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My Xh's Partner Died


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Some of you have been around here long enough to know that my (now ex) husband, John, left me for a woman, Margaret, 16 years younger than me, back in 2008. He just called...she passed away 05/24/2011. When he tried to tell me about it, he couldn't even talk, I knew he was all choked up. As you recall, this man cheated on me and took me for over $50,000...she was his affair partner. I feel no glee in knowing she died, only sad, for him...for her. I know they loved each other and although he didn't always treat her well, I know he cared about her...obviously more than he ever had for me. You'd think I'd feel gloating or something, but I don't, I feel sorry for him, in spite of what they did to me. Death is death, and it's hard to deal with no matter who you are or what you deserve...I don't wish bad on anyone, and this is just a hard thing. I told him I wouldn't say any stupid trite things that people say, that I'm just sorry and here if he wants to talk.

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Dear Kay,

Sorry to hear the news. I know you must have very mixed feelings about his loss. Death is not ease on anyone, who did have a lot of love for the one they lost. I just hope it does not bring you down as well. Stay strong and I will keep you in my prayers. I am her for you any time you need to talk. Don't hesitate to call any time.

God Bless

Dwayne

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Hi Kay,

You are most gracious and you know the pain he has. I am sorry you even have to deal with this right now but you are surely doing it right.

Mary

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Kay, dear, I'm so sorry to learn this sad news. You have one of the purest hearts of anyone I've ever known, and it saddens me to know that people like these two would take advantage of that. I suppose your ex is more to be pitied than scorned, and I admire your empathy for his loss and your willingness to listen if he needs to talk. Just be careful, stay strong, don't let his vulnerability get to you, and remember always to protect your own sweet heart first.

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Gotcha! He could never lure me back in, I know him too well. But I'm amazed, I DON'T have mixed feelings. Margaret called me a few times and I know she genuinely loved him. Of course I don't agree what either of them did to me but that's a separate issue. The fact is, I wouldn't wish on ANYONE what I know grief to be.

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I am relieved to know you can't be drawn in. I was nervous about that but did not have the nerve to speak up as Marty did. Also watch your own fatigue level as you have been through a lot....a whole lot. Mary

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No wait a minute, I changed my mind.

He cheated on you and took $50k. That takes you know what to call you I don't care what it is about.

I am not a mean person but you are a better person than me Kay.

I cannot type here what I would have said to him.

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