Maylissa Posted September 19, 2005 Report Share Posted September 19, 2005 I just spent the last 3 days waiting for yet another promised phone call, with its inherent promise of support, only to be bitterly disappointed yet again. I had one, lone cousin who had contacted me awhile after my Mother and brother died. She had promised at that time to call me again w/i a couple of weeks, to talk more. My main plea to her involved just having someone who had shared some of my past, in younger years, to share memories of my Mom and brother, since the 2 remaining members of my immediate family were a complete wash in that area. She promised to call. When weeks, then months, went by with still no call, I broke down and called her back. She apologized, we talked more, and she swore she'd then call within a few more weeks. It has now been about 8 months. I'd just received a 6-wk.belated birthday card from her in the mail, where she said she had some pictures she'd be sending of my Mom in younger years ( I'd asked if she or her mom had any they could copy for me ), AND that she had time off and would call on Sept. 16,17, or 18th. She also mentioned that she's hardly talking to her own mother anymore and she'd explain all that, too. Her mother is the aunt of mine who bombed out on me when my brother died after my Mom, and is one of my Mom's sisters. This cousin knew all about what had happened between us. So I had foolishly gotten my hopes up again, thinking NO ONE is that specific if they don't mean it, and figured I'd be hearing all about what took her so long to finally call me. WRONG AGAIN.When Sunday night was almost over, I realized she had broken her promise again, for sure. My husband suggested I could always call HER again, and ask what happened. But I CAN'T! At this point, it would feel WAY too much like begging for crumbs of support that no one in this family is willing, by their own volition, to give me. THAT'S not support in its true sense - that's only a feeling of obligation, or being coerced, and not the same thing at all! Even if her plans had changed, one would think that out of common courtesty ( maybe not common at ALL anymore! ), she would have called just to let me know this plan would be delayed...especially since she's screwed up the exact same thing twice before! How do people sleep nights, acting like this to others?! I know I would never do something like that to anyone, especially if I'd actually promised, and most especially in writing! I'm left feeling like I really don't matter much, my grief doesn't matter much, my Mother's life didn't matter much. And how do I pull myself out of my ongoing depression, when situations just like this one only serve to reinforce those kinds of thoughts, the same ones that are bringing me such pain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now