Lainey Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 I'm nearing the two year mark and am looking for answers that apply to the people that are past the terrible first year and still not sure about many things. I've checked the other topics and none seem to be what I want. Might there be need for something like this, or am I the only one feeling this way? I've spent many hours on 'Loss of Spouse' and it has been a Godsend to me. Thank you Marty for the work and love you put into GHDG. You are what makes it what it is. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Hi Lainey, I am at 17 months tomorrow and this is different than 4 months for sure. Maybe we can keep this string going for those of us who are a bit further along....I find the loneliness is harder in some ways and yet being alone is becoming more familiar to me. I miss Bill more and more as I see the various ways he was such a part of my life. I still have to do a day at a time because looking ahead to being alone forever is so tough and more real now. Finding meaning is a challenge. I feel lost without goals that matter. Maybe this kind of posting is not what you are seeking. Let me know. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted August 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Hi Mary, I'd like to keep the topic going, but am not sure if it belongs here or maybe it should be in 'New Beginnings', but that doesn't feel appropriate either. I know what you mean about missing Bill more, I'm having the same thing happening. Lars has been in my life for 43 years and it just feels wrong that he isn't by my side anymore.We were lucky enough to have 3 children,as well as 4 grandchildren and we try to have supper together on Sunday(as we did when Lars was alive),so the lonliness isn't as bad for me. This summer the g/babies were with me alot, they are 14 and 11, the 11 year olds are still wanting to do crafts and go swimming so I was busy. The nights are long and lonely, at 60 years old, I'm not sure if I want to spend the rest of my days alone. How do you know when you're ready for a new relationship? So many questions with no answers. Hope you're doing okay, I like your idea of painting, maybe I'll consider that. I do stickmen really well. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Perhaps we need to open another, separate forum with its own title and description. I invite others who are further along in their grief journey to weigh in on this idea, and let me know your thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted August 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Thanks so much Marty, I was hoping for that. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 How about calling the topic...Beyond one year or Year Two and Beyond We start looking at our lives in year two...you looking at when and if you will want another relationship, lonely nights and more. Me looking at an increased awareness of all I am missing, the road ahead, etc. I am very clear that I do not want another relationship but not clear what I want to make life meaningful. having a topic for this would be good because we miss our spouses in new ways, more in some cases like mine and yours, and are looking at what our lives will be about....It does not mean we are not grieving...it is just grieving in a new way perhaps. Thanks Marty for the new topic...whatever we call it. Tired tonight...company that I wish was not here but who leaves in the morning....a long day at Taliesin....Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 What a great idea to share thoughts after the first,second,third year and beyond. My husband died 3 years ago. My life is easier but many tears still flow. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 Lainey, Mary Lou, Melina, Marty What if we start a new Forum called Loss of Spouse, Partner, Significant Other Year Two and Beyond or something like that. Advanced makes me feel like I have made progress that I have not made....Year Two and Beyond merely says just that...we are into year two or more. Should it be a new forum or new topic? What do you think about the title? Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted August 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 Year Two and Beyond sounds perfect. I think a new forum is better than a topic, as more people that are beyond year one may look at it Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 Lainey, I agree...new Forum so people see it. Marty, is it ok to start a new Forum (Loss of Spouse, Partner, Significant Other: Year Two and Beyond)? Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 I am mulling over your ideas, dear ones. I like the idea of adding another forum for year two and beyond, and I'm thinking we might describe it this way (see below) ~ and as I think about naming and describing it, I'm wondering: Would we want to limit it only to those whose spouses, partners or significant others have died? I like Second Year and Beyond ~ I'm wondering ~ What would you think of calling it Living with Loss? Are there any other suggestions out there? I'm thinking of a description along these lines: This forum is for those whose grief is no longer fresh and raw, and whose issues may differ from those who are newly bereaved. You may have made it through the second year and beyond, but you're still in need of the companionship, understanding and support of others you'll find here as you continue on your journey. You may wish to share with others what you've learned along the way, some signs of your own progress, how this experience has changed you, what discoveries you've made about yourself, or where you plan to go from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 Marty, your idea sounds just fine to me. Expanding it to all who are living with loss...at some point grief is grief...whoever it is that we lost. I like your wording a lot also. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Thank you for the feedback, Mary ~ Anyone else care to comment before we move ahead on this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted August 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Marty, I also agree that the title and wording are perfect. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Den's Gail Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 I think it sounds good also Marty. It may differ some for those of us with the loss of a spouse though because of the responsibilities we need to do on our own versus other losses. What do you think? Do you think others would mind reading about those things? Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 Gail, I think each loss is unique. Those who lost a child deal with different things as do those who lost a parent, a pet, etc. I think we will all reach out to each other because the common denominator is loss. I do believe loss of a spouse is very unique because our lives are so intertwined and yes we have to take over so much... but then a parent who loses a child has a different set of issues. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Hi Everyone, I am thankful for this new forum.I do agree that a loss of a spouse is very unique. All losses are unique and have there own challenges. Thanks Marty. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now