Suzanne R. Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 How do I get through one night without you If I had to live without you What kind of life would that be Oh I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold You're my world, my heart, my soul If you ever leave Baby you would take away everything good in my life And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive How do I, how do I Oh, how do I live Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky There would be no love in my life There'd be no world left for me And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do I'd be lost if I lost you If you ever leave Baby you would take away everything real in my life And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive How do I, how do I Oh, how do I live Please tell me baby How do I go on If you ever leave Baby you would take away everything Need you with me Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive How do I, how do I Oh, how do I live How do I live without you How do I live without you baby How do I live I finally found these words without having to listen to the singer. All I wanted to do was make the point that I will never have an answer. I was mistaken about the meaning to this song. On January 1, 1998 a very dear person who befriended me and I talked with for hours on the phone every night for 7 months and my husband never complained because she helped me so much. A week after my friend died I was doing my walking at the Y and this song came on by Leann Rhymes and I cried silently to myself. When I heard 'How do I live without you' I thought it meant that the singer was talking about someone who left her. But I never really heard, "If you ever leave" and so I was really shocked. I don't have an answer since he (my husband) really did go without me, I am living this horrible nightmare when I think, "how do I get through one (more) night without you", "how do I live without you", "how do I breathe without you", "how do I ever, ever survive", "how do I ever go on" because my answer is "I can't," "I can't, "I can't," "I can't," "I can't." He is my world, my heart and my soul. Everything good that was in my life was taken away when he died. Now, there is no sun in my sky, there is no love in my life, Danny, I can't get through one night without you, I can't live without you, I can't breathe without you and I will never, ever survive without you. I think I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life weeping for you. I don't want to, but I can't get over you. I think in years to come when I'm gone all those who will live here in this apartment after me will hear ghostly cries, me sobbing, weeping, laughter turned into tears because they just keep coming, an internal waterfall of tears that stop only momentarily. They will most likely have to ask 'who used to live here' and they would find out it was Dan & Sue, it must be Sue that you hear crying because it was he who died first. Suzanne (Sue) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 I know Suzanne, it seems impossible to live without him. That song always makes my heart ache. I have not figured out how to live without Larry, maybe I've not tried, maybe I don't want to. I loved the life I had, the man I had and how he loved me. It just won't ever be the same for me. I wanted to tell you I understand. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Hi Sue, I so understand your pain. I ache all the time from the pain of losing Bill. I do not know how we go on but we do. I do one day at a time...it is all I can do...sometimes an hour at a time. The days are empty. There is a hole in my spirit the size of the Grand Canyon. Everywhere I go is lonely, every event I attend is boring...I know your ache. But I know that I have some purpose here...I am searching for it and will fulfill it until I join Bill on the other side of death's threshold. There are people in pain that I can help. At the very least, I can do that. And each day between now and the day I die, I will grieve the loss of my love, Bill. I believe in time you will find a reason to go on...and someday you will be united again with Dan. I do not mean to preach...believe me. I am profoundly sad and weep daily. I also know that I have to go on and help others through their dark days in some way. Bill is my twin flame, our hearts beat as one, we waited a lifetime for each other and had 25 years together in joy I never knew before. We did everything together including our work. I will go forward in Bill's name and honor. It is all I can do. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne R. Posted September 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Dear Deborah, You know, I don't think you really know how much your reply has helped me. It's such a shame that you are so understanding of my emotional posts because that means that you share my deep-seated sad feelings. It seems when I feel really down I need to share my thoughts. It is only when I receive messages from others like you that I find relief. I am so sorry for your loss and hope you and all of us find peace somehow. It's good to have friends that know how it really is. Thank you for that. God bless, Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wmjsca Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Just stopped in Suzanne, to tell you that I understand exactly how you feel. The first anniversary is fast approaching and this past year has been very difficult living without the man I loved so dearly. You are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Suzanne, I'm glad my posts helped, depressing as it is. It is the way I feel and though its not the most popular thing to say to someone, it is the truth. Sharing is how we heal. I wish for you some peace and comfort soon, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 We don't live...not like we did before. Life has a dulled cast to it now...the joy, the purpose, the light of our lives is gone. In it's places resides the struggle, the aloneness, the pain. But I don't like to say that...to say that is to not give hope to anyone going through this. Some people make it through this and find some happiness, but I don't seem to have been one of them. Still, some people come to my mind, their outcome has been different. I have concluded that there is and never will be another George and it's foolish to hope for life to ever be like it was. Still, I do hold out hope for grandbabies someday...maybe that'll help, I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie Q Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Suzanne All I can say is yes to all you've said. Every day and night is a constant battle to just get through without him. People care deeply about me but no-one really understands and I truly believe no-one can do anything to help me. Nothing feels right anymore, but all I can do is keep trying and hope that something will change for the better eventually. I won't give up that hope because then what...? You are not alone...Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just one more hug Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Suzanne....just brings to mind another song I got from KC awhile back and I have it on my PC..play every day...It reminds me of the vacation Bill and I took to Paradise Island and we danced under the stars one night...The words have so much meaning for everyone I think...."Our lives are better left to chance....I could have missed the pain...but I'd of had to miss the dance"......and that memory lives in my my heart and I would not have wanted to miss that "dance".....it was magical...and so beautiful to remember....We do go on..we breathe...we survive....we live....because we have to....no matter how much we wish for things to be as they were before our loss ...I think we would all do it over again...rather than miss that "dance" of life we had together..with it's ups and downs..the good things and the bad..nothing was always perfect...it was just written that way and we followed the script ...to the end. One day there will be a new start together....that will last forever...never to part again.....Would I do it all over again....you bet......in a heartbeat...If we knew the ending of everything... we'd never do anything. Just a thought....Peace to your heart....Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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