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Hi all , I just wanted to tell you about my Birthday. It was a good day, lots of wishes and to top it of my spouses parents which have not been to my house since he passed away 2 years ago stopped in.I visit them often. She does not even call me i do the calling. His mom brought me a card and a present and i asked them to come in but they sat outside by my pond. I was so happy even it was for a short period of time that they stayed. I realize that it has been hard for them . When they left i cried. Why, really i don't know. My kids keep wondering why i even bother with them. That s because that is the way i am. They were his parents. I have invited them but they have always declined but i know its cause he passed in the house. So maybe its a start and they will come more often if not that's ok to. Have a good day all. Mrs. B.

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Mrs. B

When we our life partner passes away, it effects everyone different. You lost the LOVE of your life. Your children lost their Father. His parents lost a son. It is a different grief for each one of you. As Pauline's MS got worse family and friends stopped coming by and even calling. It was very hard for her. I took her in my arms and told her that it is them that has something to deal with. It is not you, they still love you and you them. It did help her to understand and cope with it a little better.

The same goes for you. I think you are so right, it is hard for them to see you and the house and your children without their son. I do believe it is a good first step for them as well as for you. It will take time, like all things do it doesn't happen over night. I still only hear from Pauline's Dad and her younger sister. Her Brother and older Sister I hear nothing from. Even after calling and leaving messages they do not call back. I accept and gone with my life.

I do believe they will come back again as you heal so do they. I hope I can only help you in some way. That is the most important thing right now. I wish you the best that life can offer.

God Bless, you and your family, my he, bring peace upon you and bring comfort to your soul

Dwayne

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Dear Mrs. B.,

My wife's father and sister have a very tough time coming through the door. They used to come by every Sunday before Jane's mother died. It took months to get them back into the rhythm of that following that death. It equally took months to get them through the door after Jane's death. And they rarely come without a specific invitation--and then not always. I think it may have to do, as you suggest, with too many memories. But it does make it hard.

Peace,

Harry

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