Mt. Everest...but it is easier more often. Grief comes in waves...some knocking you over..others washing by your feet. Mary

[drock]

I'm sort of in the same boat as you as far as not really sharing my grief. I do have my father here which was a help in the first couple of weeks but we don't really talk much about it now. My sisters don't really talk much about it at all either. Since I've been constantly taking care of my mom for the last 5 or 6 yrs I lost touch with any friends. So I pretty much grieve on my own. A support group would be a good idea but I have not got around to that. It think what has helped me alot is educating myself on grief. I have read a few books,read article online, read a bunch of post on this site and learned what I'm going through. Through alot of trial and error I have been trying to face my grief head on. I've made some mistakes like trying to force myself to cry, I had some problems with this, but I have learned to just face it head on and whether I feel like I have to tear up or I feel depressed I just go with it. I never know what tomorrow will bring as far as my mood with this all but I know that good days are ahead. There will be bad days but we are not doomed to every waking moment being bad ones. When I have these bad days I don't try to run away and distract myself. I run though whatever thoughts I have going on in my head and I guess as a sort of a reward I try to remember some happy thoughts of my mom which makes me laugh or smile.

As a matter of fact I just came from my moms gravesite and I was down a bit and just coming on here and writing this has helped cheer me up a little. It's good to let it out even if it's just coming on here and posting. Everyone here is very supportive!