Jump to content

How Long Before Enthusiasm Comes Back?


Recommended Posts

How long has it taken you to get your enthusiasm for doing things back? I've made improvements from feeling depressed all of the time to having what I call good days. This is just basically not feeling completely depressed. I still have to force myself to do things. The things that absolutely need to get done I get done but when it comes to things I would normally want to do I can't get enthusiastic about it. For example I play guitar and I try to sit down and play but I'm lucky if I can play for a half hour where I used to go for multiple hours before. I'm just not into doing it at all. I have forced myself to go out to shows or to the park and I don't really feel like being there at all. Most of the time I either sit and vedge on the tube or surf the net. I try to get myself to do things but it's such a chore. Even just taking a shower is a chore. I miss the feeling of being excited to do things or being excited because I just completed something. Even the things that would have me smiling ear to ear before my mom passed does absolutely nothing for me. I have no joy in my life anymore. Did it take awhile for at least a little bit of joy to creep back into your life?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear drock

I wish I could answer your question but I am still wondering myself. I do the essentials, dabble with non-essentials, socialize but my heart is not into it....I will wait it out and see what happens. It is 15 months since my life turned upsidedown. We have to trust that our lives will see joyful moments again. Mary

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i was thinking the same thing...i force myself to keep up the yard and horses.....i use to have a passion for such......use to have the best roses in town...but now.....

guess i need to keep forcing myself to do these things...and hopefully the passion will return! or maybe this is the new me... dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Nicholas

A very good question and it must vary greatly from individual to individual - after six months and a bit I am still having to force myself to do routine tasks, and not always succeeding. Bad days & less bad days. It must also depend on your friend and support network.

Nicholas

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well these weren't the life inspiring answers I was hoping for! lol :huh: Seriously though I guess it's a matter of just pushing on with a routine and doing things instead of sitting and doing nothing along with the reality that some days it's just not going to happen. I thought I was pretty good at handling life's challenges and I never thought this would be as hard as it is. I've had some hard things I've been through through my life but this has definitely been the hardest!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Drock, it has been 8 months since my mom passed. For a first few months, I had bad days and "less bad" days. Then the "less bad" days turned into OK days. Now I find that I have OK days and days that are almost good. I do definitely have good moments and bad moments everyday. At first, it was very difficult to do ANYTHING at all. I wanted to stay in bed and sleep and ignore the world. My husband and a couple friends have forced me into social situations and I find that it helped. There are still times I just can't deal with being around people, and there are certain events I just haven't been able to go to (my sister-in-law's baby shower, my in-laws' Mother's Day celebration), but I find that I can get through the more mundane tasks.

Everyone is different. Take your time and don't beat yourself up about it. It's OK to have trouble dealing with even the simplest things. The best advice I've received from this board is: be kind to yourself. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to stay inside and veg on the couch, do it. If you feel up to going out, go out.

Erin

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'm in the bad days with less bad days and I've had about two ok days so far. I'm not a big crier but the lack of ambition and the depressed days really get exhausting. I imagine this gets more bearable as the ok days increase.

It's kind of funny I forced myself to go out to a concert the other week. As I said I'm not really a crier so I don't cry much. A balled comes on and it starts to remind me of her. There I was, a guy at a hard rock concert and I'm trying not to cry. I know you should let yourself cry when it happens but there are certain places where for a guy it's just not the place. Being at a hard rock concert and crying when your watching the band is not the place. :) It was a good night except for the last song which kind of bummed me out.

So anyways thanks and hopefully my ok days will increase pretty soon!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Drock, it's funny you mentioned being at a concert and feeling the need to cry. The same thing happened to me! Except I didn't even have the excuse of a ballad or anything -- it was right before the show started and it hit me that I wouldn't be able to go home and tell my mom about it. I was just overwhelmed and almost lost it right then and there. I forced myself to stay composed because I didn't want to be the weirdo crying, but it was hard.

Erin

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yea, that was getting me on the way home from the concert. The few times I would go to a show she would still be up when I got home. She would have to wait until I got home so I could help her go to bed but she stayed up till around 2 am each night anyways. I would also tell her about the show and gab a little. This time coming home and not having her there sucked.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been 11 months for me and I can't answer that. If you want to read my whole story, go read my posts if you are interested. But I besides grieving immensely, I have been engaged in battles with my siblings. It continues to this day unfortunately. Much of my ability to feel enthused has been taken away from me. I lost my house which was also my place to practice and everything else. I am not a happy individual and feel very much off balance. I just try to do what I can and think that my Mom and Dad would want me to continue. It comes and goes. Take your time. There is no such thing as rushing grief.

Unlike my idiot and heartless siblings, I have studied and found out through my own experiences that this is not something you "get over" and "move on" from. In fact, attempting to do those things is counterproductive. One of my siblings is finding that out lately. He took a job out of state that he wishes he did not (has not moved yet though), is having sleepless nights, crying a lot and seeing a psychologist. All because of his avoiding grief and not facing it and embracing it. Because of his arrogance and know it all attitude towards me, I cannot say that I feel sorry for him whatsoever. The whole time I was crying and grieving, he kept telling me to "man up" and to "get a job". Well, he is getting his upcommence now. I just hope my other sibling gets his too, but even more so. He is even worse to me about this horrible loss, which he keeps seeing as "well, people get old and die." Horrible! Just horrible!

Sorry to divert. Take your time and do what you can little by little.

God bless you. We are all here for you and for each other.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...