kayc Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 It has now been over three months since my beloved soul mate left...and it feels like at least 50 years. The more time that passes, he feels further away to me. I don't want to lose him. How do I keep him alive? I write to him in an ongoing letter, I kiss his picture good night, I still wear my wedding ring, but I'm so afraid of losing him. Where is he? How is he feeling? I hope a lot better than I am. I go on because I have to, but nothing about my life is the same. It's hard for me to remember good times when they seem so far removed from what my life is now. Now is lonliness, emptiness, a lack of meaningful purpose, no love. A far cry from what we had and shared. I wait for heaven to arrive for me...but it's hard to focus on that when I am caught up in the everydayness of life...going to work, paying bills, cleaning, doing laundry, getting the car fixed, the furnace repaired...where is heaven? When is my time? I know I shouldn't ask "why", it's futile, but why am I left here? I know we are supposed to ask "what am I supposed to learn/do/go from here" not the "why" but it's all so hard to understand. This is a long arduous process... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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